Harrison Butker wants college graduates to be proud. That is, unless they’re gay, transgender or women with professional aspirations.

The Kansas City Chiefs kicker delivered the commencement address last weekend at Benedictine College, a very conservative Catholic school in small-town Kansas. It took him approximately 85 seconds to start lambasting Joe Biden‘s COVID policies, and less than two minutes to proclaim the president supports the “murder of innocent babies.”

Gee, do you have any idea where this could be going?!

“I have leaned into my vocation as a husband and a father and a man,” said Butker. “Men set the tone of the culture, and when that is absent, disorder, dysfunction and chaos set in.”

From there, it didn’t take long for the religious zealot to rip the LGBTQ+ community. Butker railed against “dangerous gender ideologies” and slammed Pride. He said Catholic people should take “pride” in atavistic teachings, not homosexuality.

“Not the deadly sins sort of Pride that has an entire month dedicated to it, but the true God-centered pride that is cooperating with the holy ghost to glorify him,” he lectured.

A three-time Super Bowl champ, Butker is one of the best kickers in NFL history. He holds the record for the most field goals in a single Super Bowl (nine) and the longest-ever field goal in a Super Bowl (57 yards).

But still… he is just a kicker! Butker sits on the sidelines for almost the entire game, watching his teammates risk their bodies on the field. Then he struts in for his moment of glory, when all of the hard work is done.

The hubris is almost incomprehensible.

Fortunately, Peyton Manning taught us how to deal with “idiot kickers” years ago. Here’s how the NFL legend responded to his team’s loudmouthed kicker, Mike Vanderjagt, in 2003:

“I’m out at my third Pro Bowl, I’m about to go in and throw a touchdown to Jerry Rice, we’re honoring the Hall of Fame, and we’re talking about our idiot kicker who got liquored up and ran his mouth off.”

It’s easy to imagine Patrick Mahomes, or Travis Kelce, feeling similarly.

And we haven’t even gotten to the part where Butker instructs women to get back into the kitchen!

Yes, it’s true. Butker directs a large portion of his speech to the young women in attendance, warning them against the “diabolical lies” they’re facing. (We would be curious to hear T-Swift’s thoughts on his medieval-era worldview as well…)

“I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolic lies told to you. Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world,” he said.

As an example, Butker cited his own wife, who stays at home with their kids.

“I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say her life truly started when she started living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I’m on this stage today, able to be the man that I am, because I have a wife who leans into her vocation,” he said.

“I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker,” he added.

Butker forgot to mention he makes $4 million per year, affording his wife the opportunity to stay home and live comfortably. That seems like a pretty important part of the story!

Butker, a man who kicks a football for a living, instructed the men in attendance to embrace their masculinity and serve God.

“Be unapologetic in your masculinity. Fight against the cultural emasculation of men. Do hard things. Never settle for what is easy,” he said. “You have a talent you don’t necessarily enjoy. But if it glorifies God, maybe you should lean into that over something you think might suit you better.”

Like… kicking a football through the uprights? Don’t think so!

Before Butker instructs college grads how to be men, maybe he should tackle somebody first? Just a thought!

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