Each week Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week.
Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].
According to Bloomberg News, 0ther highlights from the “Aircraft Standards” manual include:
- The models or actors who work as cabin attendants must never respond to Jeffries and Smith with anything other than “no problem.”
- Hats are banned unless it dips below 40 degrees, in which case, brims must be two-inches thick and pulled down to the middle of the forehead.
- When’s 50 degrees or below, crew members are required to wear winter coats zipped up to the forth button from the bottom. “The lowest button should be left undone.”
- Male staff should regularly spritz their uniforms with Abercrombie & Fitch cologne and, before guests go to sleep, crew should spray the bedding with sleep spray.
- Crew can eat meals only on flights lasting longer than two hours, and only food that is not “aromatic.
- Eight washcloths (exactly eight) must be “tri-folded” and placed behind the vanity in the washroom. Toilet paper must be pre-torn into squares.
Jeffries rescued Abercrombie from obscurity twenty years ago, turning it into a household brand that used male sexuality to shock parents and titillate teens. But recently the 68-year-old exec has come under fire as the company’s profits have slumped.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
In 2010, Jeffries had to give up unlimited access to the jet, though its not clear if that was related to any Mommy Dearest-type diva trips.
But, hey, we shouldn’t be surprised Jeffries is surrounding himself with hot manflesh—he’s just doing market research! “We hire good-looking people in our stores because good-looking people attract other good-looking people,” he once said. “And we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”
All together now: What a douche!
Captain proton
What’s the point of having sh!tloads of money if you can’t use it to act crazy and demean your employees?
Dumdum
Did Gary Busey and Nick Nolte have a love child? That face would scare the Gay out of anyone. Maybe he should consider a new career in conversion therapy.
ShowMeGuy
When you don’t actually do any of the work to earn tons of money yourself…….tons of money will make you act bat-shit crazy.
James from chicago
Dirty old man.People money should buy them anything.
tardis
How people still shop there is beyond me.
Gigi Gee
I used to work at a high end restaurant and served the owner and CEO of Joe Fresh (the man behind the original Club Monaco) and his trophy beard, the “designer” of Pink Tartan. No one else could stomach them so it was always down to me. They weren’t as über creepy as Jeffries (then again, I never had to service them on a private jet) but they certainly had their peculiarities, as did their entourage of privileged, prima donna friends. They’d air-kiss me whenever we met – so familiar yet they never committed my name to memory – and would always squeal with delight whenever they came in, saying “Ooooooooh! So nice to seeeeee you!!!!” I learned to bring them what they wanted BEFORE they even knew they wanted it. Much easier than way. So appreciative when they left. Hand-pumping, back-slapping, the works. Sadly their ebullience never found its way onto the credit card slip. I never managed to crack 5%.
Dc
He looks and acts like Leona Helmsley.
Ron Jackson
I hope those boys got paid well.
Cam
Can somebody please tell these out of touch CEO’s that plastic surgery makes them look weird and makes their faces very unpleasent to see.
Dumdum
That guy puts the creep in creepy. An All Hallows Eve mask of that guy would scare Freddy Krueger.
Dumdum
@Cam: The human face can take ONE well done tuck, after that, it is ALL bad bro. I die laughing every time I see those Botox Bi**hes with the weird upper lip that looks out of place and never moves. Dude, people are so f**ked up sometimes. You have to laugh. Modern society as a whole does not value it’s elders. How can they, when spoiled rich nut-jobs get all the press??? With the biological imperative to breed, even though there are over 7 billion bodies on this rock spinning in space? W.T.F. do you expect? That they will have YOUR common sense? YOUR sense of right and wrong? An inkling of propriety and how to behave? For me that ship sailed years ago.
The Real Mike in Asheville
Lets see: real gay bashings with real people being beaten; bigoted politicians still calling us evil dog fuckers; gay exiles forcibly returned to homelands where they are subject imprisonment; whole Eastern governments denying free speech for GLBTs; GoProud endorsing major-league anti-gay repugnants; Chick-fil-A doubling down with their “No Fruits” ads; meningitis outbreak among NY gays; etc, etc, etc., and this guy is the douche of the week?
Sure, he seems pretty creepy, so creep of the week; but lets reserve Douche of the Week for real anti-gay douchebags.
MikeE
@The Real Mike in Asheville: amen!
iBLOW
I never shopped there anyway the clothes are to small of my big butt plus its over priced for no reason
Aidan8
@The Real Mike in Asheville: Agreed. Creepy out-of-touch old botox-queen doesn’t compare to the others you mention.
James F
It’s funny but Michael Jeffries is the type of customer that the store does not want in it…….LOL
Elaine Lancaster
@The Real Mike in Asheville: You are right on with your comments.
Geoff B
One more facelift on this guy and he’ll be able to pee out of his forehead. Anyone else seeing the similarities between him and Mama Elsa from Real Housewives of Miami?
yaletownman
I never got Abercrombie. The clothes just seemed like this same ole crap year after year. The catalogues were kind of intriguing for a few years but even they became blah. Of course the worse is the aging queens who shop there deluding themselves into thinking that wearing the brand will make people think they are a straight, frat boy. Basically it’s a store for douches run by a douche.
Dumdum
@Geoff B: Oh my Goddess! That was so f**king funny,I have been busting out for the last three hours! I want to marry you . You sweet funny person. I could die right now. Thank you.!!! That was epic.
Jamesblond
I agree with The Real Mike whole-heartedly. Say what you like, but A&F’s popularizing of male muscle has helped corrode the standards of appearance that used to separate straight and gay, and overall — whether you like the clothes or not, and I don’t — we owe them a debt of gratitude. There are far, far worse villains in the world than this oddball….and moreover, this post fails to mention what kind of “hot water” his penchant for sexy stewards has gotten him into, and in the absence of that we have to assume that any water he’s in is lukewarm if it exists at all. I don’t like his botoxed face, which just looks sad and desperate and self-hating, or his weird control-freak attitude, but on the list of douches in the world, he is pretty far down there.
streeteditions
“oddly youthful” This guy looks like leftover Halloween pumpkins! All that money and he looks like this? Toilet paper in squares? He’s not a douche, just an asshole!
D9W
My god! My 98 year old dead aunt looks younger than him!!!
FStratford
I think it’s creepy, but it’s a private jet so the owner can tell who can ride with him. It’s like me and my car. If your farting because your lunch was all beans, you better take the bus. If I had a private jet, I woudl make them wear uniforms too (60’s fashio like bell bottoms and tye dyes).
As long as they did not abuse them and paid them well, for the fact that they would have to deal with 2 primaddonnas… I mean if someone paid me $1M a year to serve douchebags food and wear A&F (which is not necessarily ugly clothes), I would. As long as they dont molest me or lay a hand on me or verbally abuse me, i can deal with snotty “im better than you” people. They are everywhere in New York and Los Angeles and I still love those cities.
Otherwise, I’ll stick to my current respectable job. (or quit if I’m already working for them)
Dumdum
@Jamesblond: OH PLEASE. He is up there with all the rest. What planet do you live on? Planet I got more toys and you suck ass. Or planet all is fair in the free market, and we all love you and the money you spend? Take your pick blonde boy. We need to get rid of these asses take their money give it to poor children so they can go to school and eat good food. And dump ALL of these creeps in the ocean and turn them into crab food.
Hillers
And here I had been wondering what I was going to go as for Halloween. Problemo solved!
robho3
I was a store manager for Abercrombie in the early 90’s and had several encounters with Mr Jefferies. HE IS REALLY STRANGE!! Whenever he came in he would be very touchy feely with me. He also gave us directives for the staff which were way out of line. I used to just ignore things we were told that I knew were WAY out of line. (Such as 80% of our staff should be male and that we should recruit from the local frat houses. We were told we had to were a minuim of 3 layers of shirts and we had to wear Red Wing work boots which costs over $200. They also prefered the staff to be white although they never came out and said it). Just a really wierd experience and I never understood how he got away with it. I lasted 2 years there and had to move on.
Dumdum
@robho3:” I never understood how he got away with it’. Maybe because no one had enough balls to say something??? Holy crap, grow a pair!!!
Guillermo3
@Captain proton: Exactly,Captain proton!
That’s why everyone should vote REPUBLICAN.
Guillermo3
@Dc: INSIGHT!,Dc! Maybe he IS Leona.
I wondered what became of her.
Evji108
WTF? This article is ridiculous. What has this man done that a jillion other rich people don’t also do? It’s all harmless enough, they pay good looking young people (normally women) to hang around and serve them and look great at the same time, and you have to follow the house rules and a dress code. Rich people are often fussy, hence the stupid fussy rules of conduct and service. Serving in a private jet like this gets you in with a good crowd, you get to have good clothes and you get to travel and stay in nice hotels. GET OVER IT, it’s not a big deal. This man may have had to much bad plastic surgery and maybe the Abercrombie label is outre and over-the-hill, but Michael Jeffries does not qualify as a major douchebag. He’s just a fairly normal self-absorbed arrogant rich guy, except that he is gay. Go pick on somebody who really deserves this award. What a waste of space and time, surely there are people out there who really deserve this award.
D9W
@Evji108 – I was going to say that Bill Gates is not so over the top, then I remember he can be a pain too. But for the most part from what I remember of him he is real.
Dumdum
@The Real Mike in Asheville: Any suggestions Mike? Living in North Carolina is pretty much hate central, must be plenty in your neck of the woods.
PerryBrass
@Dumdum: Very good comment, and you’re not Dum at all. It’s sad that this guy somehow landed on the square he did, and acts the way he does. Compare him to Mikey Drexler, the head of J. Crew, who’s constantly finding new ways to renew J. Crew, listens to people who work for him and values them, and is straight but values gay men and lesbians highly, and you get an interesting picture. Abercrombie & Fitch is now basically selling itself as a tourist experience; it sells homoeroticism on the downlow. I guess people are gullible enough to buy it. Perry Brass, author of King of Angels.
balehead
He’s had to pay out on a lot of discrimination lawsuits…The guy is a total racist creep…and he’s not too big on equal rights for gays..that’s why he’s D of the W!….
Guillermo3
@Dumdum: Good point,Dumdum!
Call Marcus Bachmann!Obviously,marrying Michele worked for him_
In the opposite way,of course,but it was a landmark in
straight to gay conversion therapy.
Guillermo3
@Dumdum: That was a pretty ignorant comment,
Dumdum! Where do you live?Arizona?
NC has more than it’s share of yahoos,but also way more than it’s share,
much more than he national average of liberal/left freethinkers.
UNC,Chapel Hill was,may still be called Communist Hill by the yahoos.
Have liked some of your comments in the past,but this one sounds like
something from a typical,assumption-making ignorant Yankee.
Dumdum
@Guillermo3: I totally agree. I hitch-hiked through the south years ago and some asshole picked me up. I guess I was too Gay and he dropped me off in the middle of no-where it took two days before I got another ride. So I assume that EVERYONE in the south is an evil homophobic d**k. Sorry Bro. I was totally in love with this guy from South Carolina when I lived in S.F. I loved him and his accent, but he dumped me for a younger hunkier model. So yea I got some baggage.
Guillermo3
@Dumdum: Thanks,Dumdum[cheap sucker
good for buying/giving out ,en masse at Halloween]! I’ve got to run
[wish these god damned posts were private,but.anyway] and will write
more later.BTW:I live in Philadelphia,now,have since 1976.
Best,
Later
mcflyer54
Guess I’m a bit confused here. Didn’t these employees understand the terms and conditions of their employment? Are they working for free? It doesn’t appear as though Jeffries is mistreating, sexually harassing or sexually abusing them. If the job sucks and is intolerable then quit. The guy may look “creepy” and have more than his share of quirks and ideocincraies but It doesn’t make him douche of the week, or even a contender, in my book. I don’t buy A&F clothes but that’s a matter of personal taste but if I did the details about Jeffries provide here would change my shopping habits.
Dumdum
@Guillermo3: I really did not like you at first. My best friends have come from my [email protected] Lets talk OK? I totally love to hate you. Kidding, sort of.
BrokebackBob
@Guillermo3: And just at the moment your vote is tabulated you will look exactly like Jeffries. Your screams will be heard around the world.
Vote Obama and don’t catch Romnesia! It’s worst than HIV/AIDS and it’s the only thing on Earth that is.
Guillermo3
@BrokebackBob: I don’t understand your comment,
BrokebackBob,so I guess that mean I’ll have to scroll back up o mine.
Anyway,I was being sarcastic/trying to be satirical.I don’t think
I’ll every look like Jeffries,not that I’m any longer young and beautiful,
except,I they forgo cremation,perhaps 20 years after I’m dead.
Glad we agree on Willard,and probably on the RNC generally.I’ve been making
a lot of Facebook enemies[some of them my relatives,unfortunately] by
commenting on their pro-Romney posts things like:”Fight to complete the
corporate/fascist take over of America.Vote Republican!”
Guillermo3
@Dumdum: Sounds good, Dumdum!You’re almost
asas sarcastic as I am_maybe we can have a mutual hate-fest.Anyway,
clicking the address you gave just sent me to the Apple mail app,which
is useless,so I’ll have to try google,or Yahoo search it.If I’m
successful,I’ll leave my e-address there. If,not,I’ll leave it in a
message here.Same with continuing my reply above_if your link works and
isn’t to big a pain in the ass:there,otherwise here.
Guillermo3
Guillermo3
@BrokebackBob: I just scrolled back to
my comment[#29]. It was my sarcastic rejoineder to Captain proton’s
beautifully sarcastic comment #1.
Dumdum
@Guillermo3: [email protected]. The ire was a mistake. Really a word, ire (uncountable)
(literary, poetic) Great anger; wrath; keen resentment.
Guillermo3
@Dumdum:Thanks,Dumdum[truth in labeling?]
Google,Yahoo search,and yahoo mail[I hate that old Mailer-Daemon!]
likes the other one.
Yes,I know what ire is_To quote Faulkner,or Lester Maddox,or someone:
“Just because I’m Southern,doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”_Or was that Yeats?
Sing Muse the wrath of Achilles heel.
BlogZilla
Creepy is an understatement. That is one ugly mo-fo. Sorry dude, no amount of plastic is going to help you.
BlogZilla
If I were him I’d kill my plastic surgeon. No man or woman or boy or girl would want to get within 500 feet of that. Yuck..
Guillermo3
@BlogZilla: Right,BlogZilla!
I think he had the same surgeons as the hero’s mother in “Brazil”.
guitargirlmolly
“We hire good-looking people in our stores because good-looking people attract other good-looking people. And we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.”
Well, then. This dorky, non-conventionally-attractive lady is obviously not welcome. Thanks for pointing that out.
Bob LaBlah
@robho3: I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew ALL of the attendants HAD to be white. Who else, just for the sake of being able to say they work on a private jet for an asshole like this, would go through all of that.
I think blacks should be grateful they were/are spared working for assholes like this clown.
D9W
@balehead- I was thinking he was a closet queen
BlogZilla
Racist? perhaps. But for him it goes beyond that. He’s very looksist. And it’s strange that someone as ugly as him thinks he can hang with the best looking. He looks like he belongs with the very people he discriminates against.
From a business standpoint I don’t think it makes sense to discriminate against anyone that’s willing to open their wallets for your products unless they’re causing nuisance of some sort. Just like a smart prostitute has to fuck the fuglies just as often as they get to fuck the pretties. It’s business. If he’d take a hard look, most of his customers don’t look like his models.
I don’t think he’s any more racist or sexist than the people that run Sean John or FUBU or Frederick’s of Hollywood. Go to any Sean John store and all you see are black people working there….