kanye-west-Riccardo-TisciFashion blogger and America’s Next Top Model permanent house guest Bryanboy apparently missed the memo that Kanye West is gay, that he shacked up with Givenchy designer Riccardo Tisci and that Kim Kardashian is his beard.

Also missing that memo, pretty much everyone else.

The blogger tweeted out his frustration over being left out of the alleged loop on Friday:

Wait so Kanye West is gay? He and Riccardo Tisci were former fuck buddies/lovers? And Kim Kardashian is a beard? Why am I the last to know?

Branboy then cast some religiously-based aspersions as to the parentage of the Kimye baby:

Immaculate conception, artificial insemination…. for all you know, Kim Kardashian is probably Mama Mary incarnate

Now come on. We all know there’s nothing even remotely virginal about Kim Kardashian. As for the gay rumors: just ’cause a man loves fashion, occasionally wears a skirt and plays Connect Four with Beyoncé doesn’t make him gay. It makes him the object of our eternal envy.

Seriously, could we at least play Hungry Hungry Hippos with Solange? Pick Up Sticks with Kelly and Michelle? Something…?

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