excuses and craziness

Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis’ presidential campaign officially enters its death spiral era

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Ron DeSantis speaking at a campaign event wearing a dark suit jacket with light blue dress shirt and purple tie.

Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis is reverting to an old strategy often deployed by losing political candidates: bashing the very polls that show him trailing.

At an event over the weekend in Iowa, where the flailing Florida governor has shifted roughly one-third of his remaining campaign staff, DeSantis told GOP voters to view polls skeptically.

“Some of this stuff is so fraudulent when you look at it. They want Trump to be the candidate, for their reasons,” he said.

“I’ve never seen the obsession with these polls before. It’s like they report that it’s… actually functional news. And a lot of people pay for these things.”

Spoken like someone who continues to bomb in the polls! The latest Des Moines Register sampling of Iowa Republicans shows Donald Trump with 43% of support — up from 42% in August.

DeSantis clocks in a distant second with 16% of the vote, tied with the surging Nikki Haley. “Meatball Ron” has dropped three points since August, while Haley has gained 10 points.

Right on cue, Haley’s campaign just announced a $10 million ad investment in Iowa and New Hampshire, five times larger than DeSantis’ ad budget for the same period.

As of now, DeSantis is only spending in Iowa. A couple of months ago, the chief strategist of DeSantis’ Super PAC was recorded begging donors for $50 million, pinning the campaign’s fading chances on a win in the Hawkeye State.

“This doesn’t run on, you know, fumes,” said Jeff Roe. “And so we’re going to go spend this money right now, betting that our donors won’t let us down. And I’ve been let down by donors a lot. And I’ve already lost once to Trump and we can’t do it again.”

Speaking of donors, DeSantis’ biggest backer, Las Vegas real estate tycoon Robert Bigelow, announced prior to the last debate he was ditching the gay-hating governor.

Bigelow, who believes humans can survive death, says DeSantis’ positions are too extreme.

It’s bad news when a candidate is even too crazy for a billionaire who claims he owned a ranch in Utah that was overtaken by flying orbs and other strange phenomena.

As an analogy, Bigelow said Trump is the “bull,” and DeSantis is the “dinner.”

On tonight’s menu: a cooked presidential hopeful!

DeSantis’ campaign is at such a low point, the candidate is now spending his time talking about foot fetishes and footwear.

It’s been theorized that DeSantis wears heels in his cowboy boots. The belief is so widespread, annoying businessman and 9/11 truther Vivek Ramaswamy referenced DeSantis’ lifts in the last debate.

At the aforementioned event in Iowa, voters sounded unimpressed with DeSantis.

One potential supporter pleaded for DeSantis to “do something different,” because he’s “so far behind.”

“He comes across as a manager. I love that. He’s very capable,” said the man. “But he’s not showing his heart enough and he’s not painting the vision you want to walk into.”

Good luck with that! DeSantis is famously aloof, with dozens of stories circulating about his social faux pas. Apparently, he’s done it all: stiff colleagues at the airport, snub supporters, eat pudding with his hands.

Many of the quotes from people who know DeSantis are damning.

“The more he is met by people, the more they are not going to like him,” said a former chairperson of the Florida GOP.

It’s hard to be more succinct than that!

With Ron’s social shortcomings in mind, the campaign has routinely relied on his wife, Casey DeSantis, to paint a more likable picture of her husband.

But she just keeps making him sound stranger. (Casey, who’s obsessed with making her “Walmart Melania” nickname happen, isn’t all that relatable herself.)

Ron DeSantis’ awkwardness was on full display Saturday in Iowa. When talking about the war in Gaza, he threatened to fire rockets at… the Bahamas?

Theoretically, of course.

“What are you supposed to do? I mean, I used to say even when they would just fire the normal rockets because they’ve been firing these rockets for years and years. And I thought to myself, like, if the Bahamas were firing rockets into Fort Lauderdale, like, we would not accept that for, like, one minute. I mean, we would just level it,” he said.

DeSantis has run on a myriad of hateful messages, mainly demonizing LGBTQ+ people. Maybe “leveling the Bahamas” could be next.

In this GOP field, he’s increasingly on a deserted island.

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