There’s A Right Way And Wrong Way To Have An Orgasm

As we’ve previously explained, the male orgasm is an intense neuromuscular euphoria that begins with a gradual throb of the sphincter and climaxes with an explosion at the tip of his penis, about 10 to 15 seconds later.

So what happens once those 10 to 15 seconds are up and the fun is over?

Researchers at Pace University are on a mission to find out. They recently conducted a study on orgasm etiquette, in which participants, mostly consisting of gay men and heterosexual women, were asked their opinions about climaxing in the bedroom, the Huffington Post reports.

Most participants agreed that mutual orgasm (i.e. cumming at the same time as their partner) was their preferred scenario. Which makes total sense. Cumming together is fun. Not to mention, nobody likes being the odd one out, or having to awkwardly finish themselves off with their partner gently snoring beside them, or, on the flip side, performing seemingly endless fellatio on their lover, who may or may not be suffering from performance anxiety, when all they really want to do is roll over and fall into a blissful sleep.

The second most popular scenario indicated that men preferred to finish after their partner. How cum — er — come? Well, it could have to do with the fact that after a man achieves orgasm he enters a “refractory period,” during which even light touch to his genitals can be less than pleasurable. If his partner is already taken care of, he doesn’t have to worry about continuing to perform when his less-than-throbbing member would rather be taking a coffee break.

The final tidbit of information the study uncovered was this: That the majority of participants believed, regardless of who finishes first, both parties should ultimately achieve orgasm. When it comes to dancing the hanky panky, nobody should be left out in the cold. Proof that the concept of reciprocity is still alive and well.


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  • Billy Budd

    I don’t care about simultaneous orgasms. I think they are too difficult, extremely difficult to achieve. I would rather cum after my partner does. I like to cum while french kissing (and fuck*ing) or while being penetrated.

  • Mezaien

    @Billy Budd: Ho man I can help you with all of it.

  • Billy Budd

    @Mezaien: LOL :)

  • NateOcean

    This is the advantage of an orgy: You can have a simultaneous orgasm with partner number two, just after you’ve finished off the first guy, and are about to get off the third.

  • Bulls Eye

    With so many salaciously titled, yet totally useless internet articles vying for readers’ attention, this ranks right up there.

  • ethan_hines

    NUMEROUS studies have been done on the female orgasm. Almost none have been done on the male orgasm. To this date medical science can not explain the refractory period nor the sensitivity that occurs after orgasm. There is some anecdotal evidence that the ref. period is linked to Prolactin a hormone secreted after orgasm that may also be responsible for the fatigue some men experience after orgasm. There should be more resources devoted to studying the male orgasm.

  • Virge


    I agree wiith both of you. There’s not one word in the article with any new information in it. The only reason I clicked to read this was that I hoped it would include something about male multiple orgasms. I did a search in queerty and found out they’ve never covered the issue.

    My man and I accidentally “discovered” it 5 years ago during him being penetrated. It scared the crap out of both of us because it was totally unlike regular orgasms. It happened a few days later. That led to him going to a gay doctor he knew well. That led to us first learning about MMOs and then getting better at them.

    It totally changed our sex life which was already fantastic. Now while I’m penetrating him the right way, he can have “dry orgasms” about 40 seconds apart for five or six minutes at a time until he’s ready to ejaculate and relax. There’s loads of credible information about MMOs on the internet if you want to research them. There’s also one forum devoted to the subject but to be honest the information there makes it sound much more complicated than it is with all their talk about chakras and breathing exercises.

    Prostate stimulators made by aneros and mangasm are for this and have helped me have MMOs but not to the same level as my man experiences them. if you want more info leave a note here and I’ll guide you. Here’s a link to a video off redtube of a 19 y/o guy using an aneros (hands free) to get about seven orgasms in a row.

  • Daggerman

    ……to be honest I have never considered myself hot or good in bed, and I get somewhat angry when I hear of other peoples enjoyment and euphoria-s!!! Sad–you must be joking–I pleasure myself in ways that most anyone couldn’t/wouldn’t imagine! Well-maybe only a few…and I’ve seen countless shrinks so f*** O**…..

  • Bradley Sharp

    Orgasm is not the goal. Sometimes we don’t both cum. Sometimes we don’t cum at all. That’s ok

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