BYU’s “It Gets Better” Video Doesn’t Really Make It Sound Like It Gets Any Better

Yesterday, Queerty reported on a panel discussion at Brigham Young University that featured LGBT students sharing their stories and struggles. We’ve never been able to figure out why some people cling to a faith that rejects them—let alone attend a school that is wholly infused that faith—but it was encouraging to see the subject brought into the light.

Today we received this video from Understanding Same-Gender Attraction (USGA), an unofficial group at BYU that provides “a place for open, respectful discussions on the topic of same-gender attraction.”

Though the video is titled “It Gets Better at Brigham Young University,” the pain in the voices of these students as they talk about praying to God to make them straight is palpable. And the stats flashed across the screen—some 25% of gay and lesbian BYU students attempt suicide—are heartbreaking.

It seems like USGA has been something of a lifeline for these kids, but you have to wonder why they didn’t leave BYU and go elsewhere. (Sure, they might have to foot the bill, but millions of students do that every year.)  At 20, 21, even 24, they’ve decided to stay in a place that, at best, doesn’t know what to do with them.

Is this an It Gets Better video? We didn’t hear anyone saying that they were happy. That they had embraced their sexuality as a blessing, not a curse. That they had met someone and fallen in love.

Are you a recent Brigham Young graduate? Is there truly openness and acceptance on campus? Or is homophobia just wearing a different hat—hate disguised as compassion?  Share your story in the comments.


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  • 1equalityUSA

    This cult and the Catholic leadership has done so much damage to the gay community and it’s own followers. Words are too powerful to forget. One youngster recalled how his sister would not allow a gay person to to babysit her children. Even though she’s his advocate now, the words still float around in his memory banks. Robert P George, Maggie Gallagher, Nancy “wiggling” Elliot from New Hampshire, and all the rest of the lemmings all have said such untruthful, demeaning things to our community. Words just go on living, long after the perpetrators are dead. Healing this will take generations.

  • Cam

    BYU actually was still hooking people up to electroids to try to make them straight not that long ago.

    They deny it of course but…


    Mormons didn’t allow blacks full membership in the church until around 1980. they tortured gays, they were instrumental in the defeat of the ERA. Basically whenever that church has had a choice on civil rights, they have always….ALWAYS come down on the side of bigotry.

  • sheena

    this is disturbing i wish other coming out gay teens wont see this or else the pain on theyre messages would pull the coming out kids down to hide in closet…the video is like hate hidden beneath the good agenda

  • Mk_Ultra_again

    Mormonism and being gay are not compatible.
    It’s not because of gays. No gay has ever said “you can’t be gay and mormom”
    The cult Mormonism has said homosexuality is an “affliction” that needs to be cured, usually by means that society considers torture.
    I want to repeat that – TORTURE. Literally persecution that come straight out of Gitmo.
    They vote away our rights, and spread dehumanizing, degrading propaganda about us.
    They are the enemy. There is not one redeeming quality about Mormons.
    Until they get down on their knees and beg for forgiveness for what they’ve done to the gay community and offer to use their endless fortunes to fight for marriage equality, they will always be seen as such.

  • Clint


    Did you seriously just say that?

    “Mormonism and being gay are not compatible.” … “‘No gay has ever said “you can’t be gay and mormom'”

    You JUST said it! Two sentences before! Maybe you’re not gay and so you can still say ‘no gay has ever said’. Yeah, that must be it…


  • Atlas

    @Mk_Ultra_again: I have to agree. It’s very possible to be gay and Christian, but gay and Mormon is not one of the ways to do it.

  • Mk_Ultra_again

    So you’re saying that Mormonism and homosexuality are compatible.
    Please explain, in detail, with examples.

  • Jawsch

    I have a personal connection to this video because my best friend from diapers, of more than 20 years, after the death of our best friend converted to Mormon and told me she was attending BYU and now (after years of being my closets ally and friend) told me she believed Homosexuality is a sin.
    Mormons stole my best friend, they changed her and while she still loves me, they brainwashed her to believe I chose to be gay and that my life is a sin.
    Fuck Mormons and fuck BYU. I hope that school burns

  • Andy

    It gets better… if you get out the school and cult.

  • Clint

    I wasn’t commenting on the viability of being gay and Mormon. I was pointing out the fact that you said “no gay has said you can’t be gay and Mormon” having JUST said you can’t be gay and Mormon only two sentences before. How do you explain your contradiction?

  • William

    Why was this video even made?

  • David P

    Get over it! As a strong, proud homosexual I can appreciate that they feel they are able to say how they feel. And it is exactly that… how THEY feel, not you all.

    We all want to be allowed to say how we feel and not be told we are wrong, but you all are doing to them exactly what we all don’t want done to us: being told how we feel and what we say we feel is wrong.


  • 1equalityUSA

    To William, who asked why this film was even made: To ferret out all the unsuspecting mormonators that haven’t yet seen the light of day outside of their closets, so that the elders can compile a lavender list.

  • oska

    well now i’m depressed

  • J

    I graduated from BYU a couple years ago and am engaged to a man I met at BYU. We had kind, wonderful, and supportive friends. Many of them were active, faithful Mormons. Some will even be in our wedding party. Active, faithful Mormons. The video was made because there are lots of gay mormons who weren’t fortunate enough to be surrounded by supportive, kind friends like I was. Or maybe they just had a harder time reconciling their faith with their sexuality than I did. This video is to tell them that there are supportive people out there. I know a couple of the people in this video, and I am proud of them.

    Yeah, Mormons are behind the times. I’ll be the first to tell you that. But many of them are still good, decent people. It’s not productive (or good messaging on the part of our LGBT community) to ever say, “A certain group is…. X.” People did that to the LGBT community for centuries, so we shouldn’t so quickly do it to others.

    But yeah, “getting better” for many gay Mormons means graduating and moving away. It got better for me once I came to terms internally with who I was. You’re not going to get physically bullied at BYU, though the beliefs and opinions of those around you can definitely bully your emotions. After I came out to my buddies at BYU, they all made a conscious effort to not say anything hurtful. This video is for people who weren’t as lucky as I was.

    And I seriously hope you’re joking, if you actually think this video was made to “find” LGB students at BYU. I know these people and was one of the first members of USGA at BYU. It’s not.

  • Brett Ellingson

    I know most of the people in the video. I think the negative commenters here need to realize what a huge step this is. Mormons are moving quickly on the issue of homosexuality, and with another few years of sincere dialogue and learning to empathize with the gay people among them, I believe they’ll come around. It isn’t realistic to expect everyone just to “leave BYU and go elsewhere.” Not everyone reaches that step so easily. Throwing away your entire family and social circle is not something that many are willing to do just to have a little sexy fun during college. Let people move at their own pace and be happy for them (and their community) as they progress. If homosexuals are ever going to be normalized in society, there will need to be a conservative element, and the types of people who will make up that element need more time to adjust and figure out how to live a responsible life as a gay person.

  • 1equalityUSA

    DavidP it’s damage control because the elders know that they made fools of themselves by tottering into political swamps. It backfired on them and now these manipulative creeps want to present a different face of mormonism, especially since strap-the-family-dog-to-the-roof-until-he-blows-Romney will be the republican nominee. I’m not buying it. They manipulate entire states (Prop H8), so don’t get sucked in by these nice looking young people.

  • GDH Jay

    I doubt anyone really thinks this was just a few young kids who put together a little video using their cell phones but ended up looking like it was shot with a high-end HD camera and plenty of good lighting.

    This is just yet another roll of astro turf in the “good publicity campaign” that Mormons have rolled out since their puppet master role in the “Proposition 8 Fear and Misrepresentation” story came to light. Mormons were shocked when they found out that so many people would turn on them in such an angry way. They all claim they don’t hate anyone but as we saw back in 2008, you can tell a Mormon is lying because he’s moving his lips.

    We’ve seen a lot of Mormon “we’re nice people” propaganda. They have that whole parade of the “And I’m A Mormon” Youtube Videos (with the comments turned off) and they forced David Archuletta to become a missionary ( you really believe that he wanted to leave his career and have his hair cut posted on Yotube along side a picture of him looking scared and humiliated singing with the choir?). We’ve had famous Mormons like Eliza Dushku and Stephanie Meyers put front and center by the cult but they’ve tried to stay away from the clearly bat shit crazy Duggar family. To no avail.

    They even thought that Mitt Romney could help boost their image until we got a close enough look at him to see what a slime bag he is.

    While I do feel a bit sorry for these kids, it’s clear that they’re a pretty miserable bunch. Most looked like they were either embarrassed to even say “I’m gay” and a few looked like they were on the verge of collapse.

    The opening sentence in the video says it all.. “I could say it’s going to be better but I’m not going to lie.”

    Of course it does get better. So long as you choose to stop being a Mormon.

  • J

    It’s really not a publicity stunt. You don’t know how big of a deal it was to get the USGA group started on campus. (And I don’t know if you’ve had much exposure to gay people, but they’re kind of good at making videos of stuff.)

    Also @Brett Hey!! Thanks for the birthday wishes this week! I meant to come write on your wall and say thanks, but law school owns me right now…

  • Chris

    WOW!! USGA– Understanding same gender attraction. Sounds like a psychology course. I wonder what they teach you to understand?? I need some more information to make a judgment on this. I think that it might be more propaganda than reality for these people. I didn’t hear alot of anything!?! I am still confused by their message… What got better??? I think they need some Gay 101 from Dan Savage!! I feel depressed after watching that and listening to the dismal music that accompanied it. I wish them all well and truly hope that it does get better for them.

  • Chris

    @Brett Ellingson: Little sexy fun?? Normalized in society?? Adjust and figure out how to live a responsible life as a gay person? People need to love and accept people as they are period. Do not try to marginalize the “element”. Being gay is far more than “sexy fun”. You truly make this sound like a sickness! I wish I could cure yours!!

  • Stark

    I disagree with most of the statements here. I think a lot of people are turned off of this video strictly because it is made from a perspective that still embraces Mormonism. And well, that is what it is. However, it is an individual’s right to choose what religion (or lack thereof) they wish to follow whether it “embraces” them or not. On the subject of the merits of the video itself as an “It gets better”, I feel that it is more encouraging than most vague “It gets better videos” (think, most of the videos put out by sports teams). The students actually talk about ‘how’ it got better for them (the ones who feel that it has gotten better), one kid talks about how he finally learned to ask his god if it was ‘okay’ for him to be gay instead of constantly praying to make him straight (and if you don’t see how huge that is in the perspective of a religious person, then you just won’t get it), another talks about how he came to accept himself and things subsequently got better, yet another talks about how she found help and support online, then there’s the whole matter of their GSA. It actually is quite informative and helpful, if you happen to be Mormon, maybe attending BYU, and also gay.

    Yes, of course this is a very specific “It Gets Better” video, aimed specifically at BYU students, so maybe most gay kids aren’t going to see it and feel better about their personal situation. But that’s the thing about “It Gets Better” videos now (if they are to have any redeeming quality whatsoever), there are so many of them that are tailored to specific demographics that we aren’t going to ‘get’ or even ‘like’ all of them. I personally wouldn’t have cared one bit about baseball/football teams telling me how much better it gets when I was in high-school getting bullied day in and day out by our own football/baseball teams, but I know a lot of fellow homosexuals who would have cared immensely and would have been uplifted by that sort of thing. This video was made for a niche market, and I think it does well what it intended to do.

  • Evan

    Here’s a more hopeful university video! It’s about love, QUEER LOVE! University of California Santa Barbara presents Project Queer Love-a video of the UCSB Queer Community

  • Barca

    Some kids are going to need to hear this message for sure. Not to say their message is perfect by any means, but there are people searching “It Gets Better” that won’t be able to relate to other messages on that YouTube page. This message was more targeted toward the LDS community.

    In the long run would I love to see the LDS church completely abandon all forms of prejudice, h8, bigotry and be completely accepting of all…yes. Will that happen tomorrow…more than likely no. This is a battle on two fronts…1 – to reach those kids who are in the LDS church (and others like it) to tell them the truth that it gets better, and 2 – fight/work with the LDS church to be more and more inclusive. I’ve attended gay-friendly churches and they are a wonder…only wish mine growing up was like that because maybe I wouldn’t have left the church.

  • 1equalityUSA

    Stark, the fact that you refer to us as, “homosexuals” says more about you than all of the fluff above your second to last sentence.

  • Stark

    @1equalityUSA: I apologize if you misunderstood what I was saying. However, I never referred to you at all, and as to the “us” you refer to, I don’t know who they are so it is likely that I didn’t refer to them either. I don’t know which part of my post threw you off. Again I do apologize, but the good news is that you don’t have to feel offended by my post anymore as it never referred to you in the first place.

  • lenoxus

    Regardless of how one feels about Mormonism, the very fact that this video could be made, and even get away with a claim that is an official BYU messgae, is a rather impressive piece of progress and sign of changing times. Sure, one may call it “damage control” (although that seems to igrnoe the fact that it was made by gay students, not their homophobic administrators), but it’s nice that BYU would feel the need for damage control in this direction and not the opposite, ie, making an explicit “At BYU, we are steadfast against the sin of homosexuality! Please don’t dislike us, evangalicals!” sort of video.

    It was not until 1978 that the LDS decided that black folks were people after all; I wonder how much longer before homosexuality becomes okay in the eyes of their God.

    Meanwhile, I took away an odd subtext from the video: straight people and their institutions “get better”, too. (For example, changes in BYU policies are emphasized, and one of the interviewees talks about his sister’s apparent turnaround, etc.)

    1equalityUSA, I think that’s a bit of over-reading of Stark’s comment. I myself am not only an atheist but a “new” atheist; I think all people should volantarily cease being religious, starting ASAP. But I thought Stark’s comment was still pretty insightful. if BYU becomes more and more gay-friendly over time, I’m not going to complain “But they’re still Mormon rrggh” (except insofar as I keep that as a tiny private complaint against all religious institutions, including the UU). Expecting kids to finance their own college just to not go to the one their parents insist on seems harsh to me (although it’s obviously an awful situation either way); I’d say it’s better for a place like BYU to get a GSA than for its gay population to feel marginalized. And this will only help the trends go the right way, too.

  • Matt

    Funny…the LDS Church had no problem excommunicating me when I came out of the closet. I served a mission for the Church and paid my tithing faithfully up to that point. Poof. They kicked me out. I can tell you, it DOES GET BETTER, but only after you LEAVE.

  • J&J

    I’d be more convinced if it were the Elders making the ‘it gets better video’ instead of the gay students with the pain in their voices, and the oh-poor-pitiful-you music in the background. I applaud them. I encourage them. I’ll not criticize them one bit, because if they keep it up, I’m confident that it will indeed get better for them.
    It certainly did get better for me–but only after I left the mormon church. And I really did have to fight to get out. Even 25 years later, they still send the missionaries and home teachers to knock on our door. My frank response the last time they came was finally: “Really. Tell me, just exactly what do you want? My husband and I were married in San Francisco before you all spent $22 million on Prop H8 to eliminate that Supreme Court-granted right. We’re 20 years into our relationship. We’re happy. We’re successful (of course not by any mormon measurement) and we really do just want you folks to be happy for us; or failing that, then simply leave us alone. But since your church has made it abundantly clear there is no place set at your table for us, what are you doing here on our doorstep with a plate of cookies in your hand? What is it, exactly, that you want?” They could not quite verbalize the answer. So I tried to help them a little bit by saying: “If I attended a church that did not believe in marriage between a man and a woman, and I came knocking on your door every month inviting you to come join us, you’d probably assume that I was trying to break up your marriage, right? I’d like to be hospitable, I’d like to be kind and friendly to you. But since you’re standing there in your suit and tie and name badge inviting me to your church services–church services that preach doing everything in your power–and in your checkbooks– to deny me civil rights, you’ll just have to understand if I find your motives questionable. So just tell me now what it is that you want from me?” They still couldn’t so they said good day, stepped off the porch, turned back again to invite me out to church one last time and offered to talk to us any time we might want to reconsider, and closed the gate behind them. Since then they have not returned. And so I must admit that yet again, in one more small way, things have indeed gotten better.

  • JJ

    David P: kudos.

    I can see where a lot of people might be coming from, and it’s especially understandable if you didn’t grow up Mormon and gay. I know firsthand that many “It Gets Better” messages can be unintentionally depressing to a young gay Mormon guy, especially videos of cute young guys in partnerships, because each video is a reminder not just of what he personally believes God wants him to avoid but that the people telling him it gets better apparently don’t actually understand his beliefs and his options if he is to remain true to himself. Maybe that’s just a hard truth he should be forced to face: that his only hope for “it gets better” is to abandon his beliefs at the perceived risk of losing his family, friends, university, and entire framework of self-perception and social interaction.

    Some are simply not prepared or willing to do that, and they benefit from someone not telling or showing them they have to leave everything familiar before having some hope. They likely won’t benefit from one more person telling them how to live but rather being shown that people are listening and care. If some HAVE found “better” within Mormonism, why shouldn’t they reach out and say so? Their expressions and situations may not look like happiness to you, but many It Gets Better videos may not look like happiness to a gay Mormon. Some young guy or girl wants to see a glimmer of hope that they don’t necessarily have to choose between everything and everyone they know and accepting the big part of them they think threatens that.

    Many will eventually leave Mormonism, barring major reforms, and they will find relief and joy in different beliefs. But some will not let go of or reject their Mormon beliefs and affiliation, at least not now, and I believe someone who is lonely and desperately in need of understanding RIGHT NOW could be saved from despair by knowing that there are people within his world, his church, who will love and embrace him as he is, and that it gets better for others like him, even if they admittedly don’t yet know how it’s all going to work out or what they’re going to do with it. Heh, I dare suggest this message is no more made for most of us (I, for one, never attended BYU) than a message from a hot same-sex couple from Broadway is made for a gay Mormon accounting student in Provo, Utah.

  • JS

    Yo, this was one of the best “It Gets Better” videos I’ve seen. I’m as atheist and non-religious as they come and I thought it was pretty inspiring to hear God-believing GLBs speak of their struggles and reconciliations. At times, it can be pretty difficult to reconcile one’s sexual identity and other parts of one’s identity; but props to these students for doing it. I found it more helpful that they didn’t sugar-coat their lives but rather chose to speak about their problems and slowly working to overcome them. Also props to these people for trying to change their system/ways of viewing and understanding the world.

  • Kev C

    It looks like another corporate IGB video to me. BYU; Come for the education. Stay for the paralyzing depression.

  • GreatGatsby2011

    My friend growing up was a gay member of the LDS church. It certainly wasn’t easy for him and I could see this video giving him hope if it had been around back then. So while I’m not a fan of the LDS church personally, I appreciate that there’s a message out there for LDS gay youth (if a relatively depressing one compared to other IGB videos).

    And come on, at least it’s more relevant than Kim freaking Kardashian.

  • Craig

    I think that most of the commenters here misread this video. I’m an ex-Mormon of over 7 years, returned missionary, former graduate student at BYU, and out gay man who lives with my boyfriend of one year on the East Coast.

    I came out to several of my peers back at BYU in the wake of a rebuffed crush on a roommate that led me to seek counseling. I lost probably half of my friends to whom I came out, but I was fortunate to have tapped into the very small group of less-conservative students on campus and many of them still remain my friends.

    The notion that in the decade or so since I left the school, policy would change to allow students to attend and be openly gay, albeit not in any relationships, is already a huge step. And that they have something that verges on a gay-straight alliance is mind-blowing.

    Is it nearly enough? No. Do I wish that all of them would see their way out of the faith? Of course. But this is a big deal, and I think the negativity on this board is unwarranted.

  • Mk_Ultra_again

    @Clint: Clint, I never said “you can’t be gay and mormon”. I said they are incompatible. Did you miss that? Maybe you should put your glasses on?
    They don’t go well together. That’s not my opinion. I’m not the one who made it that way. I’m not the one trying to force gay Mormons to become straight, or celibate, or atheist or any other religion. I never made a statement that even resembles that, or supported it in any way.
    So no contradiction.
    Sorry, try again.
    Mormons try to force gay people to become straight, or celibate, or force them out and have their parents, family and friends abandon them.
    Ergo Mormons have stated that you can’t be gay and Mormon, and I simply pointed out that fact, to which you got over-excited for some reason.
    Why are you so eager to defend Mormonism?
    Why the contradiction?

  • Joshua L

    I am not a BYU Provo student, but I have grown up in Rexburg, Idaho, were BYU Idaho is located and it is essentially the same thing. I am also an ex mormon. I currently live in Boise Idaho and attend Boise State University. I am a gay male and have a partner, whom I have been with for two years. Most of my family is LDS, and many of my friends are LDS.

    I really only have a few select family members who really treat me as an equal, most of them see me as a black sheep. While almost all of them talk to me it is very superficial. Even fewer family members actually fully except my life style and think it is normal. As far as friends go, I came out in high school and learned that many of my LDS friends chose to fracture away from me. I had a very close tight nit of friends in high school, and after coming out most of them slowly stopped interacting with me due to my homosexuality. I still have LDS friends who I am very close to, they treat my partner and I very well. Although deep down I know they personally do not support the idea of homosexuality due to their religious preference, but all in all treat us as equals. I have had a few friends who attend BYUI who have completely separated themselves from me as they have grown more involved in the church. They talk to me like I am a stranger, and these were people I used to be able to talk to at anytime.

    This video concerned me for more than one reason. First of all it is sad that these people continue to cling to their religion. They even acknowledge that they are gay but as of now choose not to act on it and find someone they truly love, which is heart breaking. Also, for those people who are non LDS this video appears deceiving, it does not explain the mormon ideology in regards to homosexuality. Many people who are not LDS/Mormon, do not understand that this is NOT an endorsement of the gay community, these people are talking about excepting they are gay, but they do not believe they can act on it. They believe it is a sin to act on it, which is a terrible existence. They will never find true happiness until they fully except nature intended for them to live that way. I am so much happier to be an ex mormon and so much happier to be with my partner who loves me. Our relationship is so much more than just sex. It is emotion, love, energy, loyalty, being one. When my partner and I are intimate it is not purely lust, an emotional bond is created that makes our love for one another even stronger. This is something the gays of BYU have yet to understand. I feel bad for them, I cried during this video, not because I was happy for them, but because I was so sad for them.

  • David Aventura

    Interesting video.

  • randy

    @Mk_Ultra_again: I’ll try.

    LDS teaches that you can’t masturbate, ever, and that applies to everyone. LDS teaches that you cannot ever have sex unless you are married. LDS teaches that no gays can ever be married, ever. LDS teaches that no two men can love each other, ever. LDS teaches that no two women can love each other, ever.

    Therefore, if you are gay and a practicing mormon, you can never have an orgasm in your entire life. Not once. Because you can’t masturbate, and you can’t have sex with another man, and you can’t have sex with a woman (since she wouldn’t be your wife, and in any case you don’t love her, so sex would with her would just be lustfullness, another taboo).

    HOw the hell can anyone, let alone a gay man, live their entire life knowing that they can never have an orgasm? And never actually having one? How can you live a life knowing that if you fall in love with another male, you can never ever share that love, never openly declare it, and never act upon it?

    That’s a prescription for suicide. Whether you live or die is immaterial — you are dead emotionally.

    That’s why being gay and mormon is not only incompatible, it’s downright dangerous for anyone.

  • randy

    @J: So in other words, your “buddies” merely hide their bigotry towards to so as to not hurt your feelings. But you know damn well that when you aren’t around they still make comments that would deeply hurt you if you found out.

    Did they apologize to you for hurting you all this time? Do they even understand how their contempt for you all these years made you feel? Or are you saying, hey, it’s okay, just don’t make those bigoted comments around me?

    They aren’t your “buddies.” Unless they have said that they changed their minds and now realize that gays aren’t evil or damned, then you they are just playing games.

  • RedAssault

    Yeah, that name “Understanding Same Gender Attraction” makes it sound like a support group for people with a birth defect.

    Mormons are freaks. Sorry, but if you are still going to follow a religion that was founded by a man looking for an excuse to rape a bunch 12 year-old girls, I don’t care if you’re gay and begging for understanding, you’re just as much of a swine as the leaders of the LDS (who could send you to the gas chamber if they didn’t think it might mean fewer bookings at the Marriott Hotel).

    Mormons can suck it, even the ones who will admit to sucking it on Youtube.

    Gay and Mormon is the same as Gay and Nazi, Gay and KKK and Gay and Axe Murderer. Just because you’re gay, don’t think that gives you a pass for being a Mormon. It doesn’t.

  • randy

    @Brett Ellingson: @Brett Ellingson: “Throwing away your entire family and social circle is not something that many are willing to do just to have a little sexy fun during college”

    Seriously? You believe that this is merely some sort of game, where gays just want to get laid?

    First, if it means that you must “throw away your entire family and social circle” when you merely announce who you are, then you are seriously fucked up, and your family and social circle are fucked up too. Why should they shun you? And why would you want to be a part of something that thinks that way? What screwed up family or social circle would even think of rejecting one of their own just because they are gay?

    SEcond, it isn’t just to have a “little sexy fun.” This is your IDENTITY. It is who you are. Not coming out doesn’t stop the ‘sexy fun,’ I can assure you, but even if you are celebate and even a virgin, coming out will get destroy your entire life?

    There is something seriously wrong with a family and society that so strongly enforces rules of conformity. It’s not a healthy environment in any case. Your defending it all only makes it appear all the more scary.

  • RedAssault

    @Brett Ellingson: you wan some “Sincere Dialogue?”

    Ok… Go sincerely fuck yourself, you mormon subhuman swine.

    How’s that?

    Those House Slaves in the video are just another obstacle to my family being treated equally. Oh yeah,.. their “friends” and “family” all are fine so long as they act straight and pretend to be eunuchs. My husband and I aren’t having “sexy fun.” WE’ve been together for over 20 years and your cult poured 20 million dollars into taking away our right to get married in our home state.

    And can we point out that the house slaves in the video are the few gay BYU students who haven’t killed themselves? Let’s see them talk about THAT in a video?

  • Joshua L

    @Brett Ellingson: Sexy Fun? I have been with my partner for 2 years going on 3 years. Sex is only one portion of our life. My partner brings me joy, happiness, security, a feeling of self worth. When we are intimate together it is much more than “Sexy Fun,” it is an emotional connection, I do not have sex just for an orgasm, that connection with my partner is emotional and spiritual. It is a connection that is unexplainable unless you actually experience it with your significant other, regardless who they are. Please refrain from diminishing my relationship to “sexy fun.”

  • RedAssault

    @Joshua L: it just proves what we’ve always known… Mormons are incapable of actual emotion. In the movie “Latter Days” the mother says very authoritatively “men don’t love, it’s women who bring love to a relationship.” But of course, Mormon women are sold to their husbands. So to Mormon women, love is just another responsibility like doing the dishes and cleaning the grout.

    To Mormons, a 30-year relationship is “sexy fun.”

    To Mormons, sex is just rape…. just… fun for the man and a duty for the women.

  • Chad

    This video is sickening!!!! The Mormon hand that feeds u, will also, condemned u to singleness, strip away ur right to marry, make u feel like HORSE SHIT, all while having the smile of a serial killer, and the compassion of a politician. They’ll do this while the straight Mormons, find their soul mate, fall in love, and get married al of this thrown in ur face. “Sorry u cant be like me, with u being gay and all, but hey watch me do it instead. Oh, almost forgot, here’s some compassion for ya!” Hypocritical bastards!!!!!

  • RedAssault

    Haha… if you check the Youtube Channel, those cowards couldn’t even take the heat from the comments. they deleted them all and blocked comments altogether.

    Go home and cry to Mommy…

    Oh wait… mommy hates you.

    Well… maybe one of your daddy’s other wives might be nice to you?

  • Brett Ellingson

    @RedAssault: I don’t mean that being gay is all about sex; I honestly have no idea how you got that from what I wrote. I am saying that it is wrong of you to expect people to severely disrupt their college careers and throw away their close connections as flagrantly as some here would advise. These students are making a real effort to reach out to the community they grew up in and love, and they are making huge waves. You would do well to tone down the hypersensitivity and your tendency to stereotype and dehumanize those you disagree with (“mormon subhuman swine”?).

  • RedAssault

    @Brett Ellingson: You “honestly” don’t now where I got that you were saying that being gay was all about sex when you called it “sexy time?”



    Those aliens …I mean… “students” are just shoveling money into the Mormon bank accounts. Add up their total incomes for their entire lives. Then multiply the total by 10% to find how much money those freaks will give to the Mormons. I doubt it will equal how much the Mormon Corporation gave to promote Proposition 8. Not even close.

    As far as you feeling so hard fucking done by, getting called “mormon subhuman swine,” Stop being a mormon, and maybe we’ll stop thinking of you like that.

    Until then? oink.



  • SFHarry

    This video reminds me of when I went to tennis camp at 13 even though I hated playing tennis. It felt so good when I decided never to go back to tennis camp.

  • David

    As a former mormon who grew up in Utah, you have no idea how brave it was of them to film this video in the first place. These students are being honest. It can get better, but you have to really work for it. Rather than run away to another college, as you are suggesting they do, they are sticking around, in one of the most homophobic campuses in the country, to fight to make it better. You should show some respect.

  • DouggSeven

    “Hey gays, we’re in a recession and we need students – aka your money. We have this fringe group who we don’t really recognize – but you are free to partake in pity-party discussions about being gay all you want (just don’t actually talk about what you do behind closed doors or plan ‘hook-ups’).”

    This is what I got aout of this. Who in their right mind would still want to go or stay?

  • Paul

    Religion is the antithesis of love.

  • House of Cabbagé

    “We’ve never been able to figure out why some people cling to a faith that rejects them”

    Huh?! Maybe they believe the faith is true. What are they supposed to do – pick a gay friendly faith they don’t believe in?

  • the other Greg

    I was hoping to hear more about the magic underwear.

  • kawneekwa

    The come ’round when they know it’s about money.

  • Lefty

    @David: Agreed. Good luck to them all.

  • Cam

    @J: said…

    “It’s not productive (or good messaging on the part of our LGBT community) to ever say, “A certain group is…. X.””

    I believe you are wrong for 2 reasons.

    1. Bad PR is one of the driving forces for change in the Mormon Church, it is the reason they stopped barring blacks from full membership.

    2. Some of the change in attitudes in the rank and file Mormon membership is BECAUSE they have been raised to try to put on a face of a happy perfect person to the outside world and it is extremely upsetting for then to think that outsiders don’t see them as a happy perfect Mormon, but simply as a bigot because they are associated with a bigoted organization.

    So the very fact that the church has been called out on it’s horrific bigotry is driving change. Every single gay Mormon friend I have has lost at least one person in their lives who was gay do to suicide directly attributable to the church’s attitudes.

  • Bipolar Bear

    We need to beware of just sharing ‘war stories’. They don’t provide hope or a way out.

  • tookietookie

    It’s a very psychologically healthy and fulfilling step to leave Mormonism officially for good. As someone who has done it, I know. These kids are trying to force something as vast as their beauty, goodness, and intrinsic personal value into this trash bin of a “religion”. What you see in their eyes is the pain of that dissonance.

  • london89

    This video makes me really sad! Looking into these young sad eyes won’t give any other kids courage for their future. Sorry, but this shouldn’t be used for the “It Gets Better” campaign.

    I feel really sorry for these people, because I often tend to forget how many conservative areas are still in the world where LGBT isn’t seen as something usual and ordinary. Living in Berlin and London it is so common, you see it everywhere and nobody cares about it.
    I wish all of them a lot of bravery for their future. It WILL BE BETTER!

  • 1equalityUSA

    The manipulative elders sat around in council and decided to “allow” this video to be made in an effort to do damage control sustained after getting slapped by politics. Some of these posters above sound as though they are dressed in white shirts and ties and stationed on the doorstep. Your strap-the-family-dog-to-the-roof-until-he-blows- Romney will never be president, no matter how much you morph into a “gay friendly” cult. So give it up. We are not buying it.

  • rainbow

    You can read my response to your flippant review of BYU’s It Get Better Video at my blog, rainbowcoloredsouth

  • lenoxus

    hypothetically, the Mormon church could actually reform, coupled of course with a list of a thousand apologies. (Hypothetically, a talking hippo could tell me the winning lottery numbers.)

    But I’m not sure even that has to happen in order for it to be “okay” to be a gay Mormon.

    Can you be a gay Jew? Or a gay Christian? The Bible suggests otherwise! Then again, by the same argument you can’t be Christian and oppose slavery and sexual oppression of women, or a pro-life Christian who opposes polygamy. Anyway, at this point there’s a pretty well-established gay Christian community so I don’t see much of a problem there except insofar as no one should be Christian, period,

    It seems the real issue is with the institution, the LDS. Plenty of Mormons aren’t part of the main church, though, and dispute its legitimacy. True, a lot of those folks are fundamentalist polygamists, but my point is that if they are “allowed” to be Mormon than so can gay people, just like you can be a gay Catholic who opposes the Catholic Church.

  • JAW

    WOW… Did most of you folks actually watch and listen to this video??? I doubt it.

    This video is was great… here are GLBT students going to one of the most conservative and anti GLBT schools in the world. It took courage to come out for everyone on campus, their families, friends, neighbors to see. They are truly showing that it really can get better.

    Being Mormon, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim and many other faiths is not just about going to services once a week for an hour. The faith becomes a part of who you are. You live the faith daily. Your extended family, friends neighbors are also a part of it. For many GLBT people their church is more important to them then sexual identity. We learned about our religion and it’s beliefs, expectations, rules long before we even knew what sexual identity was.

    Being GLBTS (S is for Straight) is a part of my, and most peoples lives… It is NOT the only part. Religion (or lack of religion) is a part, work, play etc are also parts. Many people on here seem to have made their sexual identity the main, and perhaps the only part, of their lives. To me that is very sad.

    I applaud, and I Thanks these students for having the courage to let others know that IT DOES GET BETTER!

  • 1equalityUSA

    Our identity is immutable, religion is a choice. Bigoted religious leaders created this rift. It was only on this one aspect of our lives that they chose to attack, discounting us as merely sexual beings and not taking into account the spiritual, emotional, everyday relationships that is our reality. I remember commenting that women don’t want to be seen a solely sexual, they want to be seen as human beings with capacity beyond sex, but the LDS and Catholics, and the Fundies, would never let up on this. I find it ironic that JAW now turns it around to benefit their side. Outrageous!

  • 1equalityUSA

    September 30th, 2009:

    Would God rather we hide who we are, outwardly lie about our sexual identities, enter into empty marriages with these secrets, and not be truthful? Gays are lumped into one, big, amorphous category of sin by others who sin on a daily basis. Women don’t want to be solely defined by their sexuality, a very small part of a being’s personhood. What makes you think that gays want to be defined solely by this very small aspect of our being? God knows the truth about every person breathing, so to “pull off” a fake heterosexual life for the sake of being loved and accepted by humans (of this day) is not only dishonest, but pathetic. It is dehumanizing to sum up people based on this very small aspect of their personhood. Have integrity and don’t let anyone tell you that God hates you. God will likely consider that the worse offense. Be honest and truthful. (oh, and remember, we need to love the bigot, hate the bigotry.)
    Posted by: 1EqualityUSA | September 30, 2009 at 06:15 PM

    Read more here: http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2009/09/court-dismisses-suit-by-lesbian-who-couldnt-see-dying-partner-at-miamis-jackson-memorial-hospital.html#storylink=cpy

  • Looked In

    I can say this much: There is nothing kinkier than a gay Mormon. While I welcome any relaxation of their policies, true acceptance will come at the cost of some of the most creatively twisted BDSM on earth.

  • jimmy j

    Hooray for gay BYU students reaching out to their fellow gay brothers and sisters, who may not have any hope left. As a BYU graduate (2009) and former Mormon, I can see how this video might be the only thing that keeps some gay BYU students from doing the unthinkable. When I was there and while I was coming to understand my sexuality, I thought I was literally the only person at BYU who was gay (how delusional). Luckily, I did not have to battle depression like so many others. That intense feeling of loneliness compounded with depression would push anybody to dire straits.

    I’m sure it is hard for those of you who did not go to BYU to understand how much of an impact this video will have on the lives of gay Mormons, particularly those who are BYU students. It will let them know that they are not alone and that there are people who really do care about them.

    I am not an LDS apologist (I know several gay Mormons who, despite their conflict with the church’s stance on homosexuality, will go to the ends of the earth defending the church). I am no longer a believer of their faith. I am not advocating any gay persons go to BYU (many, like myself, don’t come to terms with their sexuality until they are already there). I am simply here to give my support to those students (I guarantee no ‘Elders’ were involved in it’s production) who made this video and to those gay Mormon students who feel that they are alone. If you can’t take it at BYU any longer, transfer to another school (I guarantee you’ll be happier). If you feel you have to stay at BYU, find people who will support you like those in the video. You are not alone.

  • jimmy j

    P.S. When I’m rich, I’m going to start a scholarship fund for gay students looking to transfer out of BYU :)

  • Ogre Magi

    Mormonism is probably one of the worst christspawned religions!

  • JAW


    I am not apologetic for religion… My point was to suggest that for many religion is also cultural. using Utah and Mormons… 60% of the population identifies as Mormon… Many laws (like Booze and Bars) are written with their ideals in mind. When you grow up believing, living with all others who believe in most of the principles, it becomes a part of you.

    I find it interesting the lack of support that some GLBT people give to others in the community. Some almost seem to be BULLIES to LGBT’s that are members of certain faiths.
    Perhaps it is time to stop the bulling and start lending support.

    I support these students for the courage that it took to do the video. I hope that you all will also

  • 1equalityUSA

    It is one thing if your culture lives by it’s creed in Utah and it’s another to leach into politics and force your beliefs onto the rest of us, an example of that is Prop H8 and Robert P. George giving how to speeches at BYU. That is bullying, not standing up for separation of church and state.

  • Joshua L

    @JAW: As an ex mormon and a gay man this video is a slap in the face at the efforts that have been made in behalf of these students. You just do not get it, and never will. This is not bullying, it is truly disheartening that these wonderful students acknowledge their homosexuality, but believe they can never act on it or find love. How sad, that is an awful life. I have been with my partner for some time now, he brings me joy, security, he is there through the rough times, the happy times, and all of the in between. Being intimate is wonderful, a connection emotionally and spiritually. I am so sad for these people, put yourself in the shoes of ex mormons who are gay and who have been fighting this battle for years, even decades. This video is a double edged sword, it is a start, but also sort of hurts the efforts we have been making. Just imagine your life as a straight individual, you are forbidden to find love and act on your desires. What kind of life do you lead?

  • john85

    I don’t understand all the commenters who think that these students should just transfer out of BYU. That might make their own lives easier, but it would also slow down social change. Support for gay rights has gone up dramatically in the past few years, not because gay people are all fleeing to communities where they are already accepted, but because more people are coming out and taking a stand wherever they happen to be, including conservative communities, religious institutions, and rural areas. I can’t speak for BYU students, but I recently graduated from Notre Dame, which is not exactly a welcoming place for gays. It wasn’t the easiest four years of my life, but I know quite a few people whose attitudes became much more accepting because they knew me. Simply being an out gay person at a place like Notre Dame or BYU or any other less progressive community can make a real difference. Good luck to the kids who made this video; hopefully their efforts will make things get better.

  • JAW

    @Joshua L:

    I did not hear any of them say that they could not act or find Love due to their beliefs. There are few people that follow church doctrine 100%. There are groups within most major religions for GLBT people. Those groups are welcoming and not trying to get people to change. They are groups that give GLBT a place away from the hate coming from both sides.

    For you to suggest that those students are in an awful life is Bullying The hate of fellow GLT people needs to stop.

    These students need our support and congratulations for coming out… they do not need people like u telling them that they are living an awful life, That they have have hurt the effort. You do not know them all or any of them personally… do you??

  • Joshua L

    @JAW: Are you even Mormon? Your sort of Naive, if they EVER act on their homosexual tendencies they will be KICKED OUT of BYU and they will be Excommunicated from the church, your sort of missing the whole idea. The church only allows you to admit you may have these tendencies, you are FORBIDDEN to act on them, as students of BYU they cannot act on them and if they are secretly doing so they are breaking the honor code and will be kicked out if found out. Before you try and defend someone for their beliefs I suggest you actually educated yourself concerning their beliefs.

  • 1equalityUSA

    Jaw, the Mormons have caused irreparable damage the GLBT communities, along with the Catholics and all the other short sighted, worldly minded, faithless, politically pandering pulpit puppets. Even if they, indeed, funneled all sorts of hate-inspired cash to get their laws on the books, it is only a temporary, short-sighted, win. The laws will be over-turned Constitutionally, but the misguided religious leaders will have lost spiritual face. Any church leader tugging on the appendages of politicians proves to me that they have so little faith in their creed, they rely on force, political manipulation. It won’t work like that. Repeating ourselves is so tedious! Here, from Feb 8, 2010:

    Equality will win because the Constitution of the United States cannot allow legally sanctioned discrimination. Our framework is bigger than ourselves. It will exist long after we are dead and equality will prevail. Foolishly, the tedious Right is busily handing out flyers to high school students. Misinformation has been a long standing strategy. Offering students a chance at having their orientations treated, as though it were a case of uncontrolled diabetes, is misinformation. The more they growl on about “behavior” and “choice” the more they can Red Herring the real legal matter. Equality for all Americans, even the unpopular ones, is supported by the framework of the Constitution. This big idea may be challenged, but it must not be defeated. If the rights of GLBT Americans are suspended this century, who will they target next? Freedom will have to win. The Constitution is above mere justices and politicians. Religion could win hearts, but not acting like children, playing with toy machine guns, shooting Bible bullets, (their version-hollow points), they could win hearts. That’s the thing about teaching the Truth, it has a certain pitch. No need to earn anything, it just happens. When money and power come into the picture, the Word becomes tainted. Greed is a creepy crawler. Fear is a grand mobilizer of money.

    Full story here: http://www.queerty.com/if-prop-8s-supporters-make-an-issue-out-of-judge-walker-being-gay-heres-how-to-shut-it-down-20100207/#ixzz1rNXusCPz

  • Joshua L

    @JAW: To clarify, seeing as you lack an understanding of the Mormon church, in order to attend the university mormons MUST have a letter of recommendation from their bishop of their local ward. As a student of BYU you have to abide by the teachings of the Church, you cannot pick and choose what you wish to live by as you implied, just FYI. If they are having homosexual relations in secret they are breaking the honor code, and if they are ever caught and found out, they will be packing their bags, and forced to go home. They CANNOT act on their tendencies and find love and be mormon. It is as simple as that, sorry to break it to you. I was a mormon for 18 years, I would know. These students have subscribed to a life of soul wrenching horror. This video is deceptive, people like you who do not understand the mormon religion draw false conclusions. This video was craftily filmed in a way that it is appealing to the beholder. It is way to broad and general.

  • 1equalityUSA

    Here’s an excerpt from the speech that Robert P. George, the brains behind NOM, the hateful Princeton Professor, the man with many degrees and his hand on the robes of the Supreme Court Justices , had to say to Brigham Young University Students, back before they were slapped down, back when they were feeling their oats and proud of their accomplishments:

    “Just as the nation could not endure half slave and half free but eventually had to go all one way or all the other, we will not be able to get by with a situation in which some couples are married in one state, not married when they move to or travel through the next, and married again when they reach a third.
    If same?sex marriage is legally recognized in a small number of states, it will spread throughout the nation, either through judicial action under the Constitution’s Full Faith and Credit Clause or by the working of informal cultural pressures. Some states – Utah would be one – may try to hold out, but sooner or later they will be whipped into line.”
    –Robert P. George, Chairman,
    National Organization for Marriage,
    speaking at Brigham Young University,
    October 28, 2008
    Nov 3, 2009 at 7:34 pm · @Reply · Flag

    Full story here: http://www.queerty.com/maggie-gallagher-admits-a-gay-relationship-is-better-than-her-marriage-20091102/#ixzz1rNbp4rTi

  • Let's be real

    It gets better is just a bullshit PR campaign, nothing more. Telling kids both LGBT and hetero to put up with bullying until they leave school is not constructive advice. It’s cruel. School boards, school administrators, teachers, etc, need to have zero tolerance policy for bullying. It’s not uncommon for teachers to bully unpopular kids themselves. That’s where the changes need to be made… The reason “It Gets Better” caught on with politicians and celebrities is because it’s great PR and it requires absolutely NOTHING from them in the way of real action to stop bullying or teen suicide. Let’s also not forget that the media whore who created IGB Dan Savage is bi phobic, trans phobic, and r acist.

  • SFHarry

    @David: You are right. They are brave and deserve to be acknowledged for it.

  • 1equalityUSA

    Let’s get real, Any time GLBT speaks of the suffering endured at the hands of the homophobic, it’s good, but your right about change needing to come from the top, down. When the dust settles and we conquer bigotry once again, with Constitutional principles, the hatred, the words people have spewed in an effort to conjure up support for their opinions of us, will be retrievable. The internet has all of these hateful words recorded for future generations to see. Robert P. George, Maggie Gallagher, Nancy “wiggling” Elliot of New Hampshire, manipulative pastors, and the unenlightened all will have their words follow them until they take their last breath. The GLBT community has said some fairly heinous things as well. We all will be studied. What a nightmare we all have undergone. Separation of Church and State has never been more relevant. This century it is GLBT targeted. Who’s next?

  • velocifero

    There is no defending Mormonism. They fund hate, right alongside the Catholic church. Sorry, but you are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome if you are a practicing Mormon or Catholic and are gay. It’s the same upside down thinking of someone being a black Tea-Party member (or gay Republican). Romney won’t discuss his Mormonism – he was an elder in the church – so you can’t tell me Mormon bigotry and hatred isn’t in his DNA. (Also, his grandparents had to flee the US and live in Mexico so they could practice their polygamy. That’s very patriotic — religion first — country second.) So please, don’t stand in front of me and say you can be gay and also justify being in a religious cult that profits off it’s bigotry of you – and is responsible for keeping this country from going forth into the 21st Century. Denial. Denial. Denial. The kids in this video are sad and need to be told to accept their sexuality over the fact religion that Mormonism is.

  • the crustybastard

    Kids, you feel conflicted because your feelings and your religion are incompatible.

    Your feelings are real. It’s your religion that’s false.

    Clinging to a false religion that chooses to demean and vilify you is pointlessly masochistic. Mormonism a demonstrably bogus religion invented by a man who was, to put it charitably, a convicted fraud. Phony superstitions will not bring you comfort or provide you anything except more brainwashing and more misery.

    Walk away.

    If you really want life to get better, try it without the intellectually retarding and psychologically crippling influence of religion.

  • J Stratford

    I actually thought the video would help gays in BYU who are contemplating suicide. Its not enough, correct. They still have to say that gay is ookay. But for a homophobic school, finally having a GSA is great. These gays did something amazing, they should be commended for it.The school does not deserve any of the credit

  • 1equalityUSA

    Here’s more from Robert P. George, who was appointed by House Speaker, John Boehner to the U.S. Commission for International Religious Freedom, yes, Boehner, the man defending DOMA when our Constitutional Scholar President said he would no longer defend this discriminatory law. There’s no end to how he cloaks hatred of gays into pearly prose with a plan. The Republicans need to be taught a huge lesson. Inequality cannot be supported. Women need to revolt too. The Republicans have gone too far, micro-managing our lives and freedom.


  • Oh my!

    J. Stratford at BYU there are not out gay men or LGBT people and people are closeted there. A gay male friend of mine who is Mormon used to have sex with closeted men there but he didn’t attend there.

  • Oh well

    velocifero there are actually A LOT of LGBT Catholics, Mormons, and even Republicans and there’s nothing wrong with any of these things.

  • 1equalityUSA

    There is nothing wrong with any of these things unless tax exempt church dollars are being funneled into political fights. The LDS, Catholics, and anyone else practicing politics from the pulpit need to lose their tax exempt status.

  • nikko

    @the crustybastard: This. My friend, your post is perfection!!!

  • OhmNancy

    Holy cow. Must we Mormons argue so much about scripture? I would like to introduce myself and some facts 1. I am Lesbian. 2. I graduated from BYU 3. I am a minority. 4. I served a Mission for the Church 5. I sure wish this panel happened while I was there, but it was bad enough being a Minority. Now I believe: Being Gay is a gift from God. It is a gift of creativity, sensitivity, light and beauty.

    I bawled when I saw the videos and so much came up for me that I thought was already healed over the past 8 years. My heart goes out to all the brave Mormons who are speaking their truth. I’m so very very proud of you! Back when I went to BYU, “Gay” just didn’t exist, so I didn’t really know what I was. I just knew I had feelings for women that I didn’t understand or entertain, fell in love with Gay guys, (closest thing you can get to a girl!) and, like many of the people in the forum, I got way involved in my callings, even served a Mission. Before my Mission I told my bishop of my challenge and he asked me if I ever entertained the attraction I had to women. I had not. He said not to worry about it and sent me off. After my mission, and falling in love with a woman, I told my Bishop of my “challenge” and spent several months in Mormon therapy to de-Gay-ize me. At least I did not get the shock treatment. It was hard enough just feeling like a totally alone outcast who God was upset with. And of course I was put on probation! WOW! They really don’t know what to do with the Gay women in the church, and are much harder on the poor men. Many of whom I knew at BYU and finally came out years later – if they didn’t end their lives. I was heartbroken, torn and blind sighted by the whole experience. Back at BYU, we just didn’t believe in “Gay” and knew for sure that wasn’t my issue. I found out after defending the church I joined as a teenager for 15 years, (no, they’re not racist! The church is TRUE!) researching every piece of Mormon Doctrine I could find, praying, fasting and meeting with church officials like Sherry Dew, that it was NOT true. I’m not going to go on a rant about why because I want this comment to be read. I just encourage Mormons to do their homework, as they preach. There’s scientific proof that it is false because of DNA evidence of Native Americans, and seriously – don’t you see a little glitch of a problem if you have a so-called “Only true church on the face of the earth” that suddenly says, “Oops. A few things need to be changed here” Do you really think Jesus made mistakes when they apparently set up the church? DOH! Nope. Because men made the Mormon church as they do all religions. I learned on my Mission from a wise man, that all religions are man-made and are man’s way of trying to find God. I’m so glad I served a mission.Like many other organized religions, the church is a business corporation that makes money. The church will continue to change because they are losing a lot of people and popularity. This is not good for a business! Outside Utah people think very little of “homophobic racist Mormons”. Of course there are many good people in the church and I still defend it from time to time. My point: it’s hard enough being Gay. Had I known the church was not true, I would have not had to be robbed of so many years of being who I truly was and feeling so alone and now as a result, I’m lacking in dating experience to say the least. The guilt, the pain, the sadness – all leads to depression and illness. I left the church because it was not in alignment with my truth. It made me a stronger person and I met some wonderful people, but my message to the Gays: Being gay is a gift of creativity and light from God – and a good hint to GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN and discover who you really are! I’ve never felt closer to God and Spirit than I am now, after leaving the church. Truth is light, peace, and joy. Do Gay people really receive this in the Mormon church? REALLY? I used to think I was happy. Truth: If you have to say you’re happy, you’re not really happy. It’s a lie you’re telling yourself. Truth: All organized Religions are man-made. God is within and honestly, since I left, I’ve never felt as much joy in my soul and make a great living in my occupation which was thwarted as a Mormon.

  • Jason

    @Jawsch: As a member of the Church (currently no practicing for other reasons), and a gay man, I can fully state that you CAN be gay and Mormon. Also, the Church teaches that homosexuality is not a choice; we simply choose to act on it. They teach that we should live a life of abstinence. The Church has advanced a lot, but it will never fully endorse the gay lifestyle. I am happy that they recognize that homosexuality is a genetic trait, and not a choice, but I can’t live a life of abstinence like they want me to…

  • Red Assault

    @Jason: There is no such thing as “the gay lifestyle.” and stop calling your former cult a “religion.”

    Yes, you can be gay and Mormon and I guess you can also be a Jewish Nazi. What’s your point?

  • Cam

    @Jason: said…

    “As a member of the Church (currently no practicing for other reasons), and a gay man, I can fully state that you CAN be gay and Mormon. Also, the Church teaches that homosexuality is not a choice; we simply choose to act on it.

    How stupid they are. So being gay isn’t a choice, being Mormon is.

    So God created gays, not Mormons, and yet they church is telling people to ignore what God created and listen to what they’re saying.

    They are anti-God.

  • Barca

    @JAW: Thank you for your comment…being LGBTS (as you put it) is ONE part of our lives and far too many times many in the gay community make being gay the ONLY part of their lives. We all choose to go to religious or secular post-secondary schools for various reasons. I went to a very Christian school on the West Coast (I was told 1/3 of the guys there were gay – I don’t doubt it). At the time my faith was also an important part of my life (now it’s not), it is for these kids at this time too… We are all in different paths in our lives, we can’t expect everyone around us to be at the same point in their life as we are. Applaud them for their courage to speak out for addressing what they know in their world, we shouldn’t scream and yell that they are ignorant because that won’t change their minds. Thanks again for your comment…just a shame some on here can’t see the point you were getting at.

  • JAW

    @Joshua L:
    #77… They also do the same to straight students who act upon their sexuality…

    I am just tired of guye like u and 1equality… Bashing and Bullying other GLBT people

    I am not supporting the church… I AM supporting those students That HAVE more balls then you guys… They are working to change from within… u just ran…

    It is time that GLBT people stop bitching about others bullying us… then those same aholes bully and bash other GLBT’s….

    SHAME ON you!!!!

  • Ozymandias71

    Oh yes, the Mormon ‘We’re not so baaaaad!’ PR spin campaign has now reached new lows – blasting out massive amounts of propaganda hoping that the terrible things they did against the LGBT community will be forgotten.

    Don’t count on it. The LDS church will be paying for their bigotry-as-dogma for a long time to come. And I’m glad for it.

  • RedAssault

    @Ozymandias71: True that. I will never forgive the Mormons for what they did. And that includes the gay ones. They can all rot together. We’ll make sure that they wear that albatross for decades.

  • 1equalityUSA

    The word “bullying” is being over-used and misappropriated in this case. If speaking the truth is bullying in your opinion, then so be it. I did not raise my voice, I gave facts. Spin away, spin some more, but it won’t change the facts. Never did I bully the youngsters, I downed the leadership of the LDS bigoted elders. Go ahead and spin it if it makes you feel better. The leadership of all the churches involved in this anti-LBGT, money-raising, hunt should be ashamed of themselves for throwing their energy and talent and the flock’s money down a political rat-hole. They lost face and gained nothing but disdain. They showed that they have so little faith in their Word that they resorted to political means by which to force their beliefs onto others who should not be subjected to the religion or cults of others. Separation of Church and State has never been more relevant. If that is bullying, you are too thin-skinned to be voicing your opinions.

  • JAW


    LOL… tooo funny… You as most bullies do not see anything wrong with saying nasty things about others… you bully them because you do not like their religion. Others bully us because they do not like that we are gay. We are talking about individual GLBT members of a church… not some of the narrow minded leaders

    When a straight person says that being gay is an awful life… that is bullying… when a gay says it about another gays religion that too is bullying… there is no difference. Both statements were cruel to say to someone.

    folks like you and josh are bullies.
    time that you change your ways

  • 1equalityUSA

    “It’s time to change your ways.”..and if you don’t we will make you.

  • 1equalityUSA

    Definition of Bully:

    LDS Actions Against Marriage Equality
    Mormons in the House of Representatives Vote for Discrimination
    Despite LDS Crusade, Senate Rejects Ban on Gay Marriage
    Anti-Gay Actions Carried Out by the LDS Church
    Prelude to the National “Defense of Marriage” Campaign

    Despite LDS Crusade, Senate Rejects Ban on Gay Marriage
    “The Church got sucked into the jets of cynical GOP political strategy”

    The Mormon Vote in the Senate

    Orrin Hatch: Yea
    Bob Bennett: Yea
    Gordon Smith: Yea
    Mike Crapo: Yea
    Harry Reid: Nay
    See Full Senate Voteby Matt Christensen
    June 2006

    The U.S. Senate rejected on June 7 a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage, despite a carefully orchestrated political campaign in which the LDS Church joined a right-wing religious coalition and urged Mormon congregations to help pass the bill. If passed, the measure would have started the process of writing discrimination against gay and lesbian couples into the Constitution.

    Mormon senators Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, Bob Bennett, R-Utah, Mike Crapo, R-Idaho, and Gordon Smith, R-Oregon, voted for the so called “Marriage Protection Act,” while Mormon Senator and minority leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., voted against it.

    “For me it is clear the reason for this debate is to divide our society, to pit one against another,” Reid wrote on his website. “This is another one of the President’s efforts to frighten, to distort, to distract, and to confuse America. It is this Administration’s way of avoiding the tough, real problems that American citizens are confronted with each and every day.”

    Columnist Holly Mullen critiqued the role of the LDS Church in the stunt. “On the amendment matter — whether intentional or not — the [LDS] church got sucked into the jets of cynical GOP political strategy,” Mullen wrote June 8 in The Salt Lake Tribune. “Bush took a desperate dive to shore up his lagging approval and his party by pushing a plan destined to fail from the first. For LDS leaders to align themselves personally with this transparent political ploy seems beneath its public reputation for repudiating hands-on political involvement, and frankly, for trying to do good.”

    “The president failed this time,” Mullen added. “As did the church.”

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