First they came for our guns and we said nothing. Now they’ve taken away our mildly suggestive stone fruits.
With the new beta version of iOS 10.2, the seemingly humorless tech drones at Apple have replaced the beloved peach emoji—the one that looks a lot like a big round booty—with a new version that may more accurately represent Georgia’s official state fruit, but saps much of the cheeky joy out of…well, life! Like, seriously, what the hell is the point of sending someone a peach emoji that looks like a literal peach anyway?
I suppose it’s a bit too much to expect a Silicon Valley company that has defined itself for decades with a stylishly bland, efficiently flat, austere aesthetic to really appreciate the pleasures of camp; to understand and value of the specific kind of tongue in cheek kitsch with which most people deploy emojis. But Jesus, Apple! I guess we should all just put on our sexless white tunics and
enjoy dutifully consume a bottle of Soylent and kiss irony goodbye like a fuzzy cartoon ass peach. Would that make you happy, Tim Cook?
But maybe it’s much ado about nothing. As the smarty-pantses over at Slate point out, “It’s possible that people will continue to use the new peach to signify butt, even if the peach emoji completely evolves past its resemblance to the body part. In 10 years’ time could an emoji of a peach slice still mean booty?”