Instastud/reality TV star Ryan Cleary and his The Bi Life co-star Michael Gunning recently sat down with PinkNewsUK to talk about their sexualities and share their coming out stories.
Before coming out publicly earlier this year, 27-year-old Cleary says he first noticed his attraction towards both males and females “when I hit puberty” but he didn’t tell anyone about it for years.
Cleary says being closeted left him feeling “really depressed” until he had finally broke down and came out to his mother. That’s when everything changed and he started feeling more comfortable with himself.
Earlier this year, he came out as bi on the reality dating show Survival of the Fittest. At the time, Cleary told Attitude, “When I was younger I’d have loved to have heard someone on TV say they were bisexual and it not be an issue. I don’t think that’s shown on TV often.”
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Asked what advice he has for people who may be struggling to come out, Cleary tells PinkNewsUK, “You don’t want to look back on your life and be like I lived for what I thought certain people in society wanted.”
“People DM me and I give them advice. They ask: ‘Oh, what about the bad reactions? Have you had any?’ I hear people’s worries and I don’t want people to feel like that because it’s that’s not a life to live.”
Cleary adds, “If it’s safe for you to come out then I would definitely advise you to do so—just to a friend, to a family member, and then to take it from there.”
“Whatever it is that you feel you are, it’s important that you do express that because life is short.”
Watch.
Related: Reality star Ryan Cleary says he’s proud to be bisexual, poses for smokin’ hot photo shoot
Donston
“The Bi Life”? They really couldn’t come up with a less basic title?
Kangol
He’s a beauty. So’s Gunning. They should date if they haven’t already thought about it.
iamru2
Whatever dude. When your ready to be a man and honest then come back to us.
unreligious
Here we go with the people who can’t accept the fact that sexuality is a scale. Some people are 100% straight and some are 100% gay and others lie within the extremes. He is being honest, you on the other hand are being closed minded..
iamru2
Grow up, just because someone says something you don’t agree with doesn’t mean they are closed minded, if that were true then I could call you closed minded get it???
Zokomei
@iamru2 then by your same logic you should never call a heterosexual person who doesn’t agree with homosexuality closed minded. And the next time a heterosexual person dismisses or disregards your homosexuality, just grow up, they just have a differing opinion than yours. You’re exactly what’s wrong with the LGBTQ+ community smh.
Lacuevaman
iamru2 question, what do you mean “be a man and honest”? you can’t just say that without more explanation.
Pete le meat
He should be allowed to like any sex he wants. If he doesn’t like identity politics then he shouldn’t have to identify as GLBTQ either.
It’s his life and body, not the GLBTQ’s.
frankcar1965
He’s gay, it just feels better saying he is Bi. He needs to get over it.
Zokomei
@frankcar1965 The only time it can feel better to say you’re bi is if you’re trying to appease straight people. In the gay community, because of people like you, it’s almost a sin to admit your bi. As a bisexual man, I can’t tell you how many gay guys have discriminated against me, denied my existence or claimed that I’m a liar. It’s so funny because I could have sworn gay folks just want to be accepted and allowed to love and be loved, yet here they are doing the exact same thing within their own community. The irony.
Rock-N-RollHS
@ Zokomei. First, who cares what others think. If you are bi, you know the truth. But let’s not pretend that it’s not a heterosexual world and that going out in this world with your girlfriend are your arm won’t be a hell of a lot easier and more acceptable.
Donston
“Pete le meat” sounds like that old, cranky, anti-gay, anti-female butthole who’s using another new username.
Zokomei, there are people who are a-holes all over the spectrum and simply can’t see things differently from their perspective. There is an inherent resentment from gay-identifying guys when it comes to bi-identifying dudes who decide who only have serious relationships with women/who settle down with a woman. And honestly, that resentment is kind of understandable. There’s also a fear from many gay-identifying guys that bi/fluid/queer identifying dudes contend with a lot more internalized homophobia and self-resentment than gay-identifying guys, are a lot of more uncertain about what they want, are just into using guys for sex or cash, or will eventually just go with a chick and call it a life. There are many dudes who do indeed fit those categories. While there many people who are just being honest about themselves and embracing the term that think suits them. There’s also a decent portion of the “queer movement” that is anti-gay, doesn’t believe anyone should identify as “gay” and is obsessed with telling people that no one is legitimately heterosexual or homosexual and gender shouldn’t matter as far as who you want to be with and/or have sex with.
There’s honestly a lot of messiness across the board.
Donston
I don’t really trust much of anything when it comes to these people who seek fame through social media and reality TV and showing off their bodies. However, there shouldn’t be any issue with people embracing whatever “identity” they feel suits them. I tend to align myself with the older generation when it comes to this stuff and what “gay” is. I see “gay” as not having much to do with homosexuality and is rather more about your sustained passions, where your romantic fulfillment leans, who you prefer giving persistent affection to and receiving persistent affection from, and your relationship contentment/comfort. So, therefore I feel you can be “gay” and fit practically anyone on the sexual spectrum. And though I’m not homosexual embracing “gay” became important to me because it makes me feel solid and assured, doesn’t undermine my marriage and doesn’t undermine what I know I ultimately want and what most overall fulfills me. But everyone is different, everyone has their own journey, everyone has their own idea about what all these things mean and their own motivations behind why they say they are what they say they are. So, the focus should be less on what people call themselves and more on people not living in fear or shame and people unabashedly loving who they want to love.
Pete le meat
Men with homosexual feelings generally do not want to identify as GLBTQ. Identity politics doesn’t interest them in the slightest. Think of the reported life of Aaron Hernandez.
Identifying as GLBTQ has become a burden, not only because of the politics and rigid rules but also because GLBTQ has relegated male homosexuality to inferior status.
Hussain-TheCanadian
Brain is that you? I was starting to wonder where you ran off to.
Donston
Yep, definitely him. I peeped it out within the first couple sentences of his first post. That’s how redundant he is.
Donston
However, he does have a point when it comes to “inferior status”. Homosexuality is starting to be seen as something old-fashioned when it comes to the “queer community” at large. If you don’t claim to at least be “open” to sexual or romantic experiences beyond your cis gender or will admit to not being entirely conventionally homosexual then you’re “basic” or you hate women and/or trans people. You also have a lot of people trying to claim that homosexuality doesn’t even exists, and most of the “queer community” is not calling these people out.
There’s a lot of homosexual/homo-leaning/gay dudes who worship or are obsessed with hetero-leaning dudes. There’s a decent percentage of gay-identifying people who do not unabashedly support same-sex love and commitment. There’s a lot of “queers” and people who are 100% homosexual who demand that people who are not 100% homosexual stay away from saying that they’re “gay”. I’ve experienced some hostility from homosexuals and from inherently bi/pan-sexual people because I embrace “gay” and see “gay” as having less to do with homosexuality and more to do with overall preferences, romantic fulfillment and relationship ambitions. While misogyny, effemiphobia, and trans-phobia does come from a decent fraction of “masculine” gay-identifying men.
It’s all helping lead to “gay” becoming a bad word for many people (“gay” has always been an uncool word), a word too exclusive and restrictive for many people, and is helping to lead to homosexual and gay shame.
Kangol
Brian/Jason Smeds/whatever misogynistic homophobic persona he’s dreamt up is back! The hermitage and visits with the psychologists didn’t work out, huh?
draven
Bi=Lies
No love
Gay for pay
Never know what their doing
Opportunists
Cheaters
Never take your feelings into consideration
Only care about themselves
List goes on
Etc
Period
.
Hussain-TheCanadian
WTF………..you know this how? An ex-lover?