Hold on to your hats, ladies and gents, because it's time for some good old fashioned Trolling Tuesday!

This week brings us all sorts of Craigslist madness. Like what? Like this straight-forward offering: "use my mouth like you would your toilet." It's almost poetic in its simplicity.

Get an even more ickier taste of gnarliness, after the jump.

Oh, and as you can imagine, the language ain't safe for work. Or anyone with a weak tum-tum. Don't worry, though, we didn't attach any of the pictures we came across. Even we're not that cruel.

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After many, many weeks and even more whiny reader letters, we've decided to revive our short-lived Tuesday feature, Trolling Tuesday!

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It's Tuesday, readers. You know what that means. It's Trolling Tuesday time! Hooray!

In honor of Senator Larry Craig's recent arrest and guilty plea for lewd conduct in the Minneapolis airport, we've dedicated this week's installment to sexverts soliciting in or near the airport.

Minneapolis be poppin', after the jump!

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• Mark Simpson thinks The Sun's totally into lifting shirts, sticking dick in bum.

• Sergeant demoted, discharged for inappropriate touching. Inappropriate gay touching.

• New ANTM contestants bore Lauren Williams.

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While Dr. Fisher's looking into love, countless queers are looking into getting off.

Yes, reader, it's Tuesday, which means it's time once again for a little somethin' somethin' we call Trolling Tuesdays: the very special section when we take a look at gay sex-verts to see what exactly people are looking for.

And, as you'll see, it ain't always pretty….

(And,as always, preemprive [sic])

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It's Tuesday, kids. Do you know what that means? Well, yes, it's nearly Wednesday. And, yes, we've all survived another (manic) Monday.

More importantly, however, it means it's time for Trolling Tuesdays: that extra special, extra disturbing and, at time, extra revolting part of the day when we feature some of the more - how do we say this politely? - fucked up sex-verts found on Craigslist.

Now, without further ado, we present this week's unedited Trolling Tuesdays…

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Alright, we're keeping this weeks Tuesday Trolling takes us from the ordinary run of the mill fetish to the downright freaky.

The first one's not too surprising. The second one may be a bit disturbing, but not totally off the wall. As for the third one - well, we're speechless. And nauseous.

Enjoy!

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Tuesday's the least glamorous, fun or even interesting day of the week. Thanks to our newest feature, Trolling Tuesdays, these 24 excruciating hours just got a little more bearable (read: filthy).

Read a few of the more bizarre M4M messages you, our lovely (and horny) readers found during your virtual strolls, after the jump.

Preemptive [sic], of course…

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• The 911 call that's sure to be a classic.

• Keith Boykin on Bobby Brown's anti-gay tirade, sexual panic and hate crime legislation.

• Which Republican presidential candidate will shed the most publicist-endorsed tears for Jerry Falwell's death?

• Some gay San Franciscans won't be shedding any tears for Jerry Falwell. They're planning an anti-memorial. Whoa. That's a. unnecessary and b. makes gay people look like jerks.

• California high school student Johnny Vera has our undying respect. This ballsy fucker's not only transgender in high school, but he had the confidence to run for prom queen! And won! You work that shit, girl. You work that shit… (PS: We have to include the picture. Trannie prom queens forever!)

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• If there's one thing lesbians love, it's ladies. Yep, they're all about the chicks. So, of course the sappho-journos over at AfterEllen were all over the Shakira/Beyonce mega-collaboration, "Beautiful Liar". We've reposted the video after the jump, but you should head over and see what the girls had to say. "Sometimes, it’s difficult to distinguish Beyoncé from Shakira and Shakira from Beyoncé. But, really, who’s complaining?" Sluts. [AfterEllen]

• Now this is slutty: NYC Man seeks all of Hell's Kitchen. [craigslist]

• But the ladies at The View think Paris Hilton's the biggest slut of all. She's so slutty, in fact, that she could feasibly have sex with a horse. That's what Joy Behar says… [BWE]

• Peter Tatchell doesn't think London Mayor Ken Livingstone's a slut, but he does think he needs to check himself before wrecks himself. Livingstone implied that Tatchell's an Islamophobe. Tatchell says, "That ain't so, buster!"

• Michael Savage may be a total homophobe prick, but he's going to make CAA lots of money. [TMZ]

• Playboy TV is dead! Oh, dead god, no! Playboy TV is dead!! How ever will we go on? Oh, well,, we'll just have to use the internet. Like everybody else. [Jossip]

• The Black Party's Back. And this time it's holy. [Saint At Large]

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Memorial Day Weekend brought sailors, gay rugby players, and gay cowboys to New York. But on the West Coast, what did it bring? Plenty of inivtations, ify you were looking on Craigslist:

May-29 Military salute! - 24 (Hollywood)

May-29 MEMORIAL DAY NIGHT HEAD FOR BLACK TOP - 30 (VALLEY) pic

May-29 Do you need memorial day relief? Free Blow Job 4 cute white or asian (Long Beach)

May-29 Happy Memorial Day Boys! - 33 (LA) pic

May-29 M.D. = Memorial Day? NO, IT'S My Dick, to celebrate that! - 36 (Koreatown)

May-29 Memorial JO Day……. - 33 (Los Feliz) pic

Yet somehow, when we trolled through Birmingham, Alabama's Memorial Day offers, we found not one. Sad face.

It is bad enough that us gays have to deal with some ignorant beliefs that we are right up there with those into bestiality and pedophilia. That gay agenda is infiltrating movie theaters across the country thanks to Brokeback Mountain. Now, they’re gonna be claiming that we are coming for their kids.

And guess what? We are.

Those feminine Unkle Toms the Queer Eyes are looking for protégés aged 10-18. Isn’t Jai already underage? Below is the Queer Eye Craigslist posting looking for the five young style makers.

We're looking to cast five young male talents age 10-18 to act as FAB5 protege's on an episode of Queer Eye!

If you consider yourself fairly knowledgeable on any of the following fields: food, fashion, grooming, culture or design. Then send us your photo for consideration. This is your chance to strut your stuff and make over one of our straight guys!

If this is not you, but know someone who fits the bill, then nominate him! E-mail us at crodriguez@thequeereye.com. Include applicants name and phone number.

Keep away from our nieces and nephews, you queens. We’re not scared you’ll turn them gay. We’re scared you’ll suck their souls. (And yes the spelling and grammar mistakes were in the Craigslist posting)

CASTING YOUNG TALENTS for BRAVO TV'S "QUEER EYE" [Craigslist]

We love Craigslist. We have found jobs, mid-century modern furniture, and the occasional blowjob all through the site with equal ease. In what we hope becomes a regular feature around these parts, featuring fun, disgusting, and unbelievable posts on Craigslist, take a look at this job posting for the Senior Planner for the WTC. Maybe we fags hold design and city planning in higher regards than most, but this seems like a job that is a little too important to be listed on the same website that has people peddling stained IKEA couches and searching for bareback sex. Does it not?

See a Craigslist post we should spotlight? Send it over.

We know San Francisco is an expensive town to live in and that it is full of unemployed fags. So in our best effort to help the queens of San Francisco find gay friendly work we browsed Craigslist last night and not for sex. This time.

“Are you proud of the hard work you put into looking hot each day!?” asks the first job listing for MaxMuscle, the creatine and Lycra selling nutrition store in the heart of the Castro. This job is a perfect way to meet steroided, muscle queens like yourself. So send those resumes girls. The icing on the cake of this job is the fact that the Metro bar is right upstairs. We always find work easier to do when we have cocktails readily available.

The second San Francisco job opening perfect for a queen strapped for cash is this one for the Nob Hill Adult Theatre, a 37 year old porn arcade and strip club. The squeamish should not apply since “light janitorial” work is required. And yes, that means Windexing up semen.