Dan Savage Isn’t Bothered By You Fantasizing About His Husband

Screen shot 2013-05-06 at 12_52_59 PM(2).pngDan Savage knows you’ve been looking at those insanely hot photos of his husband modeling Mr. Turk swimwear, and he really doesn’t mind. In fact, he kinda likes it.

In a recent interview with Xtra, Savage spoke about the nearly-nude photos of husband Terry Miller and how they came to be. Savage says Miller, a stay at home dad (awww), consciously stayed out of the limelight while the couple’s son, DJ, was still young.

Screen shot 2013-05-07 at 8.42.27 PM“He is a really private person, and for years he wanted nothing to do with the spotlight,” he said. “People say horrible things about us and that DJ should be kidnapped.”

But all that changed once DJ made it to middle school and high school. With a ton of free time on his hands, Savage says Miller started going to the gym “a lot.”

When asked how he felt about the world seeing his husband’s coinslot, bulge and chiseled chest, “I don’t have a problem with that!”, he said with a grin. “I don’t have a problem with people knowing I get to hit that when I get home.”

Life is so unfair!

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #dansavage #interview #mr.turk stories and more


  • tookietookie


  • balehead

    How much money from his charity does Dan Savage use to keep his “husband”???

  • DarkZephyr

    @balehead: What a disgusting thing to say. They are in LOVE.
    Shallow much?

  • Katbox

    @balehead: from the sound of it, his husband only recently became hot. He must have been an average joe when they first met.

  • Dixie Rect

    How is this gay news?

  • BritAus

    ^ if you don’t like it go elsewhere !

  • Gigi Gee

    @Dixie Rect — Do you need me to connect the dots for you? Okay. Fine.

    Gay man…married to gay man…have/are raising a child together…gay news. Admittedly it’s salacious, tabloid-style news fitting of TMZ or HELLO but it’s news nonetheless.

    In case you haven’t noticed, this ain’t NPR.

  • LaTeesha

    I don’t really care about their relationship and what transpires in it. None of my business.

    But, if I or my husband had a body like that, I’d show it off too. Good for him.

  • miagoodguy

    IF he truly loved his husband he wouldn’t be sleeping with other guys or think it is appropriate for his husband to sleep with other men.

  • ToptoBottomNYC

    @miagoodguy: Not true. It may not be how you want your relationship to be, but that doesn’t make it wrong.

  • miagoodguy

    It is just sad some people have no moral compass. If you want to keep having sex, then don’t get married. Marriage means you love that person completely. Having sex with others means you don’t love them enough. Ask yourself if you would be cool if your parents (assuming they are still together) had an open relationship.

  • Gigi Gee

    @miagoodguy — I’ve been with my husband for a very long time. Together for 25 years, married for 10 years. We’re monogamous. It works for us. Monogamy isn’t for everyone. I’d much rather see a couple – m/f, m/m, f/f, bi/?, whatever – who are open and honest with one another than the alternative. This isn’t to say than an open relationship is THE answer either. Many open couples that I know are open because one person wants to be and the other doesn’t want to say no.

    There’s way too much judging going on. If we all spent as much time working on our own live as we do judging others the world would be a much happier place.

  • pierre

    Am I the only person who doesn’t find him attractive in the least?

  • miagoodguy

    If the person you claim to love isn’t enough for you sexually, then don’t get married. An open marriage is nothing more than an oxymoron. Open relationships is what denegrates marriage, not gays getting married.

  • Polaro

    I’m up for a three way.

  • NateB79

    @pierre: No you’re not. I don’t think he’s handsome at all. But different strokes for different folks as they say.

  • IJelly

    Good for you, Dan. Just don’t tell me that you can relate to my problems when I tell you I don’t have the same chemistry with my partner of 10 years.

  • GreatGatsby2011

    @miagoodguy: Wait a minute. Are you being serious? Do you have multiple personality disorder or are you just a garden variety hypocrite? On the Tuc Watkins post you wrote (and I quote):

    “I have little respect for those who believe their thinking or way of living their life is is the correct way to be. Live your own life and don’t tell others how to live theirs.”

    And yet you’re on this post doing exactly what you claim to find shameful in others. It must suck to have so little respect for yourself.

  • miagoodguy

    FYI, that line was in response to one of the posters criticizing the actor and how he approaches his privacy. Dan Savage makes his private life public and opens it up to criticism.

  • Gigi Gee

    So miagoodguy is a prude and a hypocrite. Those two always seem to go hand-in-hand.

    “Live your own life and don’t tell others how to live theirs.” Words to live by.

  • Gigi Gee

    Greatest hits from miagoodguy:

    Speaking of Randy ARE YOU SURPRISED Phillips he said, “Someone should tell Mr. Phillips that his 15 minutes of fame is up.”

    In reference to a fun picture of Thomas Roberts, Cheyenne Jackson and their husbands Monte Lapka and Patrick Abner in support of the Baltimore Ravens he said, “Words can’t describe how stupid these guys look like.”

    In reference to the tragic death of Brett Shaad from meningitis he said, “33 and still going to cicuit parties? It is a sad commentary that guys 30 and over still ty to act like they arre in thei 20?s and never grow up” and “It is ridiculous not to point out the obvious that he was living an unhealthy life and those trying to excuse it are just perpetuating the bad habits…” as well as “Yet another person excusing bad behavior and acting immature. I am sue he was a saint at the White Party weekend.”

    Finally, in reference to a study that said gay men aren’t sleeping around as much he said, predictably, “Don’t buy the results of this study.”

    Methinks our dear “mia” and Bryan Fischer share the same brain.

  • B Damion

    @everyone commenting on Queerty including me. Maybe we should all get into a room and beat the hell outta eachother. Would that stop the constant bickering? Just knowing someone can beat your ass would that stop it? jesus! I can never click on an article without people bitching to each other instead of the article.

  • Gigi Gee

    @B Damion — HUGS! That’s the reason I stopped coming here for a long time. Perhaps I came back too soon.

  • Niall

    Why wouldn’t be okay with other people fantasizing about his husband, when other people(though with his permission) SLEEP with his husband? Weird and total non news

  • Matt

    @Niall: Ain’t that the truth! They’re friends with benefits and call it marriage. lol

  • Robert-in-Seattle

    Who’s fantasizing about Dan’s husband…I’m all eyes for Dan!

  • tdx3fan

    They have the right to live however they want, and none of you have the right to judge them (and do not give me this shit that you get to judge them because they put themselves our there). If their way of life is not for you then do not do it. However, if someone wants to keep it open because they are very sexually liberated (what a shock that a sex columnist would be sexually liberated) then all the power to them. Yes, they should probably keep it away from their children, but most parents keep their sex life away from their children. It is not like they share the sordid details of every sexual liaison in public for everyone to read about.

  • tomron

    @Gigi Gee: Gigi Gee, you beat me to it. As a widower of two years (widower from a marriage of almost 3 years, and a monogamous relationship of 58 years) I know what worked for us. I also know what worked for us (and illness notwithstanding, life was wonderful!) doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. In that knowledge lies the understanding for all honest and sincere relationships, and the strength behind the fact that OUR relationships – be they same sex marriages or whatever we want them to be – although different from the majority, are nevertheless precious and earned through the US Constitution.

  • tomron

    I can’t believe it! I was reading down the many comments, decided to add my two cents, and then realized that there were so many bitchy comments and personal attacks that I forgot what the original posting was all about.
    As for me, I’ve been in love with Dan Savage for his tireless work on our collective behalf (having nothing to do with his ideas on what’s right for him sexually), and now in lust with his husband (or at least in as much lust as an 80 year old can be). I can’t find enough ways to thank Dan Savage for the many times he’s gone to bat for us on TV, in articles, and in close proximity to the neanderthals who would keep us from gaining further rights, and strip us from those we already have.
    What part of our collective DNA causes us to destroy one another? Why all the personal attacks?

  • alterego1980

    @tomron: It’s one thing to argue for a cause, But Dan consistently picks apart the arguments of the hypocrites and feeds it back to them with sound, rational counter arguments. My favorite is when he tells the truth about the Bible. More people have abused the words in that book than any other. He could speak for me any day. (And his husband could strip for me any day too! (because i’m not above that sort of thing!))

  • viveutvivas

    @pierre, no, I don’t find him attractive either. At all. It’s pretty obvious they have recently discovered the miracle of testosterone therapy for the aging gay male. :) I don’t think there is anything morally wrong with that, and I do like Dan Savege’s writing, but there is just something about this here that I find a little sad and pathetic, to do with need for approval and self-image issues, maybe some midlife isues, on the part of his husband. I don’t know them so I cannot say this for sure, but that is the appearance this gives to me.

  • viveutvivas

    S/savege/savage. Damn useless iPad keyboard.

  • Stache1

    @viveutvivas: Just because someone over 40 has a nice bod doesn’t automatically mean their enhansing themselves with drugs. You sound like a judgmental, jealous and bitter queen though.

  • QuintoLover

    I don’t know how old their kids are now (If they’re still in middle school and high school or not) but if they are still that young, I don’t know how I feel about them making comments like “I love that people know that I get to go home and HIT THAT.” I’d feel awkward if my parents said that to close family friends…. this guy said it in an interview that anyone can get access to.

  • Stache1

    @QuintoLover: You must have grown up in a very prudish household. My parents talked about sex constantly. It wasn’t a big deal to us. Kids can handle adults talking about sex.

  • Robert-in-Seattle

    @Stache1, @QuintoLover: kids can deal with their parents talking bout sex…they’re an empty vessel waiting to be filled with information. Better they hear it from their parents than try it out for themselves outside of the home. Since our Puritanical Ethic remains so deeply ingrained in out psyche, and we draw back in horror at the idea of ‘schools’ teaching useful, honest and clear sex education, I’d much rather hear it from those whom I’m supposed to be learning my early life-lessons: my parnts. Like I said kids can handle adults talking about sex: it’s parents/adults who can’t handle the idea of kids hearing about sex at all! Dan’s son is in High School. By that time, he knows just about every basic thing he should know about sex, and unfortunately it probably came from his social peers, although I greatly doubt that Dan Savage was too afraid the have “that talk”.

Comments are closed.