film theory

Johnny Depp Stars in Alice In Wonderland, The Gayest Film of the Next Decade

The last time Tim Burton teamed up with Johnny Depp, we got Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, which we excused because, well, we actually liked their previous pairing up, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But their new creation, Alice In Wonderland, is in a category by itself, because this may be 2010’s gayest film yet. And that’s without the token inclusion of a raging homosexual. Allow us to explain.

The costumes. Of course an Alice In Wonderland remake is going to include the zany costuming as described in the original 1865 novel by Charles Lutwidge Dodgson. But you need only look at SyFy’s just-aired mini-series Alice and this trailer to compare differences in how costume designers can reinterpret things. And we all know homosexuals to be snazzy, lavish dressers who use dress to call attention to themselves.

The voices. It’s widely known that heterosexual people speak in a dull monotone, with infrequent gestures toward upper or lower octaves. Homosexuals, on the other hand, journey across the range of a human’s voice box, hitting boomy baritone notes as well as wince-inducing high pitches. You need only listen, in this trailer, to the characters repeat Alice’s name to know what type of ensemble this is.

The drama. Gay persons need oxygen to survive. But also, drama. That Alice In Wonderland includes so much of it, however, does not make this film a gay film; just because a motion picture includes dramatics does not put it into this category. But the recreational use of drama, where drama itself is as much a character as the lead protagonist? That puts it beyond the tipping point. Look only to the Red Queen’s witch hunt for Alice as evidence.

The story. A young girl traveling to a fantasyland of colorful characters, villains, helpful allies, questions of morality, and a giant fancy dinner party? This is practically the gay rights struggle — and every seven-year-old gay boy’s dream world — packaged into a single big screen adventure.

The rabbit hole. An entire film theory class could be devoted to debated what the rabbit hole, which Alice falls down into to get to Wonderland, represents. But it’s a brown canal. Take it from there.