TEAR JERKER

The 7 Craziest Things Anti-Gay Bigots Say About Us

imageA document making the rounds online will either make you laugh so hard you’ll cry, or cry so hard you’ll laugh. Either way, get ready for a lot of feelings. Hero blogger Alvin McEwen gathered some of the craziest, scariest, meanest, weirdest things that the religious right has to say about LGBTs, and put them into one exhaustive document. Titled “How They See Us,” it’s climbed its way to the top of the Scribd’s political category over the last few months. Here are a few of our favorite excerpts, emphasis ours throughout.

• Homosexuality is “…one man violently cramming his penis into another man’s lower intestine and calling it ‘love’” – Matt Barber, Liberty Counsel

• An informative brochure entitled “Homosexuality: Legitimate, Alternate Deathstyle,” featuring a parade of gay skeletons (above)

• “My belief is that if the medical community would just step forward and just would share with the American people what happens to the male anus, the problems that homosexuals have with their rectums, the damage that is done, the operations that are needed to sew up their bodies if you will, and how many of the men don’t even give these stitches time to heal before they are back out there practicing that wicked behavior. Some are bleeders, men who are not turned off by ingesting the feces of other men.” – North Carolina pastor Patrick Wooden

• “Hitler discovered that he could not get straight soldiers to be savage and brutal and vicious enough to carry out his orders, but that homosexual solders basically had no limits and the savagery and brutality they were willing to inflict on whomever Hitler sent them after. So he surrounded himself, virtually all of the Stormtroopers, the Brownshirts, were male homosexuals.” – Bryan Fischer, American Family Association

• “A. P. Bell and M. S. Weinberg, in their classic study of male and female homosexuality, found that 43 percent of white male homosexuals had sex with five hundred or more partners, with 28 percent having 1,000 or more sex partners” – Homosexuality, Placing Children at Risk

hat we have is the gay Gestapo who go out and try to intimidate morally, economically, professionally, and personally anyone who speaks out against the homosexual agenda.” – Jeffrey Kuhner, The Washington Times

• “…what we have is the gay Gestapo who go out and try to intimidate morally, economically, professionally, and personally anyone who speaks out against the homosexual agenda.” – Jeffrey Kuhner, The Washington Times

• “Homosexual activists claim their lifestyle, which in some cases includes thousands of sexual partners, should be sanctioned, protected and granted special rights by society.” – Focus on the Family

Ha ha! Lulz all around. Go check out the rest of the document for even more insanity. And then when you’re done, check out this “Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion” book, it’s a real hoot.

To read more musings from gay sex-obsessed conservative pundits, go here.