'tis the season

12 silly, sexy holiday stocking stuffers that are sure to turn Santa queer

Christmas is right around the corner, which means one thing: holiday gift guide galore! Whereas most mainstream LGBTQ+ gift guides consist of nothing but rainbow-plastered products up the you-know-what, at Queerty we like to approach gift guides a little differently.

Related: 32 of the best LGBTQ books to read yourself or gift others

We’ve traded in those boring (but still pretty to look at) rainbow items with things you’ll actually want. At least we hope! From LGBTQ-made tea to even gayer-made wine, NSFW puzzles to CBD goodies made for your bum, and everything in between – we’ve rounded up some of the best stocking stuffers we could find…

For the CBD connoisseur who’s also into butt play

Before writing this gift guide, I had never heard of CBD that was meant to be shoved up your hoo-ha holes, but that’s exactly what Grassroots Harvest’s SILK CBD Suppositories are made for! 

Designed for anal or vaginal use, these little busters are potent, with 100mg of CBD per suppository. Worried about what you’re putting up there? Fear not! Each suppository is made of ultra-natural ingredients, only cocoa butter and CBD. 

Of course, you won’t want to insert these anally without some lube (directions here). Fortunately, Grassroots Harvest has got you covered there, too! 

Available via Grassroots Harvest for $50. Happy inserting!

For the one who finds puzzles sexy

I typically don’t trust people who say they like puzzles (like, is there literally nothing better you could be doing with your time?!). But I’ll make an exception for LGBTQ-owned company, PUXXXLES.  

Founded by 3 friends during the pandemic who were looking for things to do during quarantine, PUXXXLES is an adults only puzzle company that features sexy puzzles that are sure to make any snowman melt. There are 5 different puzzle varieties to satisfy all audiences, each with 500 pieces of fun. And in case you end up opening these in front of your mother-in-law, don’t worry; the exterior packaging is discreet, with only the completed puzzles exposing the ahem, present, inside. 

Available via PUXXXLES for 17.49 through December; regularly $34.99.

For the one who’s always ready for wine o’clock

You know what makes a great stocking stuffer? Alcohol! And this alcohol is 1,000% too gay to function (in the best way possible).

SO GAY ROSÉ is a queer and AAPI-owned wine company that’s on a mission to reclaim the phrase “So Gay” to be “So Great,” and embrace the joy that comes when you live your most authentic, colorful self. They sell rosé and chardonnay in adorable little cans that are practically begging to be stuffed in every queer person’s stocking this year.

To boot, each purchase gives back to LGBTQ+ organizations, like The Trevor Project.

Available via SO GAY ROSÉ; Prices vary.

For the one who watched 50 Shades once and now thinks they’re a BDSM expert

I know 50 Shades of Grey was sooo 2015, but the power of BDSM lives on!  Whether you’re looking to embrace your inner Christian Grey or hey, just want to spice things up in the bedroom, Queer in the World offers a ‘Let’s Try Something New’ BDSM Starter Kit.

Available in four different colors and perfect for your naughty-elf in-training, this kit allows you to explore bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism. Don’t forget to come up with a good safe word!

Available via Queer in the World for $50. 

For the bottom who’s looking to f*ck after Christmas dinner

They say fiber is a bottom’s best friend – something Bonny knows all too well! What is Bonny? It’s a 100% natural, plant-based fiber supplement that tastes amazing, and will make sure your lovely booty is at its cleanest before any anal play this holiday season. 

As someone who has tried every fiber supplement under the sun (OK, I’ve tried at least two other brands), I can say without hesitation that Bonny is among the best. Whereas most fiber powders taste like Satan’s a**hole, Bonny’s “Amplified Apple Pie” flavor will have you missing your grandma. 

Tis the season to pull out clean! Available via Bonny for $34.

For the one who wants you to tear their undies off

You didn’t think we’d forget to include some underwear did you? TomboyX is an LGBTQ+ owned company that sells a wide range of apparel, but our favorite is their underwear, which come in a variety of fun prints are are available in multiple sizes, from XS to 6X. They basically put the gay in holigays!

Available via TomboyX, prices vary.

For that highly caffeinated person who’s always on the go

You know that one person who is always on the go, with somewhere to be? Well, Nostalgia Coffee Roasters has just the java for them! 

Nostalgia’s “Instantly Better Coffee” Brew Bags are made with ethically sourced and organically grown coffee. Simply boil some water, dunk a coffee bag in, let steep for a few minutes and viola- coffee magic!

Did we mention Nostalgia Coffee Roasters is LGBTQ+ owned? We’ll cheers to that.

Available via Nostalgia Coffee Roasters for $25.

For the one who’s looking for something cute AF

Sorry, we can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Because we just died from the cuteness that is these enamel pins from Heckin’ Unicorn. Choose from a whole host of Pride pins, depending on how you identify; just look at the LGBTQ+, demisexual, transgender, and nonbinary pins above! Best of all, Heckin’ sells both obvious and subtle pins, so whether you are out and proud, or still in the closet, the company has the pins for you.

Available via Heckin’ Unicorn for $10.

For the kid at heart

Turns out, Legos aren’t just for stepping on! They can also be a source of great pride.

Get the “Everyone is Awesome” set via Lego for $34.99.

For the one who embodies Pride all year

Some things are better left unspoken. So, say it with a candle instead. As the wax melts, a secret message is slowly revealed at the bottom of the glass cup… which um, spoiler!

Available via 54Celsius for $15.

For the one who always has piping hot tea to share

How are you supposed to spill the tea without any tea? Fortunately, Sis Got Tea, a Black, woman, and LGBTQ-owned tea business, has got your back! They offer an eclectic variety of teas, from earthy, to herbal, to downright sweet (hey, I love sugar!). 

And with flavors like Apple Pie, Cotton CanTEA (tehe, I see what they did there), Banana Pudding, and S’mores – there is no shortage of creative options to tickle your tea taste buds.

Plus, they currently have a GoFundMe going, so they can open a physical location in Louisville, KY. So, be a southern (or Midwestern? WHERE IS KENTUCKY LOCATED!?) gentleman and help a sis out today.

Available via Sis Got Tea, prices vary.

For the one who’s in search of an LGBTQ+ role model

Queer identity is a magical gift! That’s the basis behind “The Queer Advantage” by Andrew Gelwicks. In the book, Gelwicks sits down with LGBTQ+ leaders across television, sports, politics, music and beyond to discuss the power of identity and how it’s been a source of good in their lives. It includes Q&A style conversations with many queer people you probably know of, including Troye Sivan, Margaret Cho, George Takei, Billie Jean King, Shangela, Adam Rippon, Ryan O’Connell, and many more.

As for how the author got so many awesome people to speak to him? Gelwicks tells us he was “very fortunate that they all felt enthusiastic about my mission and what I was trying to convey.”

The book may also provide hope for those struggling to come out. For those people, Gelwicks encourages them to “have patience. This is a constantly-evolving process of learning who we are as we continually change and evolve. Don’t be afraid to question why you are feeling things and to have hard conversations with yourself.”

Available via Amazon, Hachette Books or wherever you buy books; prices vary.

Happy Holidays from all of us at Queerty. May your stocking be fully stuffed this year!