Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at email@example.com.
There was a really informative profile in this week’s The New York Observer that provided readers with insightful tidbits about Tommy Hilfiger’s 21-year-old son, Rich Hilfiger—a.k.a Rich Hil, the name he uses when he’s dropping phat beats as a hip-hop artist:
- He smokes American Spirits!
- He was born in 1990!
- He did two-months in a Utah rehab!
- He has a tattoo of a clown smoking a blunt on his shoulder!
- He has a Wheaten terrier!
- He was arrested in West Hollywood for turning tricks behind Denny’s, possession and intent to sell weed out of the trunk of his car.
- He loves G.I. Joe dolls!
- He has a prescription for Oxycontin
- He’s engaged to a 27-year-old DJ whose image he used to jerk off to as a kid!
- He’s “going to be a fucking rock star!”
Apparently acting like a “fucking rock star” is why Hil’s been banned from a number of New York recording studios. Observer writer Dan Duray, explains:
“At Downtown Studios, for example, he was blacklisted for breaking into their offices with his creative partner, Uncle Panther, and generally running amok. He peed in workers’ coffee cups, pushed over bookshelves, drew dicks everywhere and drizzled honey on keyboards, all of it captured on security tape that he wants to obtain for a music video.”
But the icing on the douchebag cake was a truly eloquent quote the young Hilfiger provided Mr. Duray, explaining what he actually got out of his court-ordered time in rehab:
“Yeah, I learned that alcohol and coke? Is kind of for faggots. You know, like, in my eyes. I’ll drink alcohol to get a lean, don’t get me wrong, but, like, something about the people who are addicted to alcohol and cocaine, they seemed like fags to me,” he said. “Not ‘fags’ as in ‘gay.’ I have nothing against gay people. Mad people in my family are gay.”
Wow, after reading that quote you’re probably very upset that you didn’t know what “get a lean” means. Don’t worry, we looked it up and found out it means “to get one’s buzz on.”
Maybe then you thought of how many times you’ve heard some asshole try to condition a homophobic statement with “I have nothing against gay people.”
Listen, we’re not even going to start slinging mud here and go for petty low blows about Daddy Hilfiger’s gay face or age-inappropriate twink haircut. We’re above that.
Nor are we going to wonder how someone who was raised by a man who’s worked with gay people throughout his career and who’s donated time and money to LGBT and HIV/AIDS causes would be so reckless with his choice of words.
No, instead we’re just going to take issue with this one stupid-ass homophobic “observation.” It’s a bit curious how Rich Hilfiger wouldn’t dare swap out “fags” with a slur for any racial minority groups in his quote. And maybe we can assume the mentally-challenged community is spared from being insulted by him here because “retarded” isn’t as “street” as the word “fag” is. The acknowledgment that “Mad people in my family are gay” is another stand-out gem from this excerpt. We get that we just announced Philip Levine as the next Poet Laureate of the United States but in the event he has to resign, the younger Hilfiger should be next in line.
Also, why the hell do the “faggots” get assigned alcohol and coke? That seems like a kind of unfair and random appropriation. Why not alcohol, coke and weed, or alcohol, coke, weed and mushrooms to really round out the party?
If this New York Observer profile makes you a “hater” of Rich Hilfiger, you have an actual invite to fellate him. Seriously. To all “y’all” hating, he says succinctly: “Fuck y’all, like, suck my dick. Literally.” That’s not gay. Not one bit.
All together now: “What a douche!”