WALTER TITTY

Ben Stiller Might Strip For Chippendales Movie

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At last, the cinematic experience you’ve all been waiting for: an opportunity to see Ben Stiller naked!

Okay, so he’s no Tom Daley. But we’ve always found Ben attractive, particularly in his Reality Bites days. Since then, he’s aged quite nicely, and as he prepares to enter his fifties, we would definitely let him buy us a drink, slip his hand around us, and get to at least second base in a cab. Third base if it’s after 2 a.m.

According to reports, Ben’s in talks to star in I am Chippendales, the feature-film adaptation of Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers. Haha, no, just kidding, it’s the story of how Chippendales turned into an icon of male stripping and bachelorette shrieking.

The Chippendales story is actually surprisingly intriguing, and not just because of the male nudity. Founder Somen Banerjee pled guilty to arranging the murder of former partners and competitors, one of whom was shot in the face. Prosecutors also alleged that he arranged to burn down competing bars. He died in an apparent jail suicide. Jesus. Stiller may play Nick DeNoia, “the former choreographer/partner who helped conceive the idea for the dance troupe with Banerjee and attorney Brian Nahin.”

The film’s set to be directed by Alan Ball, creator and sometimes director of Six Feet Under and True Blood. (He was also a story editor in Cybill and Grace Under Fire, which is pretty great.) Ball also wrote the screenplay for American Beauty. Remember that one? It was basically the arty-thinky version of another anti-materialism film out at the same time, Fight Club.

Anyway, the point is, we might have a chance to glimpse Ben Stiller’s nipples. Please make a note of it.