From 1990 to 2012, John Smid served as the executive director of Love in Action, a Christian organization (now called “Restoration Path”) that championed so-called ex-gay conversion therapy for gay people seeking to change their sexual orientation. At one point it was the largest national organization for ex-gay therapy.
But now, in a new personal column, Smid has admitted that ex-gay therapy is a harmful, ineffective hoax.
Smid became a Christian in 1982 and married a woman in 1988, fathering two daughters with her. In 1994, Smid wrote an article telling a gay man that it would be better for him to commit suicide than for him to “go into the gay lifestyle.” Smid says the article haunts him to this day.
At another point, Smid held a mock funeral for a young adult who said he couldn’t stop being gay. Smid had the man lay down in front of his peers while they eulogized him, expressing regret that he chose homosexuality over Christianity.
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Love in Action also ran a youth program called “Refuge.” The program forbade participants from wearing “excessive jewelry or stylish clothing from labels like Calvin Klein and Tommy Hilfiger … watching television, listening to secular music (even [classical]) … reading unapproved books or magazines,” any physical contact beyond handshakes and required teens to play football.
In 2005, a 16-year-old teen named Zach Stark wrote on MySpace that his parents had forced him into Refuge. Protests and a state investigation into the program contributed to the program’s discontinuation in 2007.
Smid also served as the board of directors of Exodus International for 11 years, an advocate of ex-gay therapy whose former President Alan Chambers later said, “I never met one person who changed their sexual orientation, including me,” before closing the group in 2013.
Related: Chris Pratt attends an anti-gay church with a history of child molestation and ex-gay therapy
In his recent column, Smid writes, “In 1987, I was taught that my homosexual desires were rooted in sinful places in my dark heart. I was told to submit to God … and through obedience and a faithful life, my sexual orientation could be transformed and I would discover my latent heterosexuality.”
He continues, “When one comes from a conservative Christian background where homosexuality is discouraged, it is easy to get caught in this cycle of shame. I was desperate. I was led to believe I could never be a man of integrity if I didn’t change.”
Smid admits his group shredded the lives of individuals and their families, swindling them of their money and pushing the disproven theories that “life events, unhealthy family relationships, or … sexual wounds” cause homosexuality.
He says he has spent the years since 2012 trying to repair the damage he has done. He has since started a gay Christian group called Grace Rivers which tries to support gay men. He was also recently depicted in the ex-gay therapy film Boy Erased.
Even though Smid left Love in Action and married a man in 2014, he says many ex-gay therapy groups like his continue to operate while ignoring the mountain of evidence against their harmful practices.
In his column, Smid says he agrees with the findings of every major American psychological association that ex-gay conversion therapy doesn’t work and can create lasting psychological harm. He also agrees with the 15 states that have since banned the practice and the recent decision by Apple, Microsoft and Amazon’s to pull an ex-gay app from their devices.
“It is imperative that sexual orientation change efforts stop before more young people, as well as adults, are harmed,” Smid writes. “Conversion therapy in any form is dangerous and potentially lethal. The answer is not self-denial and lies. It is self-acceptance and living one’s truth.”
QueerTruth
“Smid also served as the board of directors of Exodus International for 11 years, an advocate of ex-gay therapy whose former President Alan Chambers later said, “I never met one person who changed their sexual orientation, including me,” before closing the group in 2013.”
That’s all I need to read. Too little, too late. John Smid is a hypocrite, former abuser and frankly an enemy to the LGBT community. He has no right to speak about this. Please don’t report on him again.
Billy Budd
Bastard. He should be phisically abused by the people whom he harassed in the past.
Bob LaBlah
Does anyone remember the name of that Exodus leader who was caught in a Dupont Circle gay bar having a drink and got up an RAN when some one recognized him? It happened back in the 1990’s before the internet explosion but it DID happen. I can’t remember his name but the incident was in Dupont Circle and they did get his picture outside. He had to resign. They’re all full of it. Pray all you want your sexuality doesn’t change.
Vince
How lazy is that that you can’t be bothered to google that. Ha. Yes. John Paulk. Him and his beard were the time magazine poster childs for the ex gay industry for quite a while. You’d have to be helen keller not to see that one coming.
Bob LaBlah
@Vince………Queen, if you go back and READ what I asked in my first comment you would see that in your haste to insult me you are WAY off mark. The guy you posted about seems to have voluntarily resigned and it took place no where near the time period that I referenced. The incident I’m talking about occurred in the 1990’s and it was just about the time that this garbage Exodus came on the scene. It happened in Dupont Circle and if I’m not mistaken it was at a bar called the Fireplace. I did a google search and what I was looking for did not show up but surely one of you girls out there who used to read the hard copy of the Washington Blade remember that episode. Slow down, have your facts strait and THEN post your insult next time.
Vortece
His name is John Paulk. He was touring with Focus on the Family’s “Love Won Out” ex-gay road revival when that happened. Paulk, Smid, and Chambers were 3 of the biggest names in the ex-gay movement in the 90’s, and every one of them has since recanted their positions, apologized, and spent some time trying to make up for the issues they created. And I appreciate that they’ve all publicly disavowed the movements, because if you lived through that time then you probably remember what a huge political impediment they were to the advancement of gay rights. The Religious Right picked up on their activities and moved them front-and-center in the late ’90’s specifically to counter the progress we were making. Now, we have their former leaders speaking from a place of experience to debunk any further efforts by evangelicals to convince Joe Public that gay is a choice.
Vince
@Vortece. It’s never a good start when your enemies want to help you. It just amazes me that people can fall for this shit. These hate groups I mean Christians are so transparent.
Vince
So I guess praying, junk science and lots of shame, isn’t enough to change someone’s orientation after all. Who knew. Lol.
I’d love to see ex-religious conversion camps instead. There’s no mystery why the mentally sickest amongst us cling to it.
misterjack
Religion is a mental illness that is used to indoctrinate children.
Kangol
This is the blond-haired, blue-eyed face of true evil. Smid knew that his horrible essays, his teachings, everything out of his mouth was a bald-faced lie, and yet he promoted this hateful, life-destroying crap for years, spreading it all over the globe, tormenting, torturing and leading the deaths of who knows how many LGBTQ people. And as is typical, monsters like Smid most certainly then take advantage of the courageous actions of people on the front lines of LGBTQ equality and liberation, in his case marrying another man (after holding mock funerals and urging gay people to kill themselves!), even though he spent years denouncing us. Absolutely disgusting, and he should spend the rest of his life atoning for the suffering he caused.
OzJosh
Note that he’s now running a religious organisation that purports to “help” gay youth. In other words: still peddling religious nonsense and still living off the grief and hurt of vulnerable young people. He can claim he’s reformed and trying to repair the damage he’s done, but it looks to me like the same-old same-old.
nitejonboy
The damage has already been done and he will pay for his crimes on the other side. I just pray no one took his advice and killed themselves.
JessPH
Good riddance. May he vanish to oblivion.
ptb2016
I’m sick of reading how being gay is a choice. And religion is the only thing that actually denies their deity knew what he or she was doing by creating human sexuality as so fluid and varied. Religion needs a cure from the especially cherry picked hate filled sentences in the Old Testament.
Brawny71
He should be in prison for what he did, defrauding people of money when he knew his program didn’t work. His apology won’t bring back the lives of people who committed suicide when they failed and/or their families rejected them. Apology NOT accepted.