18.8% of Gays Would Rather Get Down On Condi’s Coochie Than Suck Dick’s Dick

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Out keeps asking tough questions.

In light of Young Republican leader and nocturnal cocksucker Glenn Murphy’s resignation, the rag’s asking readers which Republican they fear waking up beside. As you can see, the majority of the fag rag’s online readers find Dick Cheney to be the most repulsive of the Republicunts. We definitely agree.

First and foremost, Mark Foley and Jim Kolbe are both gay. Thus, we’re assuming they both know how to suck dick. Sure, they’re both slimy and unattractive, but at least one can guarantee a semi-decent blow job.

President Bush may not be the most charming, intelligent or human man, but he’s got a certain dopey charm to him. Plus, he’s so used to taking orders, he’d probably do anything you ask. Also, considering he’s such a shit licker, we imagine he can toss a mean salad.

John Ashcroft’s too boring to be repulsive, while Mitt Romney, as much as we hate to say this, definitely ranks as an attractive and no doubt has a big dick. He does, after all, have about a jillion children. Something’s obviously working down below.

This leaves Condi. Yes, it’s been a while since we dipped into the ‘gina, but hers could be worth a spin. She’s got that gap, after all. You know what that means: total cum guzzling slut. Totally a modern day – and American – Wife of Bath.