One guy’s dream life must be filled with HR violations: He’s practically salivating over his coworker.
“Have you ever had a coworker you worked with constantly who was so obscenely attractive that it made it hard to concentrate on your job? How did you work through that so that you wouldn’t be distracted?” the dude asked his r/askgaybros buddies recently. “I don’t hit on him or anything. I’m a good, productive worker, and we get along. But it’s getting frustrating having to force my mind back to work constantly ‘cause he is insanely attractive.”
(This thirsty Redditor described his workplace crush in another Reddit thread, writing, “It’s like an ass like that walks by and your mind goes blank. My guy basically has an insane perfect Adonis body, but then has this obscenely fat perfect ass. And we’re close, too, but it’s so hard to concentrate at work. I’ve yet to see a hotter guy in my entire life.”)
Related: A man having an affair with a male co-worker wants to know: how should he tell his girlfriend?
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Commenters, many of whom could relate, pointed out that this guy had better just keep his mind on the task at hand, not the ass on view. More than one Redditor, in fact, cited the “don’t sh*t where you eat” adage.
“Your only focus at work is to make money and go home,” one wrote. “Hot guys come and go, but you’re at work to make better your own career.”
Another said, “All you can do is force yourself to look away. I feel like constant exposure will make it easier. Eventually, you’ll just appreciate the eye candy at work.”
One guy said he’s been crushing on one of his direct reports for months now. “I know it’s never going to be anything, but feelings are feelings,” he wrote. “You know, they just happen. Just don’t let it consume you. It’s really not worth it.”
Related: Straight dude pens essay about coworker turning him from homophobe to ally
Another commenter wrote more words of wisdom: “I’ve had extremely attractive coworkers and direct reports in the past. The way I deal with it is twofold: 1) I have a ‘work-mode’ where I’m very focused on work and outcomes and ignore looks. This is my ‘straight’ mode, and I do not flirt with anyone at work, I’ve become pretty good at compartmentalizing it. (I keep things friendly but always super professional.) 2) I have a rule that I do not ever get involved with anyone that I work with/works for my same company. This is a foundational rule of mine.”
And finally, one guy brought the jokes. “Had this issue since I’ve been working from home. Every time I pass a mirror, I can’t help but stare. It’s tough, but I struggle on.”
Donston
I mean, I can’t judge because I was a bit of hoe at a couple of jobs I had in my early 20s. But everybody thirst. Keeping shit professional is a part of any job but so is often working with someone you find really attractive.
winemaker
Bottom line the old adage applies here, you never get your’ honey where you get your money’ or to be more blunt, never eat where you take a S**T. That being said many companies have strict rules about dating co-workers. Good rule rule to adhere to. keep things professional, especially since this involves your paycheck and career. Be wise.
GlobeTrotter
You don’t have a choice, you MUST keep things professional and control yourself. This is one of those major tests in life – if you manage to control your emotions and feelings, then you’re rewarded with maturity. If you give in to your emotions and make a pass at the insanely hot co-worker, then you’ve failed and risked being disciplined or fired.
Just 2 or 3 years ago I had a similar situation. They hired this insanely hot new co-worker, he had a thousand-watt smile that just lit up the room whenever he walked in. He also had an insanely hot body and tight ass, all thanks to his dance hobby. I spent hours contemplating his perfect, golden brown hair, beautiful eyes, and the movement of his firm ass-cheeks whenever I would catch him walking in the hallway. I thought I would go insane! Then to make matters worse, they assigned me to train him – sweet baby Jesus!! The furthest I got with him was exchanging Facebook profiles, and that was it. I decided I would dare not take things another step further, for fear of doing something that could cost me my job.
Several months while stalking the photos on his Facebook profile (he had some shirtless vacation photos, so sue me!), I discovered photos of him hanging out with another employee that I know to be gay – I couldn’t believe it! There they were going for car rides, hanging out at a café, there were selfie photos, photos of them horsing around, I thought I would explode out of jealousy! But guess what? You just have to control yourself and reign in your emotions. There’s no choice.
HR departments nowadays in this climate of MeToo are on heightened lookout for the slightest breach of company rules. The slightest whiff of sexual harassment is enough to get you fired on the spot. This almost happened to me as well. At the same company we got a new assistant, this pretty 18 year old girl barely out of school. She was so shy during her first few months and hardly said a word to anyone that I tried reaching out to her with some humor whenever we’d happen to meet at the photocopier machine. Whenever I saw her, I’d greet her with some harmless joke about the photocopier or the server going down again, just to get her to smile or laugh – my way of making her feel welcome in the team.
One day I got summoned by my boss to her office. She was there along with our new assistant’s supervisor. The minute I closed the door behind me I was accused – get this, of sexually harassing the new assistant! What the hell! What? Me? Sexually harass the new assistant? Yes, she reported you to HR for constantly intimidating her, coming on to her, and now she’s too scared to be alone with you in the photocopying room. I thought for a minute of telling them that this was nonsense because I was gay, but I wasn’t out at work and I didn’t want anyone knowing my business, so instead I strenuously denied harassing anyone at work and explained that I was simply trying to be friendly and using a bit of harmless humor to make her feel welcome at work.
The moral of the story: keep it in your pants guys! The climate nowadays is simply too poisonous to risk getting sued for sexual harassment. No matter how good-looking a co-worker might be, never lose sight of the fact that we’re there to work, not to seek romantic encounters. If telling some harmless jokes about the photocopier or server always going down can be interpreted as sexual harassment, imagine what could happen if you actually made a pass at a co-worker! It’s not worth it!
BoomerMyles
That story about the limp fish reporting you for sexual harassment is a real horror story.
I had an assistant formally report me for not treating her with enough respect because I would correct her IRT when she gave out wrong information to other coworkers.
She was a typical millennial snowflake who came to the workplace with an oversized sense of entitlement.
We have a major population of dysfunctional babies overcoddled by their mommies and daddies.
Cam
So the generation that got cheap school came of age during a high flying economy tries to call the generation that graduates with $150,000 in student loans who tried to get work during a recession and then covid entitled babies.
If HR took the case it sounds like you may not have been correcting her, but instead were seeking to humiliate.
Also, millennials are hitting thirties now, they’ve been in the workforce for years and I haven’t seen the country collapse. What I have seen though, are boomer managers presiding over the destruction of worker rights and toxic hostile work environments.
andrewl
As the saying goes don’t dip in the office ink.
azjeff17
I was fortunate to work for 25 years at a fortune 100 company with 4000 on-site, unattractive co-workers. I’d always say, one of the benefits of working here is there’s no temptation or distraction.