@elizahhh##stitch with @sophiamastt y’all allies until it stops being convenient for you. ##fyp ##fy ##lgbtq ##lesbian ##gaybar ##gay ##lgbt♬ original sound – eliza🦋
“No, because literally. There used to be 200 lesbian bars in the US. Now there are 21. 21 lesbian bars. There are 800 gay bars in the US, which sounds like a lot. I mean, a lot more than 21 sure. But it’s actually not that many. Straight people have everywhere else, literally everywhere. Everywhere. And we want one safe space for us and then y’all take over? I’m not even saying whether or not they should or should not come to gay bars. But if y’all are going to be allies and stand with us until we actually tell you what we want and what’s hurting us then you’re performative and not actually allies. Y’all want a safe space? So do we. And we have none, so…”–Lesbian TikTok star Elizahhh decrying the invasion of gay and lesbian spaces by straight women. Elizahhh made the statement following a lament by a fellow TikToker that she went to a gay bar, hit on five women, and all five turned out to be straight. She further notes that COVID-19 has resulted in mass closures of LGBTQ bars and clubs nationwide.
UlfRaynor
Amen sister, PREACH!!!
Rugby8
Ridiculous
LAtvGuy
I don’t really go to gay bars anymore, but the last time I did, I was surprised at how this female bachelorette party had taken over the place. There also several straight couples. In my 20’s and 30’s, I could go to gay bars, flirt with guys and know they were gay. Now it seems you never know for sure.
mountainmaat
Here in Portland, OR we have a couple all gay – all male strip clubs.. And one of them, the best, old school one; if a str8 party shows up, they invite them in.. and then go aggressively after their men. hahaha I love it. And security is always close by watching – making sure if they don’t like it, they leave.
Leo
“In my 20’s and 30’s, I could go to gay bars, flirt with guys and” …………maybe get arrested.
cuteguy
@mountainmaat
What are the name of the strip clubs ?
nebskram
this is to “cuteguy” dude you literally have your googler right in front of you use it but if your too dumb the list starts with CC slaughters, Scandal’s, Eagle Portland, Escape, Local Lounge, Sante Bar & Grill, Stag PDX, Darcelle XV, Silverados, and Crush so take ur pick we got something for everybody
missvamp
before i realized i was pan, i went to the gay bars with my lesbian best friend. i loved going & had the best time. no one cared there was a “straight” girl there. i think they all knew before i did. i was kinky, but just hadn’t found the people who made me realize i wasn’t straight. but going was still alot of fun.
TimidTim
I don’t mind it but on Instagram stories for example, there’s always that one group of young, hunky gays and twinks that brings their hag along. If she’s not one of the frumpy big girls they feel sorry for, and she’s got a cute figure and is pretty, they tend to dress like they’re ready to roam the streets. I always wondered why that is. Like are they looking on going on some kind of converting spree? Good luck with that notion.
GrizzleyMichael
I went to this gay bar in Vancouver Canada and that has the total of 5 floors. The 2 upper floors is called the Leather Loft and I think it was every Thursday night is BEAR NIGHT. I was at this bear night and all of a sudden this man comes in with his girlfriend and she brings her girlfriends and start having a hen party. I was so pissed off at myself for not saying anything, when he came up to me and ask if this was alright. You could have taken them down to the second floor where there is a dance floor and another thing we can’t post a sign outside the door saying it is a private party
Rugby8
RIDICULOUS!!!!!
You want things/people/places to be inclusive — but you don’t want to be held to the same standard.
What you are doing is Whining/Throwing a Tantrum…
Like a 5 year old.
ProfessorDave
Ther’s inclusive, and there’s also For Us By US. I’m fine if they behave like everyone else, but the minute it becomes a “Look at me!” fest, they don’t deserve to be in what’s supposed to be a safe space for gay folk.
Raphael
You’re the one being ridiculous and having a tantrum at everyone here. We don’t live in your fantasy world. When it actually becomes safe to go anywhere regardless of sexuality, then maybe we won’t need “gay bars” anymore, but until then… Oh, and I may add, they’re the ones who need to take the first step towards inclusiveness, not us.
armandov
If there was a gay bar on every corner you might have a point but that’s not the case. The ratio of straight to gay bars in most cities is 300 to 1. Even in 2021, the lgbt community needs safe spaces. For many, it’s critical to have safe spaces, especially in smaller cities in the south and Midwest.
Straight people don’t need to be at gay bars – they can go anywhere. For many in the lgbt community, they don’t have that option without being harassed or victimized
Rugby8
RAPHAEL –
I started going to gay bars in the 1970s – when the didn’t have windows so no one could see in.
We have come so far, and with all the progress, it’s a Ridiculous notion that Straight people be excluded. “Discrimination is ok as long as You are the one Discriminating?
Don’t think so.
Grow up and stop ranting like a child
“It’s mine, you can’t play with it”
Raphael
@Rugby8 The irony of your last statement LOL Not everyone lives your privileged life, in your privileged region. We’ve come a long way since the 70s, sure, but nowhere near that we don’t need safe spaces anymore. Also, it’s a BUSINESS, not a public utility. There are business for various different crowds and genders. There are barber shops for men, beauty salons for women, clothing stores for specific body types…
Lobeskc
I kind of agree with you. We as gay people want to be treated equally and fairly. So how hypocritical would it be to deny entry to straight people into a gay bar? You can’t discriminate under any circumstances. Period.
MarkinTex
@Raphael “it’s a BUSINESS, not a public utility” – yes, a business that falls under public accommodation in Title II of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. How can our outrage against bakeries that refuse to make wedding cakes for gay couples have any moral legitimacy if we support the notion that straights shouldn’t be in “our” bars?
@armandov the reason why gay bars have dwindled so much in the post-Will & Grace world is it is safe to be out in virtually all spaces in any decent-size city. And in any Midwestern or Southern small town where it isn’t safe to be out in mainstream places, I highly doubt that there are many breeders interested in sightseeing at the one gay bar in town, so your argument that straights should stay out of gay bars because “we still need our safe spaces” is a specious one.
So I agree with Rugby8 and Lobeskc, it’s hypocritical to demand inclusion but then support exclusion when it suits you. Discrimination is wrong. Period.
MISTERJETT
the straight women that i know go to gay bars because they don’t get hit on and they don’t feel pressured to “put out”. they can just relax ,have a good time, make new friends and not just bed partners.
armandov
But gay bars were never designed to be safe spaces for hetero women but rather for the lgbt community. Why are gay bars their safe space to take shelter?
SFMike
Gay men have been complaining about this for years but as men, of course, we are not listened to as we are usually al painted as misogynist, racist and sexist and not deserving of a safe space. This has been going on since the 70’s and we’re used to it by now in whatever bars are left.
moretruth
So true. The fact is, if lesbians want more bars they need to support them. They don’t.
John
I agree with her 100%. I get that straight girls go to gay bars because they just want to have fun without being hit on but at the same time, they are taking away from our safe space. I couldn’t stay in a gay bar recently because it was rented out for a bachelorette party. Really? You couldn’t rent out any other bar? And I see it all the time.
storm45701
The establishment may have had zero choice. In some cities, you can’t discriminate and bar groups from your premises.
Kevan1
@John I think that the gay bars are the ones responsible for renting to bachelorette parties. The bar owners need to tackle some of these issues for their gay customers.
Den
“The establishment may have had zero choice. In some cities, you can’t discriminate and bar groups from your premises.”
A bar is not necessarily a catering hall and is under no obligation to rent the entire space to a group. While refusing entry to a group of women might have been problematic, refusing to rent the entire space to them would not have been. So the decision to do so is entirely on the business owners. If this was recent it may be an attempt to get some business in a not-yet- post pandemic world where bar attendance remains low.
JanDivine
I really don’t care who is in the bar. Being gay in an all gay bar does not make me feel any safer. All I ask is, “Just don’t hurt me!”
Jack Meoff
The number of gay bars in the world has been steadily diminishing as we gain wider acceptance in the community. This has come about because gay people realise they can now socialise in mixed environments more safely and frequent gay bars less often. Unless we make an effort to support these venues It stands to reason that the number of gay bars will continue to decline as we gain more freedoms and acceptance in the wider community. Lesbian bars have been subject to this more than men’s bars for decades due to lack of support by the lesbian community so who is to blame for that?
BivisibleGuy
BY the lesbian community? I think you mean support FOR the lesbian community. They have stood loyal by our side throughout the AIDS epidemic that is still sweeping our community, and again, more recently, through marriage equality (the second one a trial for both communities, but the first one obviously gay male). Meanwhile, white gay men have mysoginistically been the center of attention for far too long. All queer men should be feminists.
armandov
You’re not American and don’t seem to realize that there are many small cities in conservative America that have one gay bar – the lifeline of the gay community – that have been taken over by selfish straight chicks who could go anywhere. Why ruin the only one thing the gay people in that area?
Openminded
I agree with Jack’s point. Another point is that if you want something, you have to support it. We can’t expect to have any bar or restaurant stay open if we only patronize it once or twice a year. Another point that I believe is probably behind the issue of straight women in lesbian bars is the fact that the straight women feel safe against unwanted male attention/aggression at a lesbian bar. Society has done a good job of learning it’s o.k. to say NO to unwanted same sex advances and both parties walk away, but the macho hetero male is still a stubborn horny bull, especially at bar scenes, and can be unacceptably aggressive. My final point is that it could well be possible that some Lesbian bars wouldn’t be open today if not for the financial support of the encroaching straight women patronizing the bar. I can definitely see the point of “my space”, but if the straights are overrunning the bar, then there is an argument that another bar will open due to “supply and demand” of the business. If there aren’t more Lesbian bars opening, I’m thinking they need to be looking at themselves for possibly not supporting that which they claim to find so important. Maybe somebody needs to consider a “Women’s only bar” where straight women, gay or straight, can go without male harassment.
ERNurse
Okay, I guess I will put in my 2 cents. I too do not believe women should be allowed into male gay bars. I know, I know, they want to go out and have fun without being hit on! I grew up in the 60’s and want our places to remain gay male oriented. I am tired of being inclusive. It doesn’t get us anywhere. And I am dead set against Hen Parties. No in our bars!!.. There are few safe spaces for us these days. The young twinks want to cruise on line and be all cutesy that gay bars are becoming less available around the country and world. Pretty soon there won’t be any safe spaces where we can go and be with our own.
Doug
I live in San Francisco and I’m not going to clubs much anymore, but when I do go I can’t say I see a lot of straight people frequenting them. I’ve seen groups of 3-4 women in men’s bars, but it doesn’t really bother me. There are also a lot of “mixed” clubs that are opening now, where everyone is welcomed.
malerntogo
A few years ago I took a fellow Nurse, a straight female, to a Gay men’s bar in San Francisco. She became rather drunk and was bumping and grinding on this guy. I finally had to drag her off the dance floor, much to the dismay of her dance partner. He told me I had no right to tell her what to do and threatened to fight me for her. The guy was obviously straight and thought he had some claim on her. I asked some friends to help and the bar threw him out and permanently 86’d him. I drove her to her apartment, tucked her into bed, put a garbage can on the floor next to her, locked her door and left.
Straight guys are going to Gay bars to pick up straight women so… there’s that too!
Openminded
I’m betting as this continues to evolve, the gay bars will become known as no longer safer than reg. bars for women and the women will leave the gay bars alone. Time often fixes many problems.
barryaksarben
I love the idea of them being all inclusive but I also have seen more than a few straight people causing problems and havng to be forcibly ejected. I do not appreciate being looked at like an interactive ZOO
jhmotjr
I agree completely with this TikToker. I haven’t been to a gay bar in a long time, because on the weekends there can be more straights than gays. Some of us haven’t adjusted well to the advent of gay dating apps; some of us do better the old-fashioned way, meeting new people in-person, and this is now further complicated with all the straights flooding our bars. My estimation is that there are fewer and fewer gays going out to gay bars for various reasons; some have found better success with the dating apps, others have been discouraged and put-off by the floods of straights into what used to be an exclusively gay bar, making it difficult, if not impossible to meet another gay person for that reason. On the upside, owners of the remaining gay bars are delighted with healthy profits from alcohol sales, at the expense of long-time gay customers who used to frequent their establishments eventually no longer showing up. The younger generations of gays have NO CLUE what they’re missing, because they weren’t even alive during the days when there were gay bars that were exclusively gay, some fetish bars, where anything and everything happened and the patrons were happy about that. With all the straights showing up, those activities have stopped. Whatever might be observed in a gay bar today is only the very faintest glimmer of what used to be commonplace (in the fetish bars, at least). This might not be the best comparison, but straight women who sometimes just want to hang with other women for a ladies night out with no men around, or straight men who sometimes just want to hang with other men with no women around for a football or bowling night out is sort of like how we gays want to just be with other gays, sometimes in a specific setting, such as a leather bar where we can just be ourselves, and where ANYTHING goes (at least it used to be that way many years ago).
cubcmh
Totally agree. This isn’t an issue of inclusion; it’s about respect. Respect our culture and community. Inclusion should have a net positive gain – not result in our losing safe spaces.
Rugby8
She is Ridiculous!
winemaker
Straight people have had their bars for years and the gay community needs to regain our safe meeting places. Many straight females go to a gay bar knowing they won’t be hit on. Well those women need to learn how to politely decline any unwanted attention ands offers, period.. That being sad I haven’t gone to a bar in a long time due to the many rude and often nasty men that many of these places here in San Francisco seem to always attract. Not to be negative but over they years these one time friendly places have gotten more and more unfriendly. Years ago when I lived in Los Angeles, there was a bar on Melrose Avenue that had for many years been the Hollywood Canteen, a straight bar and had recently changed ownership and became a gay bar. The new owners solved any potential problems by having a sign near the front door ‘this establishment is now a gay bar’
MarkinTex
This is such a stupid argument. Yes, gay bars and lesbian bars were an important safe place back in the day, but the reason why they have dwindled so much in the post-Will & Grace world is it is safe to be out in virtually all spaces in any decent-size city. And in any Midwestern or Southern small town where it isn’t safe to be out in mainstream places, I highly doubt that there are many breeders interested in sightseeing at the one gay bar in town. I’m old enough to be this Tiktoker’s father, and even I’m just barely old enough to remember the time when it was truly unsafe to be publicly out, the breeders’ wanting to visit gay bars starting in the 90s was heralded as a sign things were finally changing and they were not just tolerating, but starting to appreciate the community. To see someone as young as her talking about the need to keep segregated gay bars sounds like a young black person demanding that they should have their own water fountains. The living gay people who can actually remember what it was like to really need a safe space in a gay bar are few and far between and not out clubbing anymore, this Tiktoker’s rant is nothing more than self-righteous posturing
pancounselor
The amount of bi/pan/polysexual erasure in these comments is disappointing. Do better.
MarkinTex
“bi/pan/polysexual erasure” sounds like a phony issue fabricated as a cudgel to pharisaically wag a finger at people.
hatefullygay
Couldn’t agree more, force us gays to remain separate from the humans. They don’t like us for our disgusting lifestyles, our diseases, our lack of humanity! I say FINE. We’ll just separate ourselves and ignore them, maybe they could put us somewhere away from proper society where we would never have to see them again, I hear Siberia is nice.