“It all started when I moved to a new city,” Reddit user myloveisathrowaway writes in a recent post titled Confused about feelings for my friend (another guy). “I’d frequent the same neighborhood bar he did. We ended up introducing ourselves because we saw each other so often.”
He continues, “The first time we hung out … was when he broke up with gf (waitress at the bar), he invited me over to his place we got drunk and talked about our whole life stories. After that we became really close friends.”
Myloveisathrowaway goes on to say that he is “99.99% sure” his friend isn’t gay or bi.
He adds that he, too, is straight. Or, at least, he’s “fairly certain” he is. But, he says, “there are certain aspects about our friendship which have me questioning WTF is going on.”
First, he says, they hug. Like, a lot:
We’ve become those friends that hug…. and not just when you’re saying hi or bye after long absences. We see each other multiple times a week, and we hug each other (sometimes multiple times in the same visit) like we’re sending each other off to war. … In the moment, it feels fucking awesome.
Second, his friend has a certain “look” in his eyes:
Every time he talks to me is like he’s staring into my soul. It’s mesmerizing and I can’t look away. Then, there will be times when we’re driving or something else and when I glance over it feels like I catch him looking at me. For no apparent reason.
And third, their bodies occasionally touch:
It always feels like we’re touching each other… Whether it’s a hand on the shoulder as we’re talking, legs pressed together at the bar, etc. It almost feels like when you like a girl, but haven’t really gotten to the point to nut up and ask her out.
The whole thing has completely thrown myloveisathrowaway for a loop. He now fears he may be “addicted” to his friend.
“I don’t think I’m sexually attracted to him,” he continues. “I’ve thought about, but I’m not turned on by the idea of having sex with him, nor have I ever had the urge to rip off his clothes and head to pound town.”
“But,” he adds, “the idea doesn’t gross me out.”
Myloveisathrowaway concludes by saying that there is “something undeniably deeper than just friendship going on” and that he’s “never felt anything like this before.”
“Maybe it’s just because the only other people I’ve had this much physical contact with are women,” he writes, “but I’ve often wondered what it would be like if we just started making out, because that just feels like what’s supposed to happen next whenever we hug. But what would happen if it went further than that? Would I like it? Would I stop it?”
“Wait, is this just what a bromance feels like?”