Just to be clear: We’re laughing at you. Not with you.

You do deserve some major props though, and here they are:

You’re obsessed with penis. And we think that’s awesome. Props. Although the pseudonyms Mark Twain and Anastasia Beaverhausen were already taken, you still came up with “Third Eagle of the Apocalypse” and “Co-Profit of the End Times” which are stellar pen names. Classy, really. Props.

The Denver Airport is a totally random place to look for dick. You really have gone the extra mile to see some wieners, so once again… Mad props.

It’s amazing that you can say “phallic worship is satanic and evil” with a straight face. You speak clearly and slowly about penises so no one will miss a detail. If you think it’s unclear, you outline the penis or say “let’s take a closer look” so we can get a nice good glimpse of the cock n’ balls. It’s particularly nice when you finger the “testicle area.” No homo, but props to you, bro.

A quick look at your channel will reveal equally delicious and juicy material such as “If you use Condoms you will not be Raptured” and “The Antichrist is a Loser” and “Denver Murals are Hidden Warnings to Barack Obama.” You’re hysterical. Props.

Finally, you chose to wear a pink polo. Super Major Props. Thanks for putting the DICK in ridiculous. You rock.

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