Queerty is better as a member

Log in | Register

Lesbian Dares Stone-The-Gays Church To Actually Stone Her

atlah church stoningATLAH World Missionary Church in Brooklyn, New York, has been making headlines lately for a controversial sign out front: “Jesus would stone homos,” it says, “stoning is still the law.”

Well, all right, thought lesbian Jennifer Louise Lopez. Let’s go see if they really mean it.

“I’m here for my stoning,” she tells the flummoxed man who opens the door. This being New York, he doesn’t bat an eye at the strange request (maybe because it does not seem strange to him?) and instead tells her to come back tomorrow, because he doesn’t have any stones. Then he suggests that the stoning guy has office hours tomorrow.

Well, sure. You can’t expect them to just stone anyone who shows up unannounced. You’ve got to make an appointment. There are a lot of homosexuals out there!

Last month, the sign said “Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man,” so clearly these people know what they’re talking about. Watch out, Michelle Obama! Here comes the ghost of Quentin Crisp!

And before that, their pastor proved that Oprah is a lesbian, simply by believing it really really hard.

On:           Mar 21, 2014
Tagged: , ,

      They probably prefer you come for Sunday Services.

      Mar 21, 2014 at 2:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • arjuna52

      My gaydar went into overdrive when that guy opened the door. Hmmmmmm……….

      Mar 21, 2014 at 3:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hephaestion

      The poor guy who answered the door was obviously gay. The lesbian should return with a load of gay porn to give the poor closeted folks who populate that church.

      Mar 21, 2014 at 5:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Evji108

      “Come back on Sunday, the gay stoning is a Holy Sacrament at this here Church. The body and blood of Homos, take and eat this in remembrance that Christ died for theee.”

      Mar 21, 2014 at 10:10 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JimboinLA

      Don’t mess with lesbians.

      Mar 22, 2014 at 3:31 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jwrappaport

      “Doesn’t bat an eye”? Yeah, he definitely did.

      Kudos to Jennifer!

      Mar 22, 2014 at 7:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GeriHew

      I feel a song coming on….

      Mar 23, 2014 at 10:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

    Add your Comment

    Please log in to add your comment

    Need an account? Register It's free and easy.

  • Copyright 2016 Queerty, Inc.
    Follow Queerty at Queerty.com, twitter.com/queerty and facebook.com/queerty.