In our beauty obsessed world, it’s no surprise that pretty people have had an easier go for no other reason than just how they look. Especially in the gay community, men often place extra attention on their appearance to get a leg up when the rest of the world has taught them that they’re already starting at a deficit.
If this seems like common knowledge, then why are attractive people so hesitant to publicly acknowledge their advantage? What’s more, how might their denial continue to be harmful to those who don’t benefit from pretty privilege?
In my latest video, I attempt to speak from my own experience of attractiveness to shed some light and hopefully help deflate some of its power. With great privilege comes great responsibility.
Check it out and let me know if you think I’m full of sh*t!
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Black Pegasus
Matthew , I gave this video 3 minutes until the eye inducing disgust consumed me. Can you please make a video devoid of the self congratulatory indulgence for once? Ugh
Scout
Totally agree with you!! His attempt to be charitable and understanding to others by accepting “Pretty Privilege” is some of the more pretentious gobblety-gook I’ve listened to.
Toofie
It’s a rough watch.
Tombear
I agree Black P. Matt your self indulgence is disgusting. I couldn’t get through the video. Looks don’t last but cooking and cleaning do!
Teddy Ready
Pretty is as Pretty does .. LOL .. Although there is nothing wrong with being noticed first, what is really wrong is when after getting noticed, the inside starts to reveal otherwise quickly. LOL
Rakkaus
A grey-haired mediocre-looking middle-aged narcissist going on for 6 minutes & 32 seconds about how “pretty” he thinks he is to try to shore up his own self-esteem due to clear insecurity issues? Yuck.
Vince
Looks like frosted tips to me. He definitely spends allot of time perfecting his hair though.
I don’t know how old he is but on his facebook and twitter he surrounds himself with mostly cute twenty something friends. That and a million selfies with captions like this….”@MJDempseyPsych I just passed by the mirror and thought OMG I looked pretty cute tbh.”
JamJewel
Rakkaus: You raise a point that I have observed in my many years as an old fogie – that many attractive men lack self-esteem and don’t have what the self-confidence to make contact in social settings and therefore often remain single.
shamrockinked
This is nothing new! There has always been the “pretty” ones. This video just seems to confirm his narcissism.
Chrisk
I don’t know if you can conflate narcissism with honesty though. He is very pretty and that’s a fact and everything he said was true. To be young and pretty in the gay community gets you undeniable privileges.
Chrisk
I guess what I’m saying is that I have to know more.Is he modest and humble or is he exactly what you would expect?
Chrisk
I know he’s easy to hate because he does sum up the word “pretty privilege” to a tee but at least he’s not denying it. I appreciate his honesty.
However, as a therapist I could never understand how he could possibly relate since he’s never had much in the way of rejection in his life. Of course what do I know. Haha
MaxTaste
I’m not sure why anyone would say he’s not attractive. He is very attractive.
It’s nice that he’s willing to honestly discuss what is a true privilege.
As to calling him unattractive or denying the existence of pretty privilege, maybe gay people have just become so bitter by discrimination that they can’t admit to their own discrimination against those of us who are unattractive.
Paco
He looks like your standard model of gay man. The over-primped salon styled hair and manicured beard combo are pretty typical, and unoriginal, with gay men nowadays. If everyone is doing the same thing, then that would make them average in my book.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
There is such a thing as “pretty privileged” I have been a bartender at a major NYC Gay bar and and enjoyed the perks. However one should be humble about it, and treat everyone as you would like to be treated. Keep your mouth shut and don’t produce a video which one is bragging about it. And this guy is nothing but average looking at best. Go into any Gay bar and he would blend into the crowd and not stand out in ANY WAY …
Dean0419
Let them eat cake!
Does anyone buy the bullshit coming out of this guy’s mouth?
Did I understand him correctly? Somehow when”privileged pretty” do something altruistic that should somehow make us less attractive people feel less bad about ourselves? What kind d of a therapist is he? I am glad I went to o e who didn’t have “pretty privilege”.
I have been reading this email “magazine” for as long as I can remember and I have never felt the need to write in before. I was so outraged by this piece that I couldn’t help myself. I am not part of the “pretty privileged” and I find hos comments outrageous and offensive.
baal61
Does her hair stay the same in a cum face?
KevInSD
Not this guy again! Why does he keep getting coverage here? Does he pay for these posts?
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
She is DEFINITELY pretty!
Pretty unattractive
Pretty delusional
Pretty undesirable
Pretty annoying
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
There is such a thing as “pretty privileged” I have been a bartender at a major NYC Gay bar and and enjoyed the perks. However one should be humble about it, and treat everyone as you would like to be treated. Keep your mouth shut and don’t produce a video which one is bragging about it. And this guy is nothing but average looking at best. Go into any Gay bar and he would blend into the crowd and not stand out in ANY WAY …
winemaker
Isn’t this interesting. I live in San francisco and unfortunately ta lot of the gay men here are as rude and nasty if you’re not ‘pretty’. or don’t meet their ‘standards’ I don’t mean to be negative but it’s gotten to be a joke and sad that a lot of men don’t want to get to know you if you’re not ‘pretty’, or hot or whatever the newest fad is. It’s gotten to the point with me that I don’t go out at night anymore due to rude flaky men, high prices and attitude. It wasn’t like this years ago, the men here were friendly and easy to talk to and get to know, now, not so much, sad to say!
ShinzonZetiAlpha5
Looks matter. Period. There’s no denying it and no amount of screaming and shouting is going to change men’s biology. In my opinion, the best we can do is make ourselves as appealing as we can inside and out. I just watched an inspirational video where a guy turned a horrible incident on Grindr into a life-changing event for the better!
ShinzonZetiAlpha5
Oh here’s the video in case you want to see it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUKH3yNLPi0&t=37s
dubstepskater94
Not going to lie… I get a lot of attention @ clubs/parties because of my looks because women has done it for years, so why can’t some 23 y/o gay twink do it… If it means I get attention and gifts, what’s the harm in that. BUT I don’t make other people feel bad about not being blessed (or I hope I don’t). And this guy is cute-if you like those daddy types… just not my cup of T.
Chrisk
Why do you show a stock photo and not yourself though? Show us your hot self. Lol
drelocks15
Hmm…I can’t tell if you’re naïve, don’t understand or….never mind. But thanks for telling us that people STILL MATTER if they aren’t “Blessed” with good looks or get a lot of attention at clubs or parties. #goals
Raphael
Poor guy, he can’t win. At the other article, people were saying how much he’s full of himself, that he was a hypocrite and so on. Now that he’s admitting it, he still gets a lot of crap… Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like him and have said it before, but let’s give him a break, at least he’s being honest this time.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
As I said up above, if you are lucky in the looks department. Be humble and pay it forward being nice to others. Don’t pontificate about pretty privilege, especially when you are an average looking guy as this asshat has done…
plrodriguez
I really don’t take kindly to thirst traps, or people who post seeking attention using their bodies and/or disengenuinely discuss caring about issues when their lives are really about them (eg take a look at his insta feed). i mean, do your thing, but let’s not pretend:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BlgV-qggZtF/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=me5hi2wbcrvt
https://www.instagram.com/p/BjKnitInNqG/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1gdwwnmoi0vqb
S p a r e … me
nitejonboy
I refuse to watch this video. I don’t give a shit if you’re pretty or not. I treat people the way they deserve to be treated. If you can’t do that, then you’re an asshole and I have no time for you.
surreal33
BOY BYE!!! Please have a seat.
Josh447
Unless you’re an extrovert, pretty isn’t an asset. Getting hit on alot can be tres annoying especially when you don’t like it and get rebuffed if you don’t comply.
talktalktalk
this guy is average looking at best, yet clearly believes he’s all that. Laughable
Virpilosus
It’s just nice to be nice. I enjoy engaging people everywhere, and my simple reward is the knowledge I’m trying to help make the world I live in a bit of a better place. My looks don’t do it, my attitude does!
davidf73
It is definitely a thing, I don’t see how or why it needs to change. I have noticed many ‘pretty boy’ types lack confidence and perhaps to some degree that could be due to the way people act around them, causing them to be defensive. I’m not excusing bad behavior but having lots of guys wanting to sleep with you sounds like a problem every ‘average gay’ wants, but there is always the creeps and stalkers to deal with and if your a pretty gay and not physically imposing, it can get pretty scary and can make long term behavioral problems occur. Having said that, always remember, no matter how hot they look, it is you validating them by ogling them, so nothing makes them more powerless than being ignored.
davidf73
Natural selection, the instinct of human beings to select potential lovers by looking for the healthiest looking potential mate, which translates in the gay world to looking for attractive fit looking people. It is actually instinctive to desire those who have characteristics like ourselves or those of which have the characteristics we percieve we lack. Attraction can’t be reduced to a ‘social justice’ issue and those who try like the gay media seems intent on doing, need to stop because people will before long become hostile to legitimate calls for social justice measures. Again, if you give privilege to a pretty person it is you not them who are empowering them so any complaints need to be seen through that lense