I think it would help them understand women, It’s such a vulnerable position to be in, and it’s such a passive position to be in. And there’s such an invasion, in a way, that even if it’s consensual, it’s just very personal. And I think there’s a psyche that happens because of it that makes you understand and appreciate what women go through their whole life, because it’s not just sexual, it’s a complete setup of the way the world works, that one sex has the ability to literally—and is expected to and is wanted to—but also there’s an invasion. And I think that that’s something most men do not understand at all.”—Designer/director Tom Ford, explaining to GQ why he thinks it would be beneficial to society if every straight man was penetrated at least once in their lifetimes.
DistingueTraces
Once is the worst number of times to bottom.
jdboston617
His comments are ridiculous and frankly as narrow-minded as any bigot.
To say, a man should engage in male to male anal sex for the sheer purpose of “understanding women” or to feel “vulnerable” or an “invasion” or to be “passive” is ridiculous. First, it’s insulting to imply that having a c*ck up your ass will somehow give you empathy. Says who? I see no evidence to that whatsoever. Or that a man can’t know this feeling without getting f*cked. Further, he’s basically giving fuel to the fire of ignorance by implying that a receiving man is somehow like a woman and that receiving is “invasive”. Dumb. Male to male anal intercourse should be for men who want it. Sex is not an experiment. You have the desire or do not regardless of your sexual orientation.
It’s pink-faced thinking. I’d expect better from him. I’m hoping he is simply being misquoted.
lycanfangs
Fashon Designer, Film Maker and now, Expert on being a Bottom…. Toms Unstoppable
geoker
I have always felt that tops in a gay relationship should bottom. It brings a feeling of closeness you don’t feel being the penetrator. It is good not to always be in a dominant posture.
inbama
@geoker:
“Bottom” in a gay relationship is always dominant.
They decide if and when you’re getting it, for how long, where you’re taking them for dinner, and how many rooms you have to paint first.
Xzamilloh
That’s one of the dumbest things this man has said… unless women are routinely taking it in the ass, a straight guy bottoming isn’t going to make him understand how women feel. Kick a woman in the cooter and see if it’s the same as a man getting kicked in the nuts. The fact of the matter is, we are different, and will feel things differently. Besides, men already should be getting penetrated once: during a prostate exam.
Xzamilloh
Never take advice from someone whose eyes practically sit on their nose.
Chris
Ford’s ignorance of bottoming as being passive, vulnerable, and invaded is breath taking. Clearly, this guy has never experienced what bottoming feels like when done well nor the control that bottoms can exert.
But even more stunning is his arrogance in pretending to say that anyone, other than a woman, can educate a man on what it feels like to be a woman in today’s society.
Mr. Ford, Antigone called; she wants her hubris back.
jdboston617
@geoker: Closer? Not really. That would only be true if the receiver wanted to bottom. But then they wouldn’t be a top. They would be verse. 😉
jdboston617
@inbama: LOL. I think the bottom is really just the gate keeper. Nothing to do with dominance. Would seem you are comparing apples to oranges.
dean089
This is an excellent example of why average gay people need to distance ourselves from these affluent, out-of-touch gays who present themselves as “leaders” and “spokespeople” to the mainstream community. We’re losing our jobs just for being gay. We’re losing our homes just for being gay. We’re being beaten up and killed in the streets, sometimes even in our own homes, just for being gay. Meanwhile, idiots like this say stupid things to the media that only inflame the anti-gay fires, simply because he wants to see his name in a headline.
BriBri
He’s nothing more than an uppity poofter.
The Tower of Power
@inbama: I disagree, many gay men have no desire to be a top or bottom. I’m 35, have never had anal sex, and won’t consent to it. I don’t find it an appealing activity, especially since area is associated with poo-poo.
whatsaywhat
Don’t get the appeal of Tom Ford’s brand… it’s all arrogant pretense uttered in a phony mid-Atlantic accent :/
jasentylar
I’m a bottom and I have never felt like a woman. Nor have I ever felt invaded. My asshole is not Iraq. WTF Dumb thing for him to say. Deeply offended. I love Tom Ford, but that was lacking….well, intelligence.
Iowa Rex
@jdboston617: Well said, indeed, but alas, I very much doubt he’s being misquoted. Obviously, he is a man of considerable talents but this is not the first time I’ve come across something he’s said that is at best ludicrous and at worst obtuse.
Iowa Rex
@Chris: Yes.
Kim K Kute Kuchie
Im sure people got fucked in the ass when they buy your overpriced stuff Tom. You’re still hot & I’ll do you any time
Brian
Tom’s views on heterosexual intercourse ignore the fact that women are receivers by nature. Their eggs sit in their bodies awaiting the release and entry of the male fertilizing agent. It’s not some great big conspiracy to oppress women.
Honestly, I sometimes think that rich queens have too much time on their hands. It gives them the opportunity to create misguided theories designed to portray women as victims of men.
Tobi
@The Tower of Power: “…especially since area is associated with poo-poo…”
Your other “area” is associated with “wee-wee”, does that stop you too?!
CaliKyle
@The Tower of Power: You’re like those straight guys who go off their wives after witnessing the birth of their child or refuse to go near her when she has her period. Sex is an intensely satisfying but potentially messy bodily function for everyone involved. Most of us have libidos that override immature squeamishness about the details. I mean, “poo-poo?” Seriously?
Daggerman
…it should be taught in schools as the long suffering fact that men have always been terrified of anal sex ‘especially’ if they’re heterosexual. For some ridiculous reason which (I blame religion) men have this deep psychological fear of being penetrated anally because they think it’s weak. And any man who has anal sex is pertaining to a woman. YES, it’s old fashion nonsense but the attitude still exists..
Paco
@Daggerman: That attitude has always existed. Even before Christianity, ancient cultures viewed the penetrated male as being of a lower social standing.
The Tower of Power
@CaliKyle: I wouldn’t have sex with a woman on her period either. It’s just a turn-off. Furthermore, I think it’s despicable to pressure people into doing sexual activities they aren’t interested in. It’s what sex predators do.
And no, urine is not a factor when condoms are used properly.
Aromaeus
This is extremely homophobic and sexist all at once.
Tobi
@The Tower of Power: “And no, urine is not a factor when condoms are used properly.”
In that case “poo-poo” isn’t a factor either, is it?!
salumbre
@inbama: ROFLMAO. That’s so true!
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I won’t vote for her. My conscious and sense of ethics won’t let me. I will be voting for Jill Stein. Even if Jill doesn’t win, if she gets 5% in the general election then the Federal Funding Commission will have to start supporting the Green Party financially, like they do the other two parties.
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