We wish every coming out was like the stories shared below, filled with relief, acceptance and joy.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t always play out so well. Coming out is not a one-size-fits-all kind of activity, and often closeted folks have to weigh their need to speak truth against how they perceive their loved ones will react.
But to those still in the closet contemplating revealing your truth — there is always light at the end of the tunnel. If you face rejection, fear or anger from those around you — even family members — know that the ones who truly care about you will come around in the end and see you for the person you truly are.
And hopefully, you’ll all just laugh it off immediately like these lucky folks on Whisper:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Glücklich
The guy with the haircut mother *should* be scared. Run like the wind!
Erik Tims
How does this pass for a pseudo legitimate article. You’ve literally done no work and can valid zero sources. What’s the point?
bottom250
Sweethearts, I was always lucky in some sense as everyone new I was gay from a small child as I have always been very flamboyant so my family and friends were always supportive. It did make growing up tough at school being extremely effeminate.
RobvR
Kudos to all but you don’t come out because of this day. You come out because you’re ready for it. The rest doesn’t matter.
AtticusBennett
from five years ago, but i still stand by this message. happy national coming out day, everyone. and to canucks, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aBCKCLkBg8
jazzman1225
When I was 18, my Dad asked who I was bringing home for Thanksgiving. I’d been seeing a guy for about three months and took that moment to open up about that fact. So, I responded to my father’s inquiry:
“Barry and I thought that we come here first, since we have dinner so early before going to see his family”.
Dad, looking at me then asked, “Is there something I need to know about you and Barry”?
I took a deep breath, “Barry has a one bedroom apartment. Sometimes I sleep over and I don’t stay on the sofa”
He poured himself a glass of scotch and then asked me if Mother knew? I said to him, “I haven’t told her”.
Dad downed the glass of scotch and said, “Well let’s go tell her”.
That was the roughest part of my coming out. Thankful for my family and friends.
AtticusBennett
on this day, hug and Elder Gay. they opened the doors for us 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcRoOBYVC58
TomMc
I first came out to a female friend on New Year’s Eve 1984. I was throwing a ridiculous party in my parents’ rec room at the time. She was remarkable stoic and supportive. (Keep in mind that was small-town Ontario during the 80s.)
Next I came out, along with a friend who the woman mentioned above introduced me in January of 1985, to a couple of other folks in our Grade 13 class. They were shocked: One said “but I defended you against the people who called you gay in high school”. One of the others said they could not be friends with either me or the other gay guy any more, as it went against her Roman Catholic beliefs. (Little did she know that my grandmother was an ardent member of the Orange Lodge.)
After that my dad found out, but his reaction was subtle. On the weekends I used to borrow the station wagon to drive to one of the largest neighbouring city’s gay bars. I told my parents I was going to spend the night at a friends house. Eventually my dad checked the odometer and, with a raised eyebrow, inquired about the mathematical discrepancy. (Thankfully it wasn’t a “Did you touch the thermostat?!” glare.)
My dad was likewise indirect the night that I left a copy of the paperback “So you think you’re attracted to the same sex?” on the kitchen counter. Being younger, I had no alcohol tolerance, and after two gin and tonics, I fetched one, of two, publications I had from my room to show to a closeted pal of mine. I woke up with a fuzzy head, stumbled to the kitchen for coffee, and found my dad’s pack of cigarettes on top of it.
Then I came out to my sister: She was shocked. Seriously. Had no idea. Me: “Don’t you recall my ability to spot the best looking guys when we hung out in the mall?”… More so, “Why do you think I gave you that Chippendale’s calendar last Christmas??”
My mom I told on the phone. She said: “Oh, I already knew that.” But she didn’t, not really. I wish I’d brought it up again before she died – not for her blessing or anything, but just to thank her for doing the very best she could with what she was given.
Arcamenel
I never came out I just started chiming in when my sisters would talk about a hot guy.
joe
if only all the stories would be so nice…mine certainly wasnt nor continues to be…good luck them though they are very lucky…very
ted72
@AtticusBennett: he’s so cute this guy.
Glücklich
@Arcamenel:
Watch out because I was BLASTED on this very site for doing essentially the same thing you describe, i.e. carrying on as normal and not making an announcement in lights on the Goodyear blimp or having a big gooey after-school-special heart-to-heart.
AtticusBennett
@ted72: who, me? 😉
i was in high school. i’d recently met a guy and i wanted to be able to enter in a relationship with him from a complete place of honesty in my life. he was on tour, performing in a show, and i was going to visit him on the weekend. They asked who he was and i said, “he’s a really great guy, and he really likes me, i think i might be falling in love with him”
my dad’s first words were “that’s wonderful, when do we get to meet him?” my mum smiled and hugged me, my sister cried. i’d asked her about it years later and she said she was just overwhelmed; my coming out put into context the bullying and depression and struggles i’d had over the years, and she was just so relieved that i was no longer going to be allowing that fear to rule me. it was an awesome moment.
and the family met him, welcomed him, and he even came and sat with my family at my high school graduation ceremony – which was TRULY one of the most kick@ss moments of my life.
Ron Levy
Its important to remember that coming out would not be possible if it was not for the activists who decades ago who were brave enough to challenge society to demand equal rights. If you want to learn about Canada’s LGBT movements “coming out” in 1971 I posted an article on huffington post about it at http://huff.to/1LFIqWi
gaym50ish
I would not call any of these “success stories.” A successful coming-out is one that is uneventful and not the least bit traumatic. One in which the parents have made it clear from the kid’s early childhood that they are totally accepting of gay people, so there’s not the least bit of angst about telling the parents how you feel sexually at any point during puberty or even before.
Even that first story is not one of success, but of what I call an unhealthy “stand-off.” The kid dies a slow death before coming out because he doesn’t know how the parents will react, and the parents say they knew all along but were waiting until the kid was ready to tell them. He should already KNOW how they would react, and they shouldn’t wait for some dramatic coming-out scene to make it crystal clear that they’re OK with it.
JaiCee
I came out as Bi to my friends and family recently. They all seem to know and had been waiting for me to do it, but they were all surprised that I liked women, most of them believed I was gay.
1EqualityUSA
darling, atticus. Thanks for posting it. Your sister sounds like a peach. Congratulations to all of you for kicking the closet door open and living genuinely.
Hugh Walker
Okay so I’m WEEKS late with this but for me, coming out day isn’t needed – every day I am inspired by someone’s story. My own begins this year – I’m coming out to the world as a homosexual. I figured social media was the place to do it and I’m thrilled with the positive response I’ve had so far. So there it is : I’m very proud to be an active member of the gay community!
Hugh Walker
@Hugh Walker: My twitter page!!! https://twitter.com/hughie63