RIP

Casey DeSantis’ dreams of morphing into Melania Trump have been prematurely aborted

You’ve likely heard by now that Ron “Don’t Say Gay” DeSantis finally threw in the towel over the weekend and suspended his 2024 presidential campaign. And perhaps nobody is more devastated than his homophobic wife, Casey, since this means her dreams of becoming the next Melania Trump have officially gone up in smoke.

“It’s clear to me that a majority of Republican primary voters want to give Donald Trump another chance,” the gay-hating governor said in a gloomy video posted to social media yesterday. “They watched his presidency get stymied by relentless resistance, and they see Democrats using lawfare to this day to attack him.”

DeSantis ended his message by endorsing Trump for president and slamming the only other candidate left in the field, Nikki Haley, by calling her a “repackaged form of warmed-over corporatism.” Meow.

His exit from the race came just two days before the New Hampshire primary, where he was expected to come in a very distant third.

Mrs. DeSantis was her husband’s biggest cheerleader throughout his approximately eight months on the presidential campaign trail, during which he and his PAC somehow managed to burn through a reported $100 million and walk away with virtually nothing to show for it, aside from 23,420 votes in the Iowa primary. (We did the math, and that means DeSantis spent approximately $4,269.85 per vote.)

She accompanied him on his most awkward campaign stops (like his trip to a rural baseball field in Iowa), embarrassed herself in interviews (like the time she encouraged people to commit voter fraud or the time she tried to say being nicknamed “Walmart Melania” was actually a compliment), recorded that deeply homophobic ad in which she alluded to gay groomers coming for America’s children, and even claimed to have knocked on over 3 million doors begging people to vote for her husband.

Speaking of the “Walmart Melania” moniker, which stems from a Daily Beast column titled “Casey DeSantis Is the Walmart Melania” and published last summer, Mrs. DeSantis never missed an opportunity to talk about her fondness for the ex-FLOTUS, who she’s only met a handful of times.

At the Florida Republican Party’s “Freedom Summit” in November, she addressed the nickname by saying, “Awesome! That’s the greatest thing you could call me. For me to be in the same sentence as Melania is a wonderful thing. She’s gorgeous. That’s great! I love it! Score!”

In an interview with ex-NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch (what a combo), she called the nickname “a major victory,” saying, “They’ve also called me Walmart Melania, which by the way, being in the same sentence with Melania, I consider that a major victory”

And she referenced it during a Fox News appearance, saying, “One thing that the corporate media did get right about me: I do shop at Walmart!”

Casey often tried to mimic Melania’s high-end designer looks with cheaper, less stylish knockoffs purchased from discount department stores.

Her most obvious nod to the ex-FLOTUS’s fashion was when she wore a black leather jacket emblazoned with an outline of the state of Florida, an alligator, and the words, “Where woke goes to die.” Many compared it to Melania’s infamous $39 army green jacket from Zara with the words “I really don’t care. Do U?” scrawled on the back.

With her husband officially out of the running for president, it’s unclear what Casey will do next since, over the past several years, she has let herself be defined by him and his ambitions.

After he was elected governor, she quit her job so she could focus on being a full-time wife, mom, and homophobe. Her Twitter X bio literally reads: “First Lady of Florida. Wife to @RonDeSantis. Proud Mom to Madison, Mason and Mamie. Fighting for our Great American Comeback.”

There’s been some chatter that she’s considering a run for Florida governor after Ron’s second term ends in 2026, but she’s denied those rumors.

A November poll conducted by the University of North Florida Public Opinion Research Lab found her leading in a cesspool of potential Republican candidates.

A total of 788 registered Florida Republicans participated in the survey. 22% of them said they wanted Mrs. DeSantis to be their next governor, despite the fact that she’s never won an election or held public office before, nor does she have a law degree or any executive leadership experience.

With so much still uncertain, there is one thing we know for sure: she’ll never be America’s first lady.

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