bruising cruising

The 5 Worst Craigslist M4M Crime Stories

California cops recently snagged Angel Pena Ayala, a 24-year-old felon who used Craigslist to rob gay victims at gunpoint. And it reminded us that Craigslist’s M4M section is not only a good place for “RAW BB BTTMS ISO GROUP LOADZ.” It’s also a nifty place for murderers, child rapists, celebrity fakes and pranksters looking to embarrass their straight co-workers. Doing away with “erotic services” hasn’t stopped Craigslist criminals. Here are five recent heinous homo CL stories — modern day fables to give you digital masturbators some friendly advice. [image via]
THE STABBING SATANIST
WTF HAPPENED?: When WABC Radio Reporter George Weber posted an ad looking for “violent sex”, he met Satanic 16-year-old knife fetishist John Katehis. Weber wanted to pay Katehis $60 to smother him with a pillow. But instead, Katehis tied Weber’s ankles with duct tape and stabbed Weber 50 times in the neck and body. LESSONS LEARNED: If Weber had checked out Katehis’ MySpace page before inviting him over, he might have seen his creepy-ass knife collection and friendly warning, “If you disrespect me then I will fucking break your neck.” And remember, statuatory rape laws exist for the good of both children and adults. Sixteen-year-olds make horrible lovers, under any circumstances.
THE CRAWFORD FAKE
WTF HAPPENED?: Apparently Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford likes to work out at the gayest gym in all of New York (Equinox in the Meatpacking District). Some of his gym mates have even reported seeing him in the steamroom during the cruisiest hours. Not that that makes him gay (it might just mean he’s vain). But it certainly doesn’t help his gay rumors much. After one of his Tuesday night workouts, someone pretend to be Chace and posted this message on Craigslist’s “M4M Missed Connections”:
You were lifting in a black tank top and black Adidas pants. I was wearing a gray tee with a green cap. I’m not sure if you were working out with your boyfriend or if he was just a friend – either way, you’re a stud. I’m a fairly recognizable actor, so I didn’t want to approach you on the gym floor – but now I find myself wishing that I had waited around for you in the locker room – or something. Msg me if you see this – hope to see you again.
But an Equinox employee expressed serious doubt that the gray-teed, green-capped Chace was “bold and stupid enough to out himself on Craigslist.” He said, “That is an act saved for VGL bros who want to get some beers and see what happens, their GFs being OOT and all.” LESSONS LEARNED: Closeted celebrities are more likely to pluck a boy from their own personal orchard rather than get blown in a steamroom or cruise for free ass online. Also, the Missed Connections section of Craigslist is one of the saddest places in all of cyberspace.
THE MALIGNED MED STUDENT
WTF HAPPENED?: Daniel P. Heeren, a 24-year-old med student from Albany, wanted to fuck a teenage boy. So he posted a Craigslist ad and drove to Panera Bread to nibble on his nubile nude. But instead of finding a teenage boy, Heeren found a police officer who arrested him and confiscated his sex toy, lubricant and condoms. LESSONS LEARNED: Always use the “half your age plus seven” rule when deciding whether to fuck someone younger than yourself. Also, using Craigslist to find boy snatch is about as smart as calling 911 to buy coke. That medical textbook might be boring, but it’s an infinitely better place to stick your nose.
MILKING THE COW
WTF HAPPENED?: As a prank, several dairy workers in Southern California placed an anonymous gay sex ad on Craigslist’s “Casual Encounters” section along with their straight, married co-worker’s home phone number. The ad read:
“seeking a hot stud for first timer… recently divorced from my wife, have come to terms with my homo sexuality [sic], and need someone to teach me the right way, and be gentle at the same time, age, race not important…”
Over the next two days, the married man got a bunch of phone calls from pervy guys who “asked for sex and made highly offensive and graphic sexual comments and invitations.” The man sued the dairy where he worked and Craigslist. No word yet on his success. LESSONS LEARNED: Try not to work in a place staffed by douchebags. At least you know how to celebrate your frienemy’s birthday this year.

THE CRAIGSLIST KILLER

WTF HAPPENED?: Another Albany med student (what’s wrong with that place?) 22-year-old Philip Markoff used Craigslist to lure sex workers to their death. “The Craigslist Killer” shot a 26-year-old masseuse to death, robbed an exotic dancer, and held up a Las Vegas hooker—he even went after transexuals. Police eventually arrested him after linking him to three crime scenes via video footage.

LESSONS LEARNED: CYA if you’re an online sex worker. Condoms will only keep you so safe. Perhaps you’d prefer a career at Starbucks? They have health insurance.

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31 Comments*

  • delurker again

    Missed connection posts are sweet.

  • Pygar

    @delurker again: good luck on your disability!

  • delurker again

    @Pygar: ???

  • clark

    You’ve got to be crazy to hook up with someone from the internet. I wouldn’t trust anyone. Scary.

  • delurker again

    @clark: I guess 80%+ of gay men are crazay.

  • Solis

    Best to just grind her at that very moment!

  • clark

    @Solis: Took me a while to figure out what you were saying….showing my age!

  • hardmannyc

    Going on Craigslist for gay sex is like going to a disco to find a ballroom dancing partner. You might find one, but there are way better places to look.

  • Rikard

    Love cl. Have found friends and ltr in the m4m nsa section. when it comes to the casual hook up though, there are a lot of gl younger guys i see at the clubs, gym, and community events who will not give someone my age a second look, at least in front of their friends, but they beat a path to my door when they read my stats and interests. If at a fit age 50 i need an assist from anonymity i’ll take it. caution is advised no matter where you meet. I have more stories about the interesting guy who becomes bizarre by the third drink at the club than I do about weirdos from cl.

  • Captain Save-a-Ho

    Wait….these are the WORST crimes…of all the shit that goes down on Craigslist and someone pretending to be some twink fag from a lame TV show is listed as being a crime? That must have been the filler one right….

  • Nick

    Here’s an idea… How about not trolling for “boy snatch” in the first place? Then you don’t have to worry about cops on Craigslist OR being a creepy pedophile!

  • NoeJoe

    @hardmannyc: Just out of curiosity, where might I find a ballroom dancing partner other than my local disco? Craigslist, under Activity Partners?

  • Ogre Magi

    @delurker again: No, just the ones who post here!

  • Whoddafunk?

    A lot of younger guys search for older men on craigslist and that fact keeps the older men coming to the site day after day.

  • delurker again

    @Whoddafunk?: the younger boys are looking for $ugardaddies, and the old fools are more than happy to part with their money.

  • hardmannyc

    “Just out of curiosity, where might I find a ballroom dancing partner other than my local disco? Craigslist, under Activity Partners?”

    Well, for starters, how about a ballroom dancing class? Or a ballroom dancing group?

    My point was that, with Adam4Adam, Manhunt, etc., why would someone go on a general board like Craigslist?

    And to Rikard: I’m older than you are, and I do very well online. With recent photos!

  • adman

    I got harassed by people I knew on CL, or pranked, whatever. The experience taught me two things.

    A)You don’t want to personally know a monk. That is a man of the cloth, in general, actually. They are looking for prey, doesn’t matter that I was thirtysomething, he was gonna fix me, and this WAS AA After all…

    B)Missed Connections is for stalkers and slanderers….venting your feelings anonymously about someone in the real world can’t work. It is not real, it is not anonymous, GET OVER IT!!! Doesn’t matter if you’re in a room with others or online, people. Seriously. Fucked. Up. People. In. AA. {{{shudders}}

    Three years later I get a call from the local PD asking if I wanted to help them on CL. (wtf???) They came over with all my old posts defending myself and said one of the “culprits” (turns out there were a few) was up to his old tricks with someone else, so I confirmed the name. Yes, I’m a snitch and anti AA, I guess. I thanked them and haven’t heard from them since. And to think I really love old queens. It’s just that crazy sadistic glee doesn’t mellow with time, apparently.

  • YOUTH IN REVOLT

    Adman you are a perfect example of the fucked up people ranting on craigslist and elsewhere……

    Shesh what a wacko

  • horetensis

    craigslist missed connections are, indeed, a very sad place:

    missedconnectionspoetry.tumblr.com

  • adman

    @YOUTH IN REVOLT: See, that was my point entirely..what a whacko for going there in the first place. But then you’re cast in an entirely different light, now, aren’t you friend? (he asks the anonymous poster to the notoriously fickle website Queerty) lol. Thanks for the back up?

  • hardmannyc

    ^^^ seriously. he totally misread your post.

  • Mike

    @clark: and you’re crazy if you hook up with a guy in a bar too. WTF difference does it make?

  • Barbara Smith

    People need to keep their guard up and not be naive. It is getting crazier out there but common sense you will be ok.Do not invite someone to your house if you are selling anything of value or just meet people cause you are desparate. btw there is a site in which you can state your opinions on issues like this. http://opinion.ezwingame.com/topics/is-selling-on-craiglist-getting-too-dangerous

  • John Miller

    “The Craigslist hands-off policy allows anybody to post an anonymous ad for free. This results in a database populated mostly by trashy messages, many of which are part of illegal activities,” observed Jim Wilson, V.P. of GlobalListings.org, a competing classifieds platform. In contrast, GlobalListings.org verifies the identity of each advertiser by imposing a modest fee, which starts at $1 for a local ad. Wilson added, “It’s a small price to pay for greater security and it also allows us to keep our database free of garbage entries.”

  • justnow

    @hardmannyc: where else would you look? i kinda need your email for the deez

  • Jeffree

    @JustNow: One of my female friends met her ballroom/tango/samba partner on Yelp. They dated briefly, but now still dance together every couple weeks. Worth a try maybe. At least on that site (most?) people have profiles and you can read their prior posts.

  • jonny

    THe last one was a BU (boston univ) med student.

  • david guinane

    Lol, I was locked up with Ayala, cool dude lol. Funny shit

  • Cumdump

    I have never had a problem with craigslist I have sucked off literally hundreds of guys from my ads got loads dumped in me by a ton more and have organized 3 gang bangs on my ass the last of which 34 guys showed up and all fucked me bareback until they spilled their cum deep in my hole……. fun times

  • Cherry Boy

    I like CL because it is such a sleazy place to meet someone for sex. I don’t meet guys who won’t exchange a few emails first with detailed stats and what they like and don’t like. I hate the ads that say they want sex now and no email exchanges, or when they demand a picture of you and your stats but won’t provide their own. Those ads are red flags.

  • Tommysole

    I went to a hook up and there was 5 guys waiting for me.
    My hole was gaping for a week and leaking for days.

Comments are closed.