FRANKLIN GRAHAM“I’m no better than a gay person,” said Franklin Graham in an Easter Sunday interview, before going on to add that he is, in fact, better than gay people because he has repented for his sins.

And what exactly are his sins? Well, he doesn’t say, so let’s just assume that he uses live garter snakes to sound himself while delivering sermons. (The aristocrats!)

In all seriousness, Franklin’s sins are all too obvious. He’s an outright monster in his treatment of LGBTs, accusing gay parents of “recruiting” in the very same interview and supporting Russia’s human rights abuses. Franklin’s no backwoods rube, surely he must know that the “recruiting” thing is a terrible lie. So, there’s a sin right there. How Christlike.

His statements about Russia are even more appalling. “Putin is going to make these decisions that he thinks (are) right for the Russian people — he thinks taking advantage of children, exploiting children, is wrong.”

What’s so infuriating about this is that if anyone is recruiting and exploiting, it’s Franklin Graham and his lunatic fringe evangelist cult.

It is hard to believe that a man as educated as Franklin could actually believe that gay people exploit children. He must know that that’s an ignorant, bigoted lie, right? Surely he’s only saying it because he knows it plays well with his base, to whom he’s been lying for years. We just do not understand how a godly man could live with himself, spouting falsehoods and attacking innocent people all over the world.

But maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he’s actually an idiot. Maybe he actually believes the nonsense about “recruiting” and “exploiting.” Maybe he really feels that the best way to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus is to lead an international attack on gay men and women who just want to live their lives in peace. Maybe he’s had both nipples surgically removed from his chest and attached to his scrotum. Anything’s possible!

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