This Week In Puppets

One Million Moms Want The Muppets Yanked Off The Air Or They’ll Go Ballistic

kermit_76077We’re starting to suspect that hate group One Million Moms is, in fact, One Shady Queen — one part prankster-troll and one part performance artist; a mercurial, shape-shifting crusader who disappears from view every few months, only to ceremoniously unleash his latest multimedia stunt upon the world, mercilessly skewering the pomposity and hypocrisy of Right Wing wingnuts everywhere.

Basically, we think One Million Moms is the man of our dreams.

We’ve cultivated this theory because, as The New Civil Rights Movement points out, their latest screed stretches our willing suspension of disbelief well past the snapping point, as it expects us to swallow the concept that a pool of Irate Mommy Terrors are petitioning against The Muppets, and want the ABC show taken off the air for indecency.

A recent press release — which is a hoax, right? — claims that Muppets are the new face of sin, pouring on the mommy melodrama thusly:

“1MM suspects there are going to be a lot of shocked moms and dads when they discover that the family-friendly Muppets of the 1970s are no more. It appears that no subject is off limits…

“The new show is aimed at a mature, modern audience and addresses subjects not suitable for family viewing…

Alluding to advertisements that feature Kermie and copy that reads, “Finally, a network TV show with full frontal nudity,” the press release asserts that “technically, the advertisement is correct — seeing how Kermit doesn’t wear pants.”

So this is a hoax, right? A delicious game of mercy? Who’s zapping who here?

The press release, petulantly refusing to drop its best poker face, continues:

“The mature version of The Muppets will cover a range of topics from sex to drugs… Miss Piggy came out as a pro-choice feminist during an MSNBC interview. The puppet characters loved by kids in the 1970s and 1980s and beyond are now weighing in on abortion and promiscuity…”

So, that happened.

In more Muppet-related mayhem, Frankin Graham — son of evangelist Billy Graham — has also come out against Miss Piggy & Co., claiming the motley crew of puppets “promote sin.”

The New Civil Rights Movement reports that the evangelist recently proclaimed:

“It sounds to me like the whole show should be off limits! Hollywood seems to be in a frenzy to see what new moral low they can reach in their programming…. The Bible says, ‘Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.’ That goes for Kermit the Frog as well!”

OK, that part of the story checks out, because Franklin Graham is a total loon.