Yule log

This Christmas-themed gay fan fiction will keep you hot all winter

What’s better than smutty gay fan fiction? Yuletide smutty gay fan fiction! Yes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year for imagining your favorite characters getting themselves on the naughty list, and we’ve rounded up barely safe-for-work fan fiction excerpts below.

Santa Claus Is a Criminal Mastermind
Sherlock Holmes and John Watson deduce clever ways of releasing the stress of their first Christmas with Sherlock’s family as a married couple: “The rest of that thought was consumed by the hungry, biting kiss, and John gave as good as he got. He tangled his hands in Sherlock’s jacket and pulled him closer. Without breaking the kiss, Sherlock reached out with one long arm to latch the door shut.”

Related: Hark! The most unfortunate Christmas decoration fails of all time

An Overly Wrapped Present
Tony Stark a.k.a. Iron Man finally succeeds in disrobing Doctor (Stephen) Strange: “Tony looked down at Stephen, lit by the hundreds of light white lights on the tree. The soft lighting showed everything, the sheen of sweat, the flush across his chest, his mussed hair starting to go a bit curly in places, and the light eyes glaring at him.”

Lighted Up!
An adult Harry Potter gets tangled up trying to take sexy photos of himself for Draco Malfoy: “A naked Harry Potter was lying on the floor, wrapped up in Christmas lights, with a camera closely next to him. The strand of the lights was too tight to be comfortable, tying his hands together … His words and complaints were muffled. They came out like gasps and hissings and Draco was having problems at remaining concentrated in the situation.”

Make the Yuletide Gay
Matt Murdock a.k.a. Daredevil tells law partner-turned-romantic partner Foggy Nelson that he starred in a series of Santa-themed porn videos: “Foggy does this fun thing with his voice when he’s flirting, deeper than normal and rich, that Matt hasn’t told him would probably go over really well with a director. Foggy always jokes that he doesn’t have the looks for porn and Matt doesn’t really know what he looks like, but he knows how he sounds and feels.”

Related: 10 last-minute gifts that will arrive before Xmas and keep the yuletide gay

The Spirit of Giving
Peter Parker a.k.a. Spider-Man decides to give Wade Wilson a.k.a. Deadpool an XXX-tra special gift for Christmas: “While he had been thinking about it a lot, it wasn’t something he had done before, but he was going to make sure that Wade enjoyed it anyway. ‘You’ll have to bear with me, this is my first time.’”

Whipped Cream and Second Chances
Queer as Folk’s Brian isn’t letting Justin focus on cooking a Christmas feast. “‘Oh, it’s hard.’ ‘Well, duh.’ … ‘No, I meant the cream. It’s time to add the eggs, sugar, and vanilla seeds and put it in the freezer.’”