A man looks shocked
Posed by model (Photo: Shutterstock)

Bathhouses are the types of places many gay men don’t admit to visiting, outside of their close circle of friends. Although most guys go aiming to get lucky, sometimes the end result is not exactly what was hoped.

A posting on the AskGayBrosOver30 subreddit has gone viral after it asked guys to share their most embarrassing bathhouse memories.

The original poster went first with his.

“I went into one of the gloryhole booths at the bathhouse and crouched down to look through one of the glory holes. Oooo. I felt someone playing with my a**hole. They must have reached under the wall behind me. I continued to move my a** around on their finger. It felt sooo good as they rubbed my hole.

“Till I realized it wasn’t a finger, it was the edge of the flip-flop I was wearing! It was touching my a** while I was crouched down. No one was in the booth behind me. Oooops.”

The posting has had over 100 comments. Here are some of the funniest.

1.

“After I walked around for about 30 minutes a guy was nice enough to pull a condom wrapper off my back and hand it to me… 🤦🏻” said one shame-faced guy.

2.

“I got cramp in my calf when I was in the sling and I was thrashing around so much someone thought I was having a fit. I had to chase after him yelling not to call an ambulance. That was something that lives rent-free in my mind.”

3.

“I went for the first time with my best friend. I got a room, and he got a locker. He ran off and I was nervous so I went to the room, put porn on and left the door half open and the light low, it’s a dimmer switch, and just started jerking. After a bit, someone looked in, opened the door and touched the dimmer switch all the way up. Looked at me up and down, turned down the switch and left 😭😭 I got up screaming for my friend and we left haha it was like a real-life Grindr blocking.”

4.

“Celebrated my birthday with a few friends and got pretty hammered and since I drove into the city with a couple of them we were stuck until one of them suggested we go to the bathhouse and sober up, lol.

“Soon as we got in they disappeared and I spent a good while sweating it out in the sauna. Figured since I was here might as well have some fun so I walked through the dim hallways being propositioned by guys standing at the doorways to their rooms until at the very end I saw this hairy bear who looked damn cute looking at me. Started to walk toward him and he smiled and I’m thinking “fuck yeah this is gonna be good”…….until I walked into myself in the mirror. Yeah, that sobered me up instantly.”

5.

The dim lighting in some saunas was the cause of many embarrassing moments. Another guy recalled, “In Paris a year ago I was trying to be less introverted so I’m fully naked in a dark sauna and I’m walking by this incredibly hot man and I’m not just making eye contact I’m also maintaining eye contact and turning my head a little as I’m checking him out. Walked right into a wall. My vision is shitty and if the lights are dim, just picture Velma looking for her glasses. I wanted to die. I left and went back the next day.”

Two men chat in a bathhouse
(Photo: Pipeworks Men’s Health Spa in Glasgow, Scotland)

6.

“Club San Diego, which is still there, I think. Big steam room. And dark where you couldn’t see the end of it. So you kinda pay attention to someones silhouette as they came in. “Nice looking guy” tall and muscular I thought. He veered left….I was interested. The hunt was on! I went right to face him head on.

“He saw me by some other dim light. He changed his course to get choser.Ddefinitely interested! Both of our expectations were risen. But step by step he looked more…. familiar, even in the steam.

“Finally about two feet apart I realized it was Michael, my best friend. We just laughed. It became our rating system: Better From A Distance. Where you think someone is hot from 100, 50, 10, 5 or 1 foot. Across the street or in a steam room everybody looks hot….till a certain point where it’s Yes, Yes, Yes……then Oops! No!

Related: Gay bathhouses that have stood the test of time

7.

“I was in the midst of fucking a guy in my room when I was paged using my full name over the PA system,” revealed one man. When asked why he’d been paged, he said, “The friend that I had gone there with decided it was time to leave and didn’t feel like waiting.”

8.

“The time I went into a daddy’s room… we messed around and he wanted to f*ck me but couldn’t stay hard. I finally made an excuse to dip out and carry on my way… I had left and went to another floor only to realize I forgot my locker key in his room. Had to go back and knock on the door repeatedly until he opened. He was part way through trying to get head from another person and me knocking on the door killed his boner again.”

9.

“I was getting my d*ck sucked in a room. I was pretty high. While he was blowing me I reached into my backpack which was on the bed next to me and thought I had pulled out my poppers to do a whiff, but alas it was my little travel-size bottle of lube but didn’t realize it until I had sniffed up a good amount in 2 seconds. Ruined the moment pretty quick.”

10.

“Mine is simple. Locked eyes with a guy and we started jerking each other off. I turn around so he can f*ck me and nothing happens for a moment. When I turn back around we are almost butt-to-butt. We both turned in the opposite direction at the same time expecting the other guy to top. Better communication next time.”

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