senator loser

Ted Cruz cursed his hometown Astros this postseason & Houston sports fans are rightfully pissed

Senator Ted Cruz

Houstonians were begging Ted Cruz to stay away.

The deeply unpopular senator confirmed he was attending the Astros’ Game 7 matchup against the Texas Rangers Monday night, even though the Astros were winless with Cruz in attendance this postseason.

With a World Series trip on the line, the stakes were far too great for Cruz to test his luck again.

But he did it, anyway.

And, unsurprisingly, the Astros lost!

The Rangers pummeled Houston 11-4 to punch their ticket to the World Series, their first trip to the Fall Classic since 2011. Series MVP Adolis Garcia was the hero, going 4-for-5 with two home runs and five RBI. The right fielder finished the ALCS with 15 RBI, a record for any playoff series.

In other words, Garcia almost single-handedly denied the Astros their third straight World Series appearance. But he received an assist from the goat himself: Senator Cruz.

The Astros went 0-5 with Cruz in the stands this month.

That’s just about as bad as his legislative record!

The Cruz sports curse dates back to at least 2018, when the Houston Rockets lost a decisive Game 7 to the Golden State Warriors in the NBA playoffs. With Cruz sitting courtside, the Rockets missed a record 27 straight three-point attempts.

It was a remarkable feat of futility, just like Cruz’s attempts to appear likable.

Prior to Monday’s Game 7, Cruz’s office defended his decision to watch his beloved Astros, bringing up the time he cheered his hometown boys to victory… in 1989.

“No one calls them the ‘Astros.’ Go Stros. Senator Cruz has a legendary record supporting the Stros in their biggest victories, including when he cheered the Stros on to victory on June 3, 1989, which was one of the longest baseball games in history,” a spokesperson told Rolling Stone. “But go ahead, write a hit piece on Senator Cruz spending time with his young daughter cheering on their hometown heroes.”

While nobody faults Cruz for spending quality time with his daughter, of course, perhaps he would harbor more goodwill if he wasn’t so odious. The anti-LGBTQ+ senator is incredibly hostile to gay rights, voting against a bill last year to codify same-sex marriage protections.

Previously, he’s said the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage was “clearly wrong.”

In recent months, Cruz has desperately tried to keep the Bud Light controversy alive, threatening a GoVeRnMeNt InVeStIGaTiOn into the beer company due to its commercial partnership with trans influencer Dylan Mulvaney.

Speaking of beer, he embarrassed himself a couple of months back, when he said President Biden was waging war on the alcoholic beverage in a truly humiliating TV segment.

One of the most unpopular senators in Washington, it looks like Cruz will be involved in his toughest reelection campaign yet next year. He’ll likely face off against Democratic Rep. Colin Allred, who’s trumping the loathsome bloviator in the fundraising department.

It’s a mystery as to why! Instead of helping Texans with everyday issues, Cruz pontificates and podcasts.

Most egregiously, he took an infamous vacation to Cancún while Texas was dealing with a horrific winter storm that knocked out power for millions.

At an event last month, he defended his abdication of duty.

“When we had a freeze–when the state was frozen–I don’t have the ability to control the weather,” he said, with the crowd audibly groaning. 

“I don’t have the ability to string power lines. I was at home with my mom and my daughters. Our power was out like everyone else. So I made the decision to take my kids to the beach.”

Unfortunately for Astros fans, Cruz didn’t leave his home state this postseason. He was front and center, watching his beloved Stros lose again and again.

Maybe it was all a test run before he suffers his own defeat next November. Time will tell.

Meanwhile, Houston natives will do all in their power to keep Cruz away from the city’s sports venues.

If only he disliked the Astros as much as he dislikes doing his actual job…

Don't forget to share: