There are trials by fire, and then there are trials by wildfire.
Nursing student Brian Thomas never imagined his on-the-job education would transform into fighting on the very front lines of the COVID-19 pandemic, or that he would be forced to take extreme safety precautions each time he arrived home from his internship at a large medical institution in Baltimore.
“I walk into my house and strip down to my underwear at the door,” Brian, who lives with his boyfriend and two roommates, told Queerty‘s Mark S. King. “I leave my shoes outside, use Lysol on everything I touch, and walk to the laundry room to immediately wash my uniform in burning hot water before I shower. I don’t want to bring the virus into our space.”
The feelings of being somehow unclean have triggered emotions in Brian that he has worked for years to overcome.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“After being diagnosed as HIV-positive in 2015, I encountered all of the normal feelings that someone usually experiences,” Brian said. “Guilt, shame, and remorse, to name a few.” Brian eventually worked through those emotions, buoyed by new science proving that those living with HIV who are on successful treatment and achieve an undetectable viral load are incapable of transmitting HIV through sex (known as U=U, or “undetectable equals untransmissable”).
“When I realized I am as healthy as any other person in the world,” Brian said. “My perspective about living with HIV began to change.”
View this post on Instagram
“Some people asked me when I decided I wanted to work in health care as a registered nurse if I worried about my HIV status keeping me from getting a job or starting my career,” Brian added. “But if my undetectable HIV status is a serious concern to a prospective employer, then that’s not somewhere I want to work anyway.”
And then came COVID-19.
“When I come home after a 12-hour shift,” Brian explained, “I am now experiencing the same feelings of shame and guilt I worked so hard to leave behind. I imagine my roommates are afraid of the sight of me, and that brings back the disgust in myself I once endured. I understand whatever fears they might have because I am afraid to kiss or hug my own boyfriend. I am in constant fear that I will infect my household, my friends and my family.”
Still, Brian has chosen to put his health on the line during the novel coronavirus pandemic, and he is confident in that choice, even proud of it.
“My goal was to become a registered nurse, and what a journey that has been! I am now in my final semester of nursing school and working as a Clinical Nurse Extern in a critical care unit at a prominent hospital in my area. The COVID-19 crisis has changed everything for health care and the world has turned upside-down for everyone. I know I will come out of this as a better practitioner, and better equipped to deal with unforeseen circumstances.”
Fully informed about the gravity of the situation for patients and healthcare providers alike, Brian looks forward to emerging from the fear gripping the nation as the pandemic worsens daily.
“I have taken all the appropriate precautions at home,” Brian said. “But still, I want to be able to hold my boyfriend close to me without feeling like a viral threat. I look forward to that. Very much.”
(Queerty contributor Mark S. King has been nominated for five consecutive GLAAD media awards for his blog, My Fabulous Disease.)
BeaglePower
I don’t think that is a fair assessment. If I was as smart at 17 as I am now at 40, I would not have HIV either. You think you are in a loving relationship then your partner steps out without you knowing and now you are poz. Not all poz people are stupid.
Chrisk
“If I was as smart at 17 as I am now at 40”..well 52 in my case. I could write a book on the things I’d do different.
If I had a time machine the first thing I’d do is go back and slap the shit out of myself for being so dumb. I didn’t start smartening up till the age of 35.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
BeaglePower: He tested positive five years ago. He clearly is well educated and aware. The information regarding safe sex practices have been well established and publicized for over 30 years now. Its virtually in
imossible to become HIV positive unless you engage in some sort of unsafe practices. What he did in his personal life is his decision, he is fully out in his status, his profile identifying as positive. He clearly is a good person, putting himself at risk for what is clearly a far more dangerous risk now than HIV incredibly so….
Chrisk
Ha. Not sure why Queerty saw fit to dump the comments since they weren’t overly critical of him. Lots of praise as a matter of fact.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
EXACTLY! Censoring sucks!
Heywood Jablowme
Mark King has done some great work. He’s also notoriously thin-skinned about any criticism at all and he probably dumped the comments.
I’ll try again. These facile analogies between HIV and Covid-19 are getting pretty silly.
Brian may become a great nurse, I hope so! – but he doesn’t seem very politically knowledgeable. No prospective employer is likely to discriminate against a nurse nowadays for HIV, properly treated – even in the Trumpt@rd states.
U=U is true, and wonderful! But U=U is about sex partners and potential sex partners. Not random people. So unless Brian is planning to f*ck his roommates, patients, or co-workers, U=U would never come up. It’s just a bad analogy.
It reminds me of that weird commercial for Mavyret, the Hep C cure, where the cute guy says “Even just hanging with friends, I worried about my Hep C.” Well, um, with Hep C you’d need to do something way more intense than just “hanging with friends” like, say, sharing a needle with them while shooting heroin.
For the general public, an article like this tends to confuse the U=U message, which does still need to get out there in the RIGHT contexts.
RyanMBecker
I’m pretty sure the censorship was a bot thing. Queerty uses some highly-flawed algorithm with virtually no human intervention. About 30% of my comments are initially censored (with the status, “Your comment is awaiting moderation”). I then re-upload the post with minor changes, something as insignificant as changing a single word or adding a few commas. That usually works, but I’ve actually had to repeat the process one more time for a few posts. The longer your post, the greater its chance of being censored.
It’s VERY annoying but I’m convinced that it’s not conscious censorship and no humans are involved. What I do blame the Queerty staff for is not fixing the problem, or actually moderating the site by reviewing posts that are held or censored. This is one of the most unresponsive and poorly-run sites I’ve ever visited. Even private messages sent to Queerty are ignored. They have a link to allegedly alert the writers of gay-related news. I’ve sent them 5+ alerts in the past without any acknowledgement so I don’t bother anymore.
To be honest, I’ve come close to abandoning Queerty many times, and I still may. Not only is it woefully neglected, but the fact that users are not emailed about new replies is moronic. Other sites, like lgbtnation send alerts. I also hate that I can’t post links. Both those features were available in the old Queerty. Finally, why can’t directly reply to sub-comments? Instead, we’re forced to reply to the topmost comment even though we’re really addressing a sub-comment.
And yet spam gets through repeatedly…
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
RyanMBecker; This instance was different. The posts ChrisK were referring to were already posted, free of the maddening moderation mode! I agree with some of your comments, however Queerty still offers posters a free place to freely express their comments. You mention LBQT Nation, more like LBQT Nazi Nation. Their snowflake moderator and Editor take offense when posters call out the noxious vile smcubags who spew hatred and bigotry upon our community. They are always days behind in their postings of news.
Their actions are reprehensive I will never give those puddles of puke the benefits of a single click ever again. Queerty may have some quirks and flaws, but it’s consistently for almost 15 years been the best site to openly express your opinions. Stay well
sillyme
A comment for Mark S. King, thank you for being true to yourself and for proceeding in what you desire to do and become and for being in at the front line of everything and I certainly hope you get to graduate with honors when you take the final test and become a RN. I’ve known some in my time here at home in my city and some are/we’re friends of mine that have since passed due to other items long ago and I truly say THANK YOU!!!!
Heywood Jablowme
Mark King is the writer. Brian Thomas is the nursing student.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Heywood Jablowme: If she is the reason and getting all sand in her vagina like, she has no business authoring threads here….
I made a comment about in this day and age an educated person has very little chance of contracting HIV. But also said no reason to feel guilty and shame about corona virus. Actually called him a hero, yet comment was censored. Something I have rarely seen on this site 15 years….
o.codone
Good luck to this handsome nursing student. I hope he has great success. Nursing is a hard career choice. Dude looks strong. Keep it up, you’re almost done. 🙂
CityguyUSA
Undetectable = Undetectable
Just because the equipment can’t measure it doesn’t mean you can’t catch it.
Chrisk
Yeah, I’m sure you know better then Dr Anthony Fauci and the many large peer reviewed studies of literally thousands of people. Much more fun to come here and talk out of your ass though.