New York State Sen. Carl Kruger, the man ass-loving completely straight lawmaker who’s trying to ban texting while walking, turned himself into the FBI to face charges of accepting bribes for his campaign in exchange for political favors to hospitals, developers and lobbyists. (Assemblyman William Boyland also turned himself in on similar allegations.) Not helping things: A Brooklyn restaurant owner last week admitted to attempting to Bribe Kruger to get a passable health inspection at his venue.

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