Lesbian Dares Stone-The-Gays Church To Actually Stone Her

atlah church stoningATLAH World Missionary Church in Brooklyn, New York, has been making headlines lately for a controversial sign out front: “Jesus would stone homos,” it says, “stoning is still the law.”

Well, all right, thought lesbian Jennifer Louise Lopez. Let’s go see if they really mean it.

“I’m here for my stoning,” she tells the flummoxed man who opens the door. This being New York, he doesn’t bat an eye at the strange request (maybe because it does not seem strange to him?) and instead tells her to come back tomorrow, because he doesn’t have any stones. Then he suggests that the stoning guy has office hours tomorrow.

Well, sure. You can’t expect them to just stone anyone who shows up unannounced. You’ve got to make an appointment. There are a lot of homosexuals out there!

Last month, the sign said “Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man,” so clearly these people know what they’re talking about. Watch out, Michelle Obama! Here comes the ghost of Quentin Crisp!

And before that, their pastor proved that Oprah is a lesbian, simply by believing it really really hard.

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #atlahworldmissionary #bible #jenniferlouiselopez stories and more



    They probably prefer you come for Sunday Services.

  • arjuna52

    My gaydar went into overdrive when that guy opened the door. Hmmmmmm……….

  • hephaestion

    The poor guy who answered the door was obviously gay. The lesbian should return with a load of gay porn to give the poor closeted folks who populate that church.

  • Evji108

    “Come back on Sunday, the gay stoning is a Holy Sacrament at this here Church. The body and blood of Homos, take and eat this in remembrance that Christ died for theee.”

  • JimboinLA

    Don’t mess with lesbians.

  • jwrappaport

    “Doesn’t bat an eye”? Yeah, he definitely did.

    Kudos to Jennifer!

Comments are closed.