THE TRUTH CUMS OUT

Robert Pattinson Admits To “Pleasuring” Himself With Naked Man In 2008

orig-4604131Not many people know this, but before Robert Pattinson achieved world fame as a deadpan vampire in the Twilight series, he masturbated to the thought of gay sex on the set of a 2008 Spanish film called Little Ashes.

We always knew Pattinson was hard up for male-on-male contact, but he confirmed this fact in the September issue of Germany Interview. “My orgasm face is recorded for eternity,” he said, assuring that the gay sex scenes he filmed in Little Ashes were totally authentic because he was hard and euphoric. Faking it “just doesn’t work, so I pleasured myself in front of the camera.”

In case you’re not following, that means Robert Pattinson basically jerked off while making out with another naked dude lying on top of him. This is called “acting.”

On a totally unrelated note, he also says the production was “the worst” because working around other naked male actors was “mortifying.” It’s hilarious because he dated human frown Kristen Stewart for years, which if you ask us, is way more mortifying.

Unfortunately, video evidence of this glorious moment cannot be found online, but we did find this Jordin Sparks montage of the film’s nudity and softcore gay sex scenes for you to enjoy instead:

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24 Comments

  • Caliban

    I’ve gotta say I was suspicious of the Pattinson/Kristen Stewart story. Not because I think he’s gay (I don’t know) but because she might be the most bland actress I’ve ever seen. One day I expect to see a headline, “Kristen Stewart Actually Opens Her Eyes All The Way!”

    It should be accompanied by fireworks!

  • Dixie Rect

    I admit that too.

  • Alan down in Florida

    That was the most convincing I’ve ever seen him on screen.Could it be…?

  • jmmartin

    I wouldn’t mind acting with him in a movie sometime.

  • Joetx

    Kristen Stewart, the “human frown?”

    LOL! So true!

  • J.c.

    I really enjoyed that movie. The cinematography was excellent and Pattinson was very convincing as a young Salvador Dali’s being a cold opportunist descending into total madness. His acting was great in this and the story is fascinating.

  • Ryan26pdx

    Actually the footage was out there a few years ago. I’m sure it still is if you’re diligent.

  • Dxley

    I don’t think anybody really gives a fuck.

  • Caleb in SC

    “Human frown” — you nailed that one and I am still laughing!!!

  • Jake357

    That has got to be the WORST song put to montage ever. That being said, I kinda view this actor differently now, as if he gained some hot points.

  • jwrappaport

    Only a British accent could make that unkempt hair and vacant stare of his attractive – and it does.

  • KEVINVENTION

    I’m diggin’ the “Human Frown” jab, too. Could never figure out what it was about her that disturbed me so much and VOILA! I got my answer in print this morning. So VERY True. And such a Very Good line… ;)

  • NateB79

    @jwrappaport: You nailed it. Those three combined make me kind of swoony.

  • balehead

    Once again the sad queens on here have to make every straight actor who plays gay to be really gay in real life….so sad…grow lives…

  • Jake357

    And….balehead is back baiting like the trollish old fisherman he is. Sad thing is nobody wants your shriveled little worm so go troll your grindr app for whomever it is you’ll be hooking up with tonight after your Wednesday night Baptist service.

  • Dxley

    Balehead, you can fucking say that again. The guy is damaged goods and was cheated on by a scary bitch, and here are these lonely bastards kissing his feet and worshipping the ground he walks on!

  • Jake357

    Clearly then you’ll be hooking up with Dxley, which I suppose is pronounced Dicks-lee, like as in hardly and sadly.

  • Dxley

    Bitch, are you trying to be funny?

  • Caleb in SC

    Many naked men admit to pleasuring themselves to the thought of Robert Pattinson.

  • Dawson

    Again I don’t get why so called straight men have a problem getting naked around other men unless they have other things on their mind. If you are so called straight what is it that makes you ashamed? As I told my straight friend years ago. It is just a dick. It is not going to attack you unless you want it to.

  • casey

    Frankly, I’ve never understood Pattinson’s appeal!

  • SteveDenver

    Male actors who think it makes them “straighter” to complain about other men are always good for a laugh. The straight actors who talk about sex and kissing scenes being no big deal seem much more secure in their sexuality.

  • Realitycheck

    He is probably the least attractive actor ever……..
    so who cares!!

Comments are closed.