Balls Deep

Five Reasons To Respect The Family Jewels

testicles3Balls. Nads. Testicles. Why do gay men not glory them as they do their partner in crime, the penis? After all, they are key not only to maleness and reproduction, but to male pleasure too.

So in honor of family jewels, here are five reasons to respect your cojones…

1. They produce testosterone

Not only do testicles produce the sperm necessary to sire future generations, they synthesize most of the body’s testosterone. Castrated men (men who have had their little boys removed) report lower sex drives, less body strength and worse memory and moods, likely due to lower testosterone levels. However, castration seems to lead to longer life. In two studies, castrated men lived about 14 years longer.

2. They were not designed for monogamy — but not necessarily total promiscuity either

Chimpanzees have huge testicles compared to their body size. That’s because they are a highly promiscuous species. So male chimps need big balls to make a lot of sperm to compete with other males’ sperm. Gorillas have tiny balls compared to their body. That’s because only one alpha male mates with all the females in a gorilla troop — he has no competition.

Human testicle size is right in the middle of chimpanzee and gorilla testicle size. Biologists think that means we evolved to expect a “mild” amount of sperm competition. “Perhaps two or three mates,” at a time, primatologist Alison Jolly told The New York Times.

3. They are super sensitive to pain (and pleasure)

As anyone who has played soccer or wrestled surely knows, testicles have many nerve endings. So that makes them highly sensitive to pain — even a little pressure can be incredibly painful.

That’s probably because more than any other male body part, testicles are key to keeping the human species around. Lose them, and you become a genetic dead end. So by evolving to be highly sensitive to pain, testicles are ensured to be well protected.

But that sensitivity to pain also makes them highly sensitive to pleasure. If you don’t already, we recommend including testicular play in your sexual toolbox. Tickle, lick and tug (gentle, boys!)— it can feel amazing.

4. They are natural thermostats

Ever wonder why your balls hang at different angles and sizes at different times? That’s because your body is trying to keep your testicles at 93.2 degrees Fahrenheit (34 degrees Celsius). That’s the perfect temperature to make sperm. It’s also why your testicles aren’t safely tucked into your body — it would get too hot. So instead they hang off your body and change position and size to obtain the optimal temperature to assemble your swimmers.

5. Tugging on them can prevent ejaculation

The testicles retract into a man right before ejaculation in order to force the sperm out of the testicles and into the penis. So if you want to stop ejaculation to keep the good times rolling – tugging them down gently right before you cum can prevent ejaculation.

But be careful! You can really injure yourself if you pull too hard. To prevent injury, get a cock ring. It will keep your boys safe and secure and prevent them from retracting.

Nutty about testes? Watch and let Alex and Xander rock your world. You can also see past Science of Sin videos on the evolution of homosexual men, the wonder of the penis, and the science of weight loss.


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