Though there has been a fair amount of speculation, and many a furtive wet dream, leading up to this moment, Olympic diving twunk (twink + hunk) Tom Daley has come out.
In a video he posted to his YouTube today, Daley admits he’s only been willing to talk about things with which he’s comfortable. Now that he’s in a serious relationship, having met and fallen for a guy recently, he’s been able to take a figurative dive by publicly acknowledging his sexuality for the first time.
“Now I kind of feel ready to talk about my relationships,” Daley says. “Come spring this year, my life changed. Massively. When I met someone. And it made me feel so happy. So safe. And everything just feels so great. Well, that someone is a guy.”
Daley says he was “taken by surprise” by his new relationship, and though he still “fancies” girls, he says he couldn’t be happier.
Maybe that’s what that clandestine coffee canoodling with Dustin Lance Black was about back in October. Perhaps he was seeking coming-out advice. Or maybe there was something more. Either way, mazel! Welcome to the family, Tom. In celebration, here’s a gif that never gets old:
Congrats!
2eo
This could well be the least surprising news story in the history of the universe.
Harley
This is just like when Ricky Martin came out. Everyone is going “well, duh!”
Jonty Coppersmith
Taken by surprise,really? Anyway, credit where credit is due Tom.
middleagespread
With so many posts here, I thought he was out already. I maybe even more shocked if the sun rises in the east this morning.
MrsPatrickCampbell
Welcome to the Hershey Highway, Gurllllllllll!
avesraggiana
“I still fancy girls…” That’s what I said when I first came out. I held on to that little lie too, for about five minutes.
jimbryant
Yay, I’m glad Tom has come out as still being into girls. It proves that he’s not falling for the political trap of the gay rights movement – ie that men are to be applauded if they come out as “gay” but women are to be applauded if they come out as “bi”, even if it’s fake-bi.
It’s refreshing to see a man like this, really.
Tom’s bisexuality also contrasts with the fake bisexuality of women. If a man comes out as bi, you can be sure that he is being genuine about it. If a woman comes out as bi, you can be sure she is doing it for attention and for a reward from a straight guy.
jimbryant
American liberals are very afraid of male bisexuality. The only type of bisexuality they support is female bisexuality. They have been doing this through the adult movie industry for years.
American liberals’ support for female bisexuality – but not male bisexuality – now extends to the music industry where popular female singers are applauded and rewarded for saying they are bisexual, even if it’s a fake bisexuality.
Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry…all these straight women have used lesbianism as a marketing ploy, and they’ve been rewarded for it. There is no comparable tolerance and acceptance shown towards male performers.
jimbryant
avesraggiana,
Just because you had that experience, it doesn’t mean Tom Daly is going to have the same experience.
Cam
@jimbryant:
Jim, This is why so many people don’t believe actual bisexuals when they come out. Because people like you pounce on the fact that a HUGE majority of gay guys claim bisexuality as a stepping stone to coming out.
Since most gays recognize that step for what it is, bisexuals desperation to try to claim that as proof that the person is bi makes many gays think that all bi’s are lying. This combined with the typical female celeb coming out as “Bi” after she is in a serious relationship with a man or even married to one is actually bad for the bisexual community.
Now THAT said, I would like to reference a previous post on this guy where people came in screaming and insulting any poster who DARED say that he might be gay. Let me be the first to tell you that you are all just as stupid as the former fans of Clay Aiken.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
@jimbryant: “If a man comes out as bi, you can be sure that he is being genuine about it.”
Lo0o0o0oL!!
Oh, wait! You’re not known for your (intentional) humour.
Oh, dear.
O_o
damienbasile
This is great! I’m glad more visible celebrity men are coming out as bisexual. Bisexuals definitely need more visibility, as there’s still a lot of people out there that can’t fathom someone liking both sexes at the same time.
Cagnazzo82
There are many more like him. Except not in the diving community… but rather hollywood actors hiding behind the glass closet 🙂
jimbryant
Cam,
You are exaggerating the importance of male homosexuality. Male homosexuality isn’t a journey. In other words, it is not something that lies at the end of this mythical yellow-brick road near a rainbow. Yes, there IS a journey. But the journey is in DE-SHAMING the male homosexual interaction.
From a primeval viewpoint, male heterosexuality is superior to male homosexuality because the former leads to reproduction whereas the latter doesn’t. So please don’t try to elevate male homosexuality to this superior plain.
What particularly irritates me about gay men is they are so quick to dismiss other men who are genuinely bisexual while at the same time screaming “don’t judge me, don’t judge me”.
the other Greg
@jimbryant: “From a primeval viewpoint…”
That’s an interesting adjective for you to use to describe your viewpoint.
Other good words would be primitive, antediluvian, antiquated, Neanderthal (well, maybe that’s politically incorrect and unfair to Neanderthals).
I do hope you have not reproduced, though.
the other Greg
@jimbryant: It’s hilarious that you spend 95% of your time here writing about how icky women are, but suddenly, out of the blue, you declare that male heterosexuality is “superior” to male homosexuality!
Raphael
Please, he did not fool no one before, even less now. This whole story of “took me by surprise”, “I still fancy girls”, c’mon…. That way he can continue dating guys and yet be seen in a more “acceptable” way… Anyway Tom, don’t worry, we will pretend to believe.
Dev.C
Stop the Madness, I never thought he would admit it., It was a matter of time before a guy gave him what he needed.
Cam
@jimbryant:
Jim, I hate to be the one to explain this to you but here it goes.
You don’t get to respond to a comment I didn’t make and then pretend that your posting was relevant or on point.
I stated quite clearly that as a step towards coming out huge numbers of gay men claim to be bisexual at first as a first step out of the closet and that we can recognize that step when others do it.
Your posting had nothing to do with my post obviously because you had no response to my actual comment.
Sorry your opinion was so easy to disprove that you had to attempt so obvious a deflection. Perhaps that means you should rethink.
orcanyc
Congratulations!
iMort
I have great admiration for his diving talent!
Kathukid
Not much of a surprise. He said it came as a “little bit of a surprise” to him, but he always knew in the back of his mind it was possible. He is too cute to be straight.
mgmchicago
Aw shucks – I couldn’t be happier for this guy.
Such a beautiful and talented young man – he deserves to live an honest and happy life.
And selfishly (although I will certainly never meet him) I am SO glad that he is on our team.
Regarding the bisexual debate – the guy is only 19 and has spent most of his life training.
Give him a little time to experience adult life – he will figure it out himself soon enough.
DuMaurier
@mgmchicago: Had to skim through a lot of junk to get to your sensible, generous post. I wonder if any of the other posters using this guy as a springboard to their pre-fabricated socio-political wrangling have any awareness that there is a real live person involved. A person who is, as you say, very very young, not to mention someone none of them know personally.
alphang
…to the surprise of nobody. (Not to me at least).
CherylTHardin
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sportyguy1983
And I should care about his or any other celebrity’s private life why?
Charlie in Charge
*high five*
gaymaniac
Wow…..what a shocking news!!! Who would have thought? It is totaly unexpected.
Niall
Congrats to him, but I get the feeling like Mika who first came out as bi a few years back, then adjusted to gay sometime later, Tom is probably a 100% gay, but that’s just my irrelevant opinion/feeling
Kieran
One famous Olympic athlete like Tom Daley coming out is worth more than all of the worthless, anonymous trolls who turn up here whenever somebody famous comes out to share their usual “ha ha, I already knew, hah hah”.
Pistolo
@Cam: Yeah, I mean honestly it does somewhat seem like he’s more gay. But I understand his reticence because he’s only 19, he just told his family, his personal struggles have been strongly highlighted with regards to the loss of his father, and he’s this huge athletic/celebrity commodity.
I know a lot of guys who came out but left a little “But I still might like girls!” disclaimer along with it. Hell, I somewhat did that myself. I feel like it can be a failsafe in some ways. Not to say if he is bisexual that he shouldn’t acknowledge it.
He is good friends with Liam Payne though, I wanna see that sex tape….
ChiChi Man
So much ridiculous bitterness on this thread. Maybe because you guys are spent and washed up, unlike Tom Daley who’s life is ahead of him.
Celebrity or not, the kid is 19! I didn’t have the strength to come out until I was 21 and I certainly wouldn’t have had the stones to do it on Youtube in front of millions of people.
Congratulations to the young man. Shame on the old trolls.
mlbumiller
Everyone’s journey is their own. Keep your judgment to yourself. If you cannot be supportive, then you are just a road block.
DShucking
@DuMaurier: The comments prior to his are hardly mean and negative toward Daley. If you’re looking for bitter and jaded you needn’t wait long but you’ll cut down on your wait time if you look in the mirror.
DShucking
@sportyguy1983: Please, dismount from that horse, Mary. You registered to post comments on Queerty yet slight others for their interest in frivolity. LOL
DShucking
@mlbumiller: Keep your judgement to yourself.
michaelmt1009
Good for you. It takes courage to do this so publicly and you should be proud of yourself. Always stay in control of your life. Best wishes
hanfrina
… ConGRATS. But, never-HEARD-of HIM!?! LOL!!!
crowebobby
The very real emotion coming from his face and his voice has carried me back to the first time I told an adult whose opinion I valued: “I think I may be queer.” It was 1953 and though I had admitted it to myself, joked about it with straight friends, and never pretended more interest in girls than I actually felt, saying the words OUT LOUD turned me into a blubbering mess.
I think those of us who have been out for years and see how much more acceptance there is now than when we were young imagine it must be a piece of cake for this generation to come out. But gay kids are still bombarded with negative messages from the day they are born. Even acceptance is usually delivered with large dollop of derision. “Aren’t they hilarious.”
This was obviously very difficult for Tom and has touched me deeply. He has all my respect and wishes for a happy, fulfilled life. I hope one day it really “won’t matter.”
Rockery
“Still fancies girls”??
– LOL JUST STOP IT!
viveutvivas
Enough of this circus. So some D-list celebrity I’ve never heard of now dates a guy. Guys date guys every day. Are we so unsure of ourselves that we should fawn like this over every halfway decent looking celebrity who comes out (which, by the way, it seems to me he is still hedging about – he’s like heaven forbid he should be mistaken for gay!)
Sebizzar
@middleagespread: I seriously did think so too lol, I thought he was already out and about even during the Olympics.
crowebobby
@crowebobby: P.S. I was 16.
jimbryant
I would say that half of the gay-identifying men I meet in gay bars are also into women. Their heterosexuality remains closeted within the confines of the gay bar because it is not PC to say that you are anything other than attracted to men at all times.
hotshot70
Another example of news thateveryone already knew. I have news: water is wet, fire is hot, and orgasms feel amazing! I better write an article!
viveutvivas
@jimbryant, I don’t know what the relevance of your comment is here, but I have to say you must go to some weird-ass gay bars if that is your experience. As for my experience, bi guys usually can’t keep themselves from bragging that they are also into girls.
ba12
A lot of these comments are disheartening. Yes, a lot of gay and lesbian people call themselves “bi” before revising the label when they feel more comfortable identifying at gay. Being bi can seem safer/less drastic or whatever. But since we don’t know who is using the the label as a transition and who is genuinely bi, we should take it at face value until told otherwise. Because this invisibility that is created when no one believes bi folks when they come out? One of the reasons that being bi is not, in actuality, safer.
Bi people have higher rates of suicide, poverty, sexual abuse, and all sorts of nasty stuff than even gays and lesbians do. Partly because we are often erased by the LG”B”T community we are supposed to find safety in. So even if we often happen to be right in guessing that someone will later go on to identify as gay, we should try to refrain from voicing assumptions that lock bi folks (who make up at least 50% of the community, btw) in the closet.
jimbryant
I appreciate Tom Daly. In fact, I appreciate the genuine sexuality of men, a sexuality which contrasts with the fake sexuality of women.
Women use sex as a means to an end. This means they fake it. In contrast, men see sex as an end in itself. There is no faking involved. In fact, it is impossible for a man to fake it.
seaguy
Glad he is on our team. Who cares what all the jealous bitchy old queens have to say!
Jon
I pray that he’s got friends and family who are being supportive. Coming out via video across the internet….. I cannot fathom that at all. Very brave on his part.
jimbryant
The other thing we need to remember is that Tom did not use the word “bisexual” to describe himself. I can partly understand his reluctance.
“Bisexual” is such a sweeping word, it fails to recognize the remarkable differences between men who are mainly attracted to women and men who are mainly attracted to men.
There is a remarkable difference in psychology between these two groups of bisexual men. The word “bisexual” fails to account for these differences, and is inadequate.
dougmc92
Martina first came out as bi- more to soften the blow- I think Tom- like Martina, will be fully gay within 2-3 years….Hard to join the Pride Parade for him after listening to him deny it (google Tom Daley denies being gay- you get PAGES) the last 2 years- I’d be happier for him if he hadn’t felt the need to lie.
mlbumiller
@dougmc92: He is only 19, cut him some slack not wanting people to put a label on him that he was not ready for. How old were you when you came out? Did you have the public watching and speculating about you?
Dxley
And here I am thinking the only thing he ever goes down on is the pool when he dives
jimbryant
Stay away from the gay bar scene, Tom. The gay bar scene is built on a sex act. Drug use is common. Men who go to gay bars often follow up with a visit to the local sex club where they meet anonymous men for promiscuous sex. No wonder STD’s get spread.
Also, the entertainment at gay bars is awful. Do you really want to spend Sunday night watching fat hairy men singing poor Karaoke and then get applauded for it by talent-starved queens?
DuMaurier
@DShucking: My post actually didn’t accuse anyone of being “mean and negative toward Daley” (although I think the “well, duh” comments as well as the judgments regarding Daley saying he still “fancies girls” are at least semi-bitchy); my point was really about how quickly the human aspect gets lost with people using the story as no more than an excuse to trot out their opposing, snarling opinions we’ve seen here a million times before.
jimbryant
Another piece of advice to Tom Daley: stay away from the gay concept. Gay men will try to own you and they will then try to destroy you. It’s how they operate. Then they move onto their next target, owning and destroying as they go along.
Why do gay men like to own and then destroy? It enables them to keep playing the victim card.
Just look at what gay men did to the careers of George Michael and Ricki Martin.
pauleky
@jimbryant: What color is the sky in your world?
yaletownman
Aren’t we all somewhere on the continuum? From a spiritual perspective bi-anything is the ultimate because it means the duality consciousness has been transcended. I’m not there yet but I’ve had my glimmers. One day there will no longer be an “either/or”. One day we will fall in love with a person because of what’s inside and the genitalia won’t matter.
Jon
I had no idea that horrible things that would flood (?) the internet since Tom posted his video this morning. If there is any decency, keeping in mind that he is just 19 years old, he will be able to disregard the negativity that some feel the need to spew. There are just too many pieces of ____ in the world, having no sense of letting others be happy without doing what they can to degradatory.
Jon
@Jon:
…degrading.
Not degradatory. Auto-correct stinks at times.
pauleky
@jimbryant: Seriously – you’re a satirist, right? You truly cannot believe the crap you’re spewing. People who think certainly can’t.
jimbryant
The thing that scares a lot of gay men is that Tom Daley might go back to a woman. It would prick your political bubbles as gay men.
It would also prove that there is no truth to the adage that “once you go gay, you never want to return to puss-ay”. It would destroy the notion that male homosexuality is superior to male heterosexuality.
It scares you, doesn’t it?
Dxley
@jimbryant: Are you sure you aren’t clinically insane? You, my friend, are a stupid fuck. You went around, got fucked, got dumped and you make claims that ALL gay men are like that? Maybe you’re the problem — you keep dating the men of the same type and it just turns you on. No single day passes without all your HOMOPHOBIC comments. A*SHOLE!!!!!!
Teleny
@jimbryant: I would say your post perfectly describes the Right wing “conservative” Bible thumpers who secretly download girl on girl or trans videos, but publicly hate lbgt people.
Dxley
Is this @jimbryant: idiot even a gay guy or he’s just here to troll?
the other Greg
@jimbryant: Why don’t YOU go back with a woman? You don’t seem very happy in the gay world, and you say male heterosexuality is superior. Maybe heterosexuality is best for you, even though you’re sure that “all women are faking it”! (Weird how that works. Kind of like a “Seinfeld” parody.)
After that, you could quit posting on gay blogs for several hours every single day?
jimbryant
Dxley,
Actually, I have 24 years experience on the gay scene. I know what it’s like. Everything I say is the truth.
Of course, not every single gay man follows the stereotype. But many do. Gay culture is marketed along stereotypes. Don’t deny it.
Dxley
@jimbryant: Grandpa, you’re insane!!! and what about straight culture? nothing seems to be different but I don’t see your ass complaining.
dougmc92
@mlbumiller: I have seen some gay site posts about me- I model….
jimbryant
Dxley,
Sweetie, clear your brain of the fog. It will enable you to see things more clearly. Gay male culture is ultimately about ownership and destruction.
the other Greg
@jimbryant: “Jim,” you have bragged in other threads about how monogamous you are (in the course of lecturing the entire gay world that we should do the same), so why would you even be going to gay bars so much? Just to discuss the awfulness of gay life with all the “bisexual” guys you meet there? And how do you know so much about gay “culture” anyway? Shouldn’t you be staying home watching football or something?
mlbumiller
@dougmc92: so what is your point? you didnt answer the question. a few gay sites do not think it compairs to world media.
Camsean01
All hail Tom Daley, all hail Tom Daley! Seriously well done Tom. The world is a better place because you have the strenght to come out.
Dxley
@jimbryant: If that’s how you view it, but really nobody cares about your old and tired opinions.
tardis
Coming out as bisexual is never easy, especially because you constantly have to have that “talk” with every love interest you have. Good for him. I didn’t think he was LGBT, but good for him!
drivendervish
I thought Tom was gay pretty much the first time I saw him, just something about him that gave my gaydar a hardon. However, I didn’t think he would come out so soon, I thought he would wait until he was able to take advantage of his fame by moving into acting and modeling because yes he is that pretty. I am really proud of him coming out and being so honest about his realization which sounded to me very much like my own experience. I agree with the rest of you on two things, Tom will never see a pussy again and Jim Bryant doesn’t have a clue!
AnitaMann
Never heard of him. And don’t care. I have socks older than this child.
David6
Congratulations to Tom. Coming out is not easy for many of us but it just has to be harder for a 19 year old celebrity like Tom who is constantly in the public eye. Well done!
jimbryant
One reason why a lot of gay guys resent male bisexuality is because it proves that a man can go back to dating women after dating men. It offends your sense of superiority as gay men.
newecreator
Need more bisexuals like this guy!
newecreator
@jimbryant: Ikr?
Blake
Um…. People, he never said he was bi, nor does what he say imply bisexuality either. He is only attracted to ONE guy, he is bscailly a straight guy who made an exception, it is WAAAY different than bi. There are other sexualities other than gay straight and bi ya know.
If anything he’s hetero flexible.@jimbryant: Not all men.@jimbryant: WRONG!!!
Zodinsbrother
To those who say why does this matter, well the level of homophobic abuse he suffered over the last couple of years show why it matters. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-19095923
To those who say why is Queerty bothering to cover this, well this in a LGBT entertainment site. Why wouldn’t it cover it when it covers all sorts of things.
To those who say “Who”, well who is anyone. Everyone matters and especially open Olympians if we are concerned about raising the self esteem of LGBT youth.
To those who say “We all knew” well that doesn’t stop dozens of others from staying closeted all their lives.
In the end this is a 19yo lad, many people don’t even know their sexuality at that age. He’s suffered years of innuendo and vile homophobic abuse. And despite a life overshadowed by personal tragedy he’s managed to achieve great things, remain grounded and engage with the world through social media without being deflected by some pretty vile attacks.
I applaud him.
Ferryboi
Good for him, and good for us. Not only is he adorable as hell, but he seems like a genuinely nice guy with a great future. Considering the usual rabble we have as ambassadors to the world at large, I’ll take Tom any day of the week.
Good luck kid, and many happy years of love and friendship with whoever you end up with.
Ferryboi
@AnitaMann: A bitter old queen with 20 year old socks? Gee, the boys must be chasing you around the steam room like nobody’s business.
AnitaMann
@Ferryboi: What’s bitter about admitting that I’m not interested in 19 year olds? Honey, I’m way too old for their nonsense. That’s called being normal. Let me guess. You’re one of those pathetic 50 year old perverts who chases 19 year olds. Creep.
Ferryboi
@AnitaMann: You don’t have to be interested to understand what a young man’s coming-out process is like. It’s called “empathy” and is something you clearly don’t have. Another bitchy queen who hates everyone that isn’t her, how totally unoriginal.
stfallon1028
Christmas came early this year. Congratulations Tom!
mz.sam
DICKS over CHICKS…Yay! You rock that Oscar hard, Tommy boy!