In the most recent episode of the Facebook web series Red Table Talk, 18-year-old Willow Smith, the daughter of actors Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith, came out as bisexual. Her mother also admitted that she and her husband are in a non-sexual throuple with another woman.
In the series, members of the Smith family and guests discuss “controversial topics.” The latest episode was entitled “Unconventional Relationships: Can Multiple Partners Work?” While discussing the topic, Willow told her mother Jada and her grandmother Adrienne:
“I love men and women equally, and so I would definitely want one man, one woman. I feel like I could be polyfidelitous with those two people.
I’m not the kind of person that is constantly looking for new sexual experiences. I focus a lot on the emotional connection and I feel like if I were to find two people of different genders that I really connected with and we had a romantic and sexual connection, I don’t feel like I would feel the need to try to go find more.”
What’s cool is that Jada responded to the news by admitting that her stomach jumped a bit, and added, “Listen, you know me Willow: whatever makes you happy.”
Jada also said that she and Will have been involved for years in a non-sexual throuple with Will’s ex-wife, Sheree Zampino.
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Related: Mr. Rogers was apparently bisexual, and Twitter is loving it
Perhaps we should’ve seen this coming as Willow’s 2013 music video, “Summer Fling,” gave us some bi vibes. The video showed her pining after a boy and also featured a brief shot of a female same-sex couple holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes.
Meanwhile her brother, Jaden, has been openly flirting with queerness for years. In 2016, he kissed a man in the Netflix series The Get Down and regularly enjoys wearing genderqueer fashions.
Black Pegasus
I wish Willow all the best. She seems to be the most level-headed of the two siblings. I don’t have any comment on her sexuality because it doesn’t matter.
poundmetoo
Levelheaded? Her hair style begs to differ!
Brian
Braids?
Doug
I think her hair looks great!!
poundmetoo
IE she’s queer like everyone else in that family!
Brian
The only surprising part of this is that she would choose a label as mundane as bisexual. But since she didn’t actually say the word, I won’t be surprised if she comes out and labels herself as 3 or 4 other more specific sexual identities, that all mean bisexual. After all, the Smith kids are the specialest snowflakes to ever fall from the sky.
Charlie in Charge
I mean… I feel the difference between bisexual and pansexual is rather fine but I also don’t understand LGBT folks telling the next generation that their identities don’t make any sense to us when we fought so hard for the world to understand that our identities were fine and lovely and we didn’t need their approval.
Brian
But they don’t make sense. There are only so many combinations you can have, you’re either attracted to men, women, both, or neither. We really don’t need 25 different ways to describe that.
Donston
Folks tend to go with “pan” to reflect trans people and individuals who are non-binary identifying. However, many folks who are into trans people or into people who may see themselves as non-binary often still identify as straight, gay or bi. That’s why you should just be cool with whatever someone wants to brand themselves and keep it pushing. There’s no purpose in trying to dictate anyone’s sense of self or identity. And no, Willow didn’t embrace a bi identity during this interview. Claiming to love men and women equally and seeing yourself in a legit commitment with either a man or woman is about as bi as you get (from some people’s perspective). But she still didn’t really say she was bi. However, this site feels it’s very important to promote “labels” so they tagged her as bi anyways.
Brian
But how a person self identifies has nothing to do with attraction to other people. Just because Asia Kate Dillon identifies as non binary doesn’t mean I suddenly might be attracted to her because she doesn’t call herself a woman. She’s still a biological female, and looks like a female, and as a gay man, that doesn’t attract me.
Donston
Well, to some people these things do matter. Everyone seems to have their own ideas concerning gender, sexuality, orientation and identity. Also, we don’t even know what Willow’s attractions or sexual preferences are. She may not be “bisexual” in the traditional and clinical sense. Saying you have equal love for men and women and could see yourself in a legit relationship with a man or woman doesn’t really speak on the sexual part of your orientation. That’s why instead of getting frustrated with the contradictions and inconsistencies and with people not aligning the way you want them to, it’s best to just let folks do what they do and embrace whatever.
The ultimate goal is not about identity. It’s about freedom, honesty, self-understanding, self-comfort, self-love and being with/loving whoever you want to be with and love. Anyone who is still hyper focusing on everyone else’s identity is kinda missing the point, and focusing primary on that will only leave you frustrated and confused. Also, she’s still a teenager. It’s best to just let young people, who are just doing their thing and “finding themselves”, live freely. Trying to get them overly caught up in identity and social politics is misguided.
Kangol2
@Brian, you write, “But how a person self identifies has nothing to do with attraction to other people. Just because Asia Kate Dillon identifies as non binary doesn’t mean I suddenly might be attracted to her because she doesn’t call herself a woman. She’s still a biological female, and looks like a female, and as a gay man, that doesn’t attract me.”
But is this true. If she identifies as “pansexual,” she may mean she’s open to all–“pan”–types of people, ranging across genders and sexualities. A gay or bi man may NOT be into a trans man or woman or non-binary person, but a pansexual man or person might. Do you see how that works? And how someone else defines themselves may have no bearing on who you are attracted to.
On the one hand, I appreciate that you are essentially saying that a cis or trans person could be either gender–male, female–as opposed to misgendering trans people, as often happens on here, but on the other hand, it sounds as if you are not fully grasping what “pansexuality” would mean. It is different than bisexuality, though at times they may converge.
Donston
The confusion comes from the fact that many people who are probably closer to “pan” still go with bi. While people who are into trans folks to whatever degree still often refer to themselves as straight or gay. Just like many people who are not hetero or homo refer to themselves as straight or gay. And “fluid” is taking over, despite it describing the consistency of someone’s orientation rather than the nature of someone’s orientation, preferences and relationship ambitions. So, it barely even works as an identity. Ultimately, it’s best to just let people be. And once again, Willow is a teenager and she hasn’t embrace any particular identity.
Brian
They might not be, but they also might be. Off the top of my head, I know of a gay actor, Nico Santos from Superstore, who is in a relationship with a trans man, Zeke from Survivor.
I don’t see that as a separate sexuality, ultimately it’s still just choosing between men and women. Trans would definitely be a dealbreaker for a lot of people, but so would fat, blind, amputee, race, financial status, or any number of things that makes sometime different than the ideal of what you’re looking for.
And I think there are plenty of self proclaimed pansexuals who, if it came down to it, wouldn’t be able to deal with a man with a vagina or a woman with a penis any better than anybody else. For your average person it’s going to be an issue.
Donston
There does seem to be some people who embrace certain “queer” identities for the sake of politics or to come off as “open-minded” as possible. However, no matter where you fit on the overall spectrum or what your lifestyle is coming out, who you sexually engage with, who you have relationships with, what identities you do or don’t embrace- there is some degree of choice to all of this. And there always has been.
Donston
Also, you seem to be trying to come up with any way to dismiss anything that doesn’t fit into the straight-gay-bi triangle. But you also don’t seem to realize that you have your own specific view of orientation, sexuality, gender and identity that contradicts many others and would be divisive among some people. I used to be caught up in defining identities, pushing identities, and pushing certain constricting philosophies. But I realized that doing so only leads to more rebellion, bitterness, manipulation, dishonesty, hate, segregation, etc. It simply doesn’t help anybody, and it usually doesn’t promote honest, friendly and productive conversation. While assisting one another is what we should be about. Otherwise, we’re just pushing social, identity and sexual politics, which is what too many focus on.
Brian
What I’m saying is just because a small minority of people decided that the world needed dozens of gender and sexual identities, doesn’t mean that poof, there are 20 genders instead of 2. Yeah, I think it’s ridiculous and I’d imagine that the vast majority of people feel the same way. And no, I don’t think the distinction between bisexual and pansexual (which, BTW, is not in my computer’s dictionary) is anything more than people trying to make themselves sound more exotic than they are.
Randomly adding these things into the English language, and then condemning those who don’t jump on board or use them properly doesn’t promote honest, friendly and productive conversation either. Those of us who don’t buy into it have as much right not to as those who do, do.
Rex Huskey
yawn