Slave Play wrecked me.
Like, pimp slapped me, pulled my hair, set me on fire, brought me back to life, and then did it again. I haven’t felt this exposed since my parents confronted me about crashing the family computer with gay porn I downloaded from Zapster.
Set on a plantation in Virginia, Jeremy O. Harris’s racially-charged play explores control and obedience through three interracial couples—one of which is same-sex male—roleplaying as slaves, overseers, and masters to fix their sex lives. The couples are taking part in an experiment called Antebellum Sexual Performance Therapy (aka “slave play”), which is designed to help the Black participants rekindle their desire for their white partners.
While Antebellum Sexual Performance Therapy isn’t real, it damn well could be, because as on-stage therapists helped their patients navigate their experiences and unresolved trauma, I, too, was unpacking my issues.
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A few years ago, I was hooking up with a white dude I met on Grindr. I was in my late 20s. He was in his late 30s. When he opened his hotel room door, he towered over me. He was friendly and offered me a glass of wine before we got down to business. While going down on him, he asked me if I liked it. I replied an enthusiastic, but sultry yes. He continued, “Good. Because I love a Black man on his knees.”
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Each one of his words slowly exited his mouth and washed over me like cement being poured onto a street. I was frozen at first but eventually found the words to tell him I had to leave. He apologized, but I grabbed my shit and bounced.
That was one of many casually racist encounters I began to encounter in the gay community—either in person or on the apps. The only racism I’ve ever encountered has been in interactions with white gay men in regards to sex. In fact, the only people who have ever called me nigger have been gay white men. The objectification, the fetishization, and the racial slurs hurled at me when I’ve respectfully declined a “looking?” message started to really fuck with my mind—and my dick. So much so, occasionally it impacted my performance.
Just about every time I sign into a dating app, I inadvertently engage in race play. So, seeing it play out on stage before my eyes on The Great White Way, was at first triggering, but then it became therapeutic.
In Slave Play, Alana roleplays as the mistress of the plantation while her biracial boyfriend Phillip acts as her well-dressed house negro. While debriefing the experience, Phillip reflects on his experiences as a teen as one of the only Black faces in a predominately white school, and he shares an experience that nearly jolted me out of my seat.
Phillip recalls a white teammate in a locker room saying to him he forgets Phillip is Black until he sees his big dick.
Until that moment, I totally forgot about a white classmate saying those exact words to me in the locker room in high school. And because I must have buried the moment away, I didn’t even realize it impacted me today—like Phillip—and how traumatic it has actually been to my sense of self and how it has all manifested in just about all of my intimate relationships with white men and my own dick.
So, there I am trying to watch this fine play, but I’m replaying all of the shitty things white men have “innocently” said to me.
This is another amazing thing Harris does with Slave Play. All of the white partners seem to try to separate themselves from their whiteness. As if they are neutral and none of what’s happening has anything to do with them. They are all, assumed to be well-meaning, educated people. And racism? That’s for racist Southern folk.
But like my own experiences having only experienced racism by gay white men in big cities like NYC, that’s where these characters live. It’s an incredibly smart way to show how whiteness in the north is just as harmful and violent as it is in southern states.
If you’re a gay, Black man who is an equal opportunity lover or banger, Slave Play is going to punch you in the gut and ask you to reflect on your sex life not to mention your love life.
And if you can’t get to the theater, get to your therapist so you can unpack any trauma and leave it in this decade.
Lamar Dawson is a pop culture junkie living in New York City. Follow him on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter @dirrtykingofpop.
soonersteve88
Whiteness is “harmful and violent”? That sounds oddly racist to me. Racism is harmful and violent, it’s literally the belief that one race is superior to all others. I don’t hold that belief. Anyone can be harmful or violent, regardless of their physical appearance. But saying that being white is inherently harmful and violent? Sounds a lot like the destructive stereotypes I’ve always heard thrown around about people of color by crotchety old white people.
To quote the legendary actor Edward James Olmos, who helped pave the way for fair and honest representation of minorities in film and television:
“I still find it incredible that we still use the term race as a cultural determinant…I detest what we’ve done to ourselves out of a need to make ourselves different from one another—we’ve made the word race a way of expressing culture.
“There is no such thing as a Latino race, there never has been, there never has been. There never will be. There is only one race and…that is the human race period.
“Now the pressure comes, why did we start to use the word race as a cultural determinant? The truth is that over six hundred years ago the Caucasian race decided to use it as a cultural determinant so it would be easier for them to kill another culture.
“That was the total understanding, to kill one culture from another culture. You couldn’t kill your own race so you had to make them the “other” and you to this day—I’ve spent thirty-seven years of my adult life trying to get this word out and now I am done and well prepared…to say it to all of you—there is but one race. That is it.”
richard2179
I think the author meant “whiteness” as behavior that can be harmful to non-white people rather than an identity.
Nedra
It appears you have the answer all along for the context in which the writer used ‘whiteness:’
“The truth is that over six hundred years ago the Caucasian race decided to use [race] as a cultural determinant so it would be easier for them to kill another culture.”
The author was not attacking white people, he was attacking the culture of White Supremacy.
dmanhart
Manufactured outrage? Jesus Christ. What next? Here comes Honey Boo Boo?
dinard38
Hey white men. Here’s a tip. When a black man is fu**ing you, don’t say things like, I love your big black c*ck. Not a turn on whatsoever.
dmanhart
Actually, it is for both the bottom and the top.. It’s one of those things that heightens the sexual experience for both.
frenchjr25
Wow, this guy is dealing with a ton of internalized racism. The problems he faced were really his own. He could easily choose not to use Grindr. He could choose not to sleep with white guys. In this particular situation he could choose how he deals with what he perceives as racism.
richard2179
What the author is dealing with here is definitely real and not just internalized. It is not limited to Grinder nor white men. And it does real harm like homophobia. Just think of the term “you choose to be gay” and apply it here.
TheDefiler
Richard is exactly right. *You* don’t get to judge any more than Ellen gets to forgive Kevin Hart on behalf of all gay people, per Don Lemon’s point because neither she nor you are a gay black man encountering Hart’s homophobia or the writer’s scars of racism.
Brian
Really? Don’t use Grindr and don’t sleep with white guys is your solution? He’s creating his own problems because he expects more than being used as a prop and dares to think he should be treated as an actual human being?
You just told him that he should know his place and stay segregated. As if he was some uppity house negro on a southern plantation in 1896. Would it blow your mind to know that he gets a whole vote, and not just 3/5 of one?
Nedra
frenchjr25, it is clear you are a racist because only a racist would read this article and take it as an attack on white people. Go and work on your racism.
Polaro
Ignoring race is inherently racist. Seems like black men don’t want to be reminded they’re black. It is reality, however. People saying they do not see race are just racists in one of the stages of recovery. Of course you’re black, and there isn’t anything wrong with it. Race play during sex is just another fetish. Some people like it, some don’t. If you don’t like it, leave. Just know there are black men who are very much into it. I’ve been asked a number of times. It’s not my thing, but I was not insulted.
Rock-N-RollHS
People who say they don’t see race are full of it. However, for many it’s just another aspect of who someone is–like their height and weight–and ultimately less important than other things–like how smart, funny, attractive, or interesting a guy is. I see more men judged (and rejected) because of age and body type (and overall looks) than race in the gay community.
Brian
Why exactly do black men need to be reminded that they’re black? I’m pretty sure most of them are well aware of it. I know I’d sure be tired of it if the world constantly reminded me that I’m “the gay guy” instead of just treating me like everyone else.
Kangol2
Don’t speak for Black men if you’re not one, thanks.
MisterTao
Race play, like all forms of BDSM, requires consent. You can’t just say “I like a Black man on his knees” any more than you can start paddling his behind. You need to ask if it’s ok first. And be ok with, “No” as an answer.
Rock-N-RollHS
Saw the play. First part, brilliant and funny, then becomes a muddled mess. The playwright clearly most identifies with the black woman and effeminate black gay guy. The white characters and masculine straight biracial character, however, come off a one-dimensional ideas that’s more about playwright’s limitations than providing actual insight into race relations.
Heywood Jablowme
This works both ways, unfortunately. I’m white & remember at least half a dozen sexual encounters with black men where the guy immediately turned it into verbal “race play” – sometimes they were the top (either anal or oral) and wanted to put whitey down etc. etc., sometimes I was the top (oral) and they wanted the opposite. I was always surprised, sometimes uncomfortable enough to stop it, sometimes went along thinking “really? he thinks THAT is hot? oh well.” It seems strange to me to initiate verbal stuff like that with someone you just met! But it’s a society where race is a huge factor, and of course sexuality is complicated.
I sympathize with Jeremy on this one because black guys would probably encounter this sort of thing more often.
Brian
This wasn’t with by Jeremy. I assumed that too, but since I wasn’t rolling my eyes by the end of the article, I knew something was up and sure enough, it was a different author.
Of course, since he is able to write about race in a way that is reasonable and relatable, Queerty will probably fire him.
Heywood Jablowme
@Brian: Damn, you’re right. Should *always* double-check the byline. That’s tripped me up before when a Graham Gremore-style “straight” article turned out NOT to be by GG!
tf3.0
You’re right, it’s insane how quickly some black dudes go to race play.
It’s kind of creepy honestly.
The times I have actually slept with one, it has always devolved into highlighting race as a sexual factor.
Brian
Ok, but that’s obviously not the case for the author. Is it really asking to much to expect people to ask if that’s something he’s into first?
Donston
I saw the play. It’s thoroughly funny and bracing. But it’s rather muddled from a thematic and characterization standpoint. It’s certainly worth watching, but I wasn’t moved by it as much as some. However, I’m not a big theater fan.
One of the questions that neither the play nor the author of this article really confronts is why do so many black people purposely seek out white partners? There’s this assumption that many white men seek out black men for BBC and/or to be dominated by black men or to do the dominating. And that is definitely true for a percentage. However, what are the stereotypical triggers that lead to black men purposely searching for white guys? And why do some black men find comfort zones indulging those fantasies, fetishes and relationship dynamics? And are there not black men who themselves enjoy racial play and fetishizing white men? Once again, this is stuff neither the play nor the writer here really delves into. I will say that if you are a black man who overall has romantic, sexual, affection, emotional leanings and relationship ambitions towards white guys but you’re not into race play or your race being fetishized (or you don’t have a big dick) it’s probably more difficult to find reasonable partnering.
I was also surprised that this wasn’t Jeremy article. Then I wasn’t surprised since the article wasn’t very self-victimizing or rant-y.
Kangol2
Think of the larger context, Donston. Living in a racist and white supremacist society, whiteness is always prized and privileged, whatever your race, gender, sexuality, etc. Whiteness is associated with goodness, beauty, power, and wealth. White men, especially cis-straight white Christian men, are held up as the ideal, and from the time we are children, we are conditioned to hold whiteness as superior. It’s part of the ongoing process of mental colonization that still hasn’t ended, and that Frantz Fanon, James Baldwin, and many others critiqued so powerfully over the last 100 years. It’s also why the resistant Black Power ideology proclaiming “Black is beautiful” was so powerful, and why Marlon Riggs’s famous statement, which Jeremy Helligar sort of dismissed in his last article, remains so powerful. Many people do not succumb to or actively resist this racist brainwashing, which is relentless, but the larger context explains why man Black men and other men of color (like women of all races, though Black women the least) prize a white partner, why the racial dynamics that Jeremy O. Harris writes about pop up in American psychosexual relations, and so on. It’s also not just in US society, but exists across the Americas, in Europe, in Australia, and elsewhere.
Donston
I’m very aware of this. It’s just not something I think the play or this article genuinely confronted. The focus of this play was on “whiteness” as something abstract. And it never really confronted the psychology behind being black but aggressively seeking white partnership. I also grew weary of the extreme scenarios. Maybe it’s because I’m not a big theater head, but I feel modern strorytelling doesn’t need such extremes to get your points across if you actually know how to tell stories.
Lamar Dawson
Thank you all for reading and for the thoughtful conversation here.
Kangol2
Thank you for the article.
gavo92
I always find it funny how many white people don’t want to hear about a black person’s experiences. Then they go and get defensive as if the person is calling them a racist. This article is about you.