https://www.instagram.com/p/B_0zg7CBLJg/
Mark Turnipseed is an openly gay triathlete, coach, and father. In a powerful new essay published by Outsports, he writes candidly about his struggles with addiction and how sports allowed him to overcome his demons and accept his true identity.
Turnipseed explains that growing up in a Southern Baptist household in Georgia required him to hide who he was all throughout his childhood.
“I started lying about my preferences around age 5, when the things I seemed to like weren’t the same things other boys liked,” the 33-year-old writes.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“Out of shame, I started to force myself to like ‘boy things,’ like baseball and boxing gloves. But then it got really confusing when I started to have crushes on my friends.”
Eventually, Turnipseed left George to attend college in Montana.
“Unfortunately, my lies followed me and I ended up choosing methods to avoid the pain those lies caused that took me into drug and alcohol addiction,” he reflects.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_-g26Dh0eG/
For the next 15 years, he abused drugs and alcohol.
Over that time, he became suicidal, received multiple DUIs, and nearly died after overdosing. He also married and woman and had a child in hopes of achieving what he thought would be a “normal” life.
“I liked who I had become on the outside–seemingly straight with a beautiful wife and a baby,” he writes. “On the inside, I kept sliding back into relapses because of the inner conflicts I had been so keen on hiding. I was so used to living this way, I thought it was normal.”
Then in 2018, someone at his gym casually suggested he participate in an upcoming triathlon. It was a chance meeting, but after the conversation was over, something inside Turnipseed clicked. A little voice asked: “How long are you going to keep lying to yourself with all this?”
That’s when he decided to make a change.
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-xcthtBOBU/
“I decided to do something different to see what I could become,” Turnipseed writes. “I had no idea this decision would bring me to where I am today.”
Shortly after that, he began training for the triathlon.
“What I didn’t know is that triathlon would push me so hard to accept many things about myself and each time I accepted one of these things I felt better, not worse.”
The training was grueling and required him not only to push himself but to accept his limitations, both physically and mentally.
“I began realizing I was learning more about acceptance then I was about triathlon. I was learning to accept all of my weaknesses in both character and sport.”
Eventually, he was able to admit to himself that he was an addict and work on getting sober. He did. Then came the even harder work.
“Now it was time to let it work for my sexuality, so that I could finally be free.”
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_iwAoyBS1P/
Coming out was not easy, Turnip says, and was not without many tears.
“Owning up to my lies had some serious consequences, for myself and others,” he explains. “My wife and I cried endlessly over the truth. My coming out was far from rainbows and pink clouds.”
He continues, “Ultimately, we have begun accepting that to show our son a life of integrity we must be willing to live our truths no matter what the consequences. To show him, and others, the importance of living this way is to potentially steer one clear of the horrors I had to live through before coming to terms with who I am.”
Today, Turnipseed says he feels free for the first time in his life.
“I finally feel confident and complete in my own skin,” he writes. “I don’t have a fear overshadowing my every move, inhibiting me from facing and conquering challenges.”
He adds, “I can finally look people in the eye without trying to hide.”
Scroll down for more pics from Turnipseed’s Instagram page…
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_3GL4LBZAR/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_LdbdHB71l/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_pXukNhHyA/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_x7qV9hF68/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_fxASfhSJp/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-sp3pohXIT/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B8eDRmCBtmA/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B_saJUwB6KY/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B-X1fypBf3l/
https://www.instagram.com/p/B81fnaNB0xw/
Don't forget to share:
Troysky
…interesting. definitely not alone, as we’ve seen this story play out before.
Mister P
I love this story.
Donston
It’s nice to see people feel free, being real, being with who they really want to be with. But this is a dude who let sociological pressure, his ego and family expectation get the best of him. He collected a wife and kid then decided that it wasn’t the life for him. That’s not something I love seeing. Behind the skimpy Insta pics are three folks having to re-jigger their lives.
James123
It would be nice in doing this story justice if his wife shared her experience with this as well.
justgeo
SOOOO? Where is the special exceptional. Average southern closet fag wakes up to take care of themselves. Yawn! Find better!
Kanaka4127
Gosh you’re pathetic
nunya
His name is Legion. I just hope that gay boys born in the last twenty years don’t find it necessary to hide and then make matters worse by marrying a woman. So many in my age group (50+) did.
Donston
I sympathize with stuff like masculine/hetero pressures, religious persecution, struggles with addictions and mental health, dealing with things like confusions, fluidity, not understanding where you are in the orientation spectrum. But you can’t be out here manipulating people and keeping rather large aspects of yourself from your spouse. Even after you come clean, it ain’t cute. Furthermore, most guys don’t ask their wives for a divorce simply because they wish to hook up with dudes. There are too many DL guys out here and guys who are with women who are aware that they indulge same sex behaviors. You ask for a separation when you have lost all sexual interests in women, when you never had any real sexual interests and passions towards women and/or when you want persistent same-sex passions, affections, affirmation, love, commitment. It’s almost never just about wanting to hook up with dudes.
RyanMBecker
While much of that is true, saying that he was “manipulating people” is naive and simplistic. Having counseled many of these men (and their families), I can tell you that marriage is not always a cover, or a manifestation of dishonesty. Many genuinely believed that they were bisexual, even leaning toward heterosexuality. After all, many of these men had never experienced any same-sex relationship, except in their fantasies. They therefore have no reference point.
Just as importantly, many sincerely believed that they were going through a phase, and marriage would help them transition to heterosexuality. It’s a variant of Freudian beliefs. It’s important to acknowledge that many of these men are deeply religious. In that framework, many believe that they are being tested, whether by God or the devil, and getting married is part of passing that test. So rather than manipulating their wives, they think they are merely fulfilling God’s plan, of which the reward is complete heterosexuality.
Donston
I am aware of the nuances of sexuality. I’m aware of the impact of hetero expectations and ego and sociological pressures. I know about religious pressures. I know about fluidity and confusions. I know how complicated the romantic, sexual, affection, emotional fulfillment, relationship contentment spectrum can be. I’ve experienced some of these things first hand.
My post is based on his own words. I don’t even care about how someone lives their life. Just be real with your partner. He admitted to manipulation and admitted to keeping important aspects of himself from his wife. That doesn’t mean that he’s a bad guy and deserves to be shamed forever. But I’m also not comfortable with this site presenting him as someone to celebrate and lust after.
wade.l
Typical selfish American who has cared for no-one except himself. Lied to his family and deceived his wife and now wants to be praised for his transformation.
Dunnedin
Sheesh, I’m glad so many of the commentators lived the perfect life that never required them to hide how they felt. It was so much easier coming out in the closeted 60s when people were supportive. Now all the gay community can do is criticize and troll.
Donston
I don’t have an issue with him. That’s his life and his story. While what he’s saying reflects an old story that won’t be dying any time soon. It’s that this site is presenting him as someone for us to drool over and draw inspiration from while also talking about his drug addiction, and him manipulating and eventually leaving his wife. The combination of those things in one article comes off tacky, which of course is nothing new for this site. But I am generally tired of these dudes who are pretty much “look at my hot body boys while I also tell you about my deceptions, addictions and mental health struggles”. Once again, it comes off tacky. I guess that’s just how social media and modern “journalism” goes.
Man About Town
“Eventually, Turnipseed left George to attend college in Montana.” I’ll bet that didn’t sit well with George!
balehead
Seems more shallow than inspirational….