One of the great things about being gay is that it gives us a bit of outsider status. We can step back from the main flows and expectations of society to decide where to connect back, and where to branch off. The downside, of course, is that mainstream society has been reluctant to welcome us until recently, and that battle isn’t yet won. But it’s clear that for many gay men, fatherhood is still a dream.

We wanted to hear from guys struggling to make that dream come true, so we asked Whisper to do some digging.

Here’s what they turned up:

I'm gay and in love but  feel like I'll never be complete without children and a traditional family because I never had one. My partner doesn't want the same

I wish I could have a kid with my husband, but my family wouldn't want anything to do with me. They "deal" with my marriage, but don't believe in a gay couple raising a child.

I don't care about having a nice car or house ... All I want in this world is to be a dad but I'm a gay man who doesn't make a ton of money... I feel cursed

Having a child has always been my dream. But,  trying to adopt when you're a single gay man  in Texas is so near impossible

As a gay man, I can't wait till I become dad! I will be the best parent out there. I'm just scared I'll never find a partner to share that joy with.

I'm a gay man and I would really love to have kids  one day but I'm scared of how society will treat them for having a gay  dad. Plus I'm terrified  that my kids would end up resenting me... I would feel so selfish and like a failure

I'm a young gay guy, and I want to have a kid soon really bad. The idea of being a dad sounds so great

i hope i can find a woman to carry my child into this world.  I'm a Gay Man who just wants to be a dad.

My partner & I are  getting married soon.  We decided against a wedding and are putting the money towards something more important: the baby we plan on having with our surrogate!

I believe a child should have a mother and a father but I'm a gay guy and I really want to have children one day but I would feel like I'm depriving my child of a mother and it makes me feel guilty and selfish.

It makes me sad to see people abuse and abort children. We are a gay couple that wants a  child. I wish someone who doesn't want their child would let us give them  a happy home.

I want a child. I want to have that moment of pride for my kid. Problem is, I'm gay and nobody  will allow me to adopt  as a single gay dad.

I'm gay, and I really want  to take care of a child  who needs a family, but  I'm afraid he or she would get bullied because of it

One downside to being gay is the fact that when i want children it could take years of inspection and waiting for a baby to adopt and surrogacy costs thousands of dollars.

Is it wrong that I'm a  gay man and want a child of my own so that I leave something of me behind when I go?

I just want to be a father! I want my partner to realize how much this means to me... our 6year relationship might end soon. :-(

I just want a child. I  want to be the dad I never had. I'm gay, but that won't stop me

I'm gay and I want to be a dad. However it's tough being a single parent. So I'm told. It makes me sad to think about it.

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