POUCH PROBLEMS

Gay Lifeguard Receives Email From Boss Complaining About Large, “Visible Anatomy”

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There are some common problems that many 22-year-old gay men face, and there are some that only affect a select few.

This falls into that second category.

A lifeguard recently shared this email from his boss on imgur, complaining about his large member:

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Two years ago, he shared more of his story on Reddit, writing:

I just found this page, and thought I’d share my story and see if other people have had some of the same issues. So I’m 20 now, and up until a few years ago I thought I was average. In school health class they never really talked about what the average size was, and I never really bothered to compare myself to other guys. Obviously, the guys in the porn that I’d seen had huge dicks and I didn’t really think that maybe they would be above average at the time. When I was around 14, I joined my high school’s swim team and experienced a school locker room for the first time. I had taken gym class in middle school, but there were no showers, and we never got down to anything past our underwear so I never really noticed anything different about me other than I had more body hair than most of the other guys. I started puberty pretty early and I was one of the few in my class to have pit hair, a happy trail, etc.

When I joined my high school’s team, I learned that we, first of all, had to wear Speedos, which I had never done before, and second of all, had to take showers before and after practice and meets. Like in most schools’ locker rooms, the showers were communal with no privacy. The first day, I went into the locker room like everyone else, we got our Speedos and were told to shower and change into them for the first practice. (Keep in mind, up until this point in my life, no one else had really seen me naked except maybe my doctor and my parents from when I was really young.) We got into the showers and I just tried to focusing on getting in and out as quickly as possible. That part went fine, as far as I knew, and I walked over to the lockers to get my suit on. I had a few friends on the team with me, and as I was changing, one of them came up to me and said something along the lines of, “Dude, your dick is huge.” I didn’t believe him since I thought I was average, but the next practice I looked around in the showers and noticed most of the other guys were maybe 1-2 inches soft, and I was closer to 4.5. From that day on, in every locker room and public shower I go to, I get looks, some of them of interested guys and some of them disgusted looks from guys who probably think I’m being a show-off.

For the four years I was in high school, I stayed on the swim team and took two years of standard gym class. Every day in the locker room I’d see guys glancing in my direction, trying not to make it obvious that they’re looking, then whispering to their friends. I had friends with me in the room in most of these situations, and they would usually just tell me not to let it bother me, but it usually would. I eventually got used to wearing the Speedos, even though I had the most noticeable bulge on the team, at that point we were all usually focusing on other things, so it didn’t matter as much.

I’m now 20, a freshman in college, and on my college’s swim team. Generally, the guys are more mature in the locker rooms than in high school, but occasionally I’ll catch some guys laughing and trying not to make it obvious that they’re looking. Being in the United States, most guys are circumcised, and I’ve always been the only uncut guy in the locker room (that I noticed anyways), so that might have something to do with the looks as well. Last time I measured a few months ago, I was 5.5-6 inches soft and between 8.75 and 9.5 inches hard depending on my arousal, the temperature, and who knows what else. I believe I’m also fairly above average in girth, but I haven’t measured that. I assume I’m done growing since it’s been about the same size for a year or so.

Wearing any kind of athletic shorts (Under Armour, Nike, etc. basketball/lacrosse shorts) produces a noticeable bulge, to the point where some people have thought I had a boner. I avoid skinny jeans, but normal jeans are generally fine, especially if I have a longer shirt that can cover that area a little bit. I actually wear jeans for as long as I can before the weather gets too hot because I never look forward to wearing shorts. Even with normal swim trunks / board shorts, there is a fairly large bulge, especially when getting out of the water.

I’ve actually been asked by the management at several water parks to wear “appropriate swimwear” the next time because apparently in their rules they have a section about “revealing swimwear”.

Like many others have posted here, it touches the toilet water when soft, and presses up against the side of the bowl when hard.

I haven’t had a ton of sex, but the few times that I have, or have tried, the girl was either too scared because of the size, or we had to stop shortly after because it was hurting her. I’m bi, but I’ve never had sex (anal) with a guy. Only one person has been able to deepthroat it all the way. Regular sized-condoms are generally too tight, so I usually go for the larger sizes.

Trying to talk about these things with friends has been hit or miss. 99% of my guy friends are straight, and generally don’t like talking about any of this for fear of sounding too “gay”. Some of them will indulge my complaints sometimes, but I try not to bring it up too often. Finding someone that will actually listen, give helpful advice, or can actually relate, has been challenging, so I generally have been keeping these things to myself.

I think that about sums it up, if anyone has any questions or comments or anything feel free to comment. Thanks for reading. :)

What advice would you give him?

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84 Comments

  • dre23222

    I can take care of it

    • flipmv

      My thought exactly!!!

  • Jimmy McKinney

    WOW! If he’s wearing the same shorts as the other guards I wouldn’t worry over it. Some guys have bigger members as you know. So I would tell him to shove it.

  • Edwn Szto

    He said he’s bi in the article

  • Trevor McGee

    I’ve seen this one… ;)
    “Let’s meet tomorrow morning in my office to discuss it further….”

  • Nick Kuhns

    Exactly what Edwn Szto said. Change the title to reflect his actual identification!

  • Robert Price

    My advice. Porn can use his anatomy

  • Topher Marando

    This site is becoming way too click bait

  • Tim Parker

    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  • Stache

    @dre23222: Wow. Such a caring person.

  • Stache

    Nothing more beautiful then a big c*ck stuffed into some tiny speedos.

  • Jake Abercrombie

    It’s always nice to see a big bulge. :-)

  • Tattyfatty

    Awwww poor guy, how hard it must be to go through life saddled with being young, attractive, and having a big dick. and here i was complaining about my life, i feel so foolish now.

  • rand503

    Before I can give any advice, I need more facts. Photos would help too.

  • Chavor

    If he is wearing the same trunks as the other lifeguards then it shouldn’t be an issue. It is an example of sexism. Nothing would be said to a big busted women, wearing the same suit as her less endowed counterparts. For some reason straights are afraid of the sight of a penis. It just a body part come in different shapes and sizes and they need to get over it. No one should be “shamed” over the size of their member.

  • Christopher Hayward

    This shows the boss has a problem with gays and good looking men, closet time folks.

  • dwb

    Would a jock strap help?

  • Chris

    Wear speedos or a jock; then put a loose fitting pair of swim shorts over them. When I was growing up, most guys — including life guards — wore surfer pants. Problem solved.

  • Octavio Roca

    That happened to me when I was a lifeguard in Miami Beach a hundred years ago.

    • Gary_Gans

      Que ‘tal, Octavio? It’s Gans from Boomerang, Paragon, The Palace, Third Rail, and the Living Room when the Art Deco District went from rough to a huge gay community in just a few years. Yes, I remember your lifeguard posts were always surrounded by many admirers, because Shallow Beach had a lot of size queens back in the day.

      From the time when I met you it was when I was tending bar, you were always friendly and a nice guy. When we would see each other it was your personality that struck me most, and I just hope that you’re happy now! X

  • Tracy Pope

    Not gay. Bi. Get it right Queerty. We’re the third letter of “LGBT+”.

    @dwb: As someone who has a similar problem as this guy I can tell you from experience that the standard jocks available are uncomfortable as hell. No matter how stretchy, the fabric pouch never has enough material for all your junk.

  • Brian

    @Chris: Why should he have to wear swim shorts? Life guards should wear Speedos to ease movement through the water.

  • Brian

    Why can women wear tight bikinis with half their rears showing but men must hide their bodies with baggy long shorts? It’s a double standard.

  • Harold DV

    Deal with it

  • Brian

    America has become male body-phobic. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a feminist who made the complaint about the gay lifeguard having a penis.

  • Mark Scourfield

    lol, what ever next, just Jealousy these People are, or who have Complained, which is a bit idious TBH.

  • Travis C Patterson

    Why is the headline “Gay Lidegaurd” when he identified as “bi”? Did you folks not read what he wrote?

  • Dane Austin Fox

    He’s not gay. He’s Bi an He’s posted a reddit in the past.

  • SFHandyman

    Why does the boss think they are going to lose customers if he continues to wear revealing shorts? Put him on the advertising. The new members they will gain will more than make up for the few uptight families that leave.

  • Andrew Button

    Swimwear can be revealing but thus should be said to all or none

  • Max Maxwell

    I think all guys would love to have what this guy has.

  • Pablo Paccecho

    I’ll be the judge of that…

  • Steven Germann

    He is bi and the boss didn’t have the issue. Read the article and false headline!

  • MMDD

    Apologies to queerty. If you read this guy’s more recent posts on reddit, he now self-identifies as gay and is engaged to another guy. Here’s a post of his from three months ago when asked about topping: “Gay guy here, I can go balls deep, but not in most guys I’ve been with. With my fiancé I can, but that was after months of stretching and gradually getting him used to my size. Out of the very few girls I’ve slept with in the past, it didn’t go well, but that also may have been just because I really wasn’t into it.”

    • Gary_Gans

      @MMDD Thanks for the update. I’m happy that he met someone and wish him the best!

  • o.codone

    @Rogério Machado: ahhhahahaahhahahahahahahhahahahahhhhahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahhahahahhahahahhahaha. ahhhahahhahahahhaha. hahhahahhahahhaha.ahhhahahahhahahhahaha.hahahhahahahahhaa.ha.ha.ha.

  • SheaLaRoux

    Since you are bi… I just have to say I can handle it and would even help you have more confidence. If your sexual partners have not done that for you then shame on them for making you feel bad about it. I would be happy with my man no matter the size if I am in love but I do prefer your size. ;)

  • RIGay

    Wow! He and I have the same problem! Only mine has to do with trying to keep my 54″ waist contained in the waistband of my Speedo…

  • Michael Claypoole

    It sounds to me like his boss is homophobic. He had no problem hiring Jake when he had a need for lifeguards. Now he can probably afford to loose one and so, rather than defending his employee, he’s using these ‘few complaints’ to try and force Jake out. I’d be getting some pro bona legal involvement if i were Jake.

  • largetony

    This pings a little bit on the BS meter to me. Not saying he isn’t packing. Not saying it’s not evident in speedos. But the Chicken Little scaring the children aspect is a bit much. Maybe onePlus, “woe is me, my dick is too big” posts are always suspect. I say that as someone who has a very big dick (similar proportions to the guy in story). I was even a lifeguard, as well, at a community pool in my teens. I have filled out my fair share of Speedos and know from experience that unless you remove the liner and are erect, your junk gets compacted quite a bit. Not hidden, by any means. But not potentially obscene. I played organized basketball in high school and beyond, and continue to now in a rec league at age 40. So I have been in locker rooms almost my entire life and being endowed well above average has never been an issue. Not for me, nor for those around me. And I have never felt embarrassed or ashamed about it. Nor have I ever felt need to hide it. Sure, there are have been jokes or comments from time to time. But nothing more than typical locker room teasing that goes on between males. I would accept that maybe one parent (or even two) has expressed concerned. But anything beyond that I find tough to swallow. (Pun intended.) Unless he’s getting a boner around kids. Then there is a much bigger problem.

    • Gary_Gans

      Hey Tony! Are you still in Tennessee? I hope all is well with you, the Attorney and your family. I read your blog for the entire five years, and you were a great writer that I read as you were opening up about the relationship, but also about your dreams, conflicts, funny moments, and yes, your junk deserved the term you still use today. I wish you well.

  • Sweetie Pie

    Pic of the protruding anatomic part…or it did not happen

  • hyhybt

    @Tattyfatty: If, as he says, it’s big to the point people he’d otherwise have sex with cannot take it, that’s a legitimate problem.

    “What advice would you give him?” For starters, don’t post emails from work on the internet!

    If he really does need to hide it, perhaps drag queen tactics would help.

  • jimstoic

    I qualified to be a lifeguard, though I never had the job. That took a LOT of swimming lessons. This was when Mark Spitz was famous for winning nine Olympic gold metals. The lifeguards had a lifesize (or so it seemed to me) poster of Spitz in his red, white, and blue Speedo hanging on the back of the door to their office. My 14-year-old self definitely did not complain.

  • rand503

    @jimstoic: I remember that. And later I learned that every gay guy did too.

  • rickhfx

    Give me a break, prudes.

  • Sammy Schlipshit

    This is a problem only in the USA and other repressive cultures.

  • Tattyfatty

    @hyhybt: If your boss comes to with a complaint why not address the issue? why the need to run to the internet. If the boss sent you an email saying your dick was too small ( cant think of a reason a boss would do that but that is not the point) would you run and post it on the internet? Just comes across as a round about way of bragging to me.
    If there was a quick explanation and a simple asking for advice it would be one thing, but the whole drawn out story with measurements and everything? seems like attention seeking to me.

  • seaguy

    Jealousy can make people be so mean.

  • Thomas Riccobuono

    Of the many problems one could have, this is one I woodn’t mind having…tee-hee-hee.

  • hyhybt

    @Tattyfatty: No, I wouldn’t. Notice I was advising AGAINST sharing work emails.

  • 90zadkiel

    Date Me !!! I am telling you… I can take it and take it like a good bottom should !!!!!!

  • laurent7465

    First of all, people need to keep their perverted eyes out of your crotch. If it bothers them so much, again stop looking.
    As for women complaining about it and not wanting their precious children to see it, she should be teaching her kids they shouldn’t be focused their either and she should educate her kids that not everyone is as small as daddy is. That’s her problem.
    Other guy’s laughing in showers/locker room….100% pure jealously and self loathing.
    Be happy with what you have. Wear shorts, wear swim suits that you like, do whatever. F**k people and their unwanted opinions.
    I would love to ‘suffer’ from your problem’ :)

    Laurent

  • Maximiliano5458

    It is sad that even well endowed men have to suffer for being above average size. I hope that this young man can attain happiness and understanding by a thoughtful partner that will be able to help, accomodate to his size and make him worthy of what nature gave to him.

  • BlogShag

    Freakin’ ridiculous!!! Because he is DNA blessed, he deserves complaints??? People just need to shut up and go read Family Circle or something. I mean seriously, leave the guy alone.

  • Jaroslaw

    There are quite a few a propos comments here, but I’m going to add a different perspective – When my town built a new high school, for the last 2 years of my HS experience, we had a pool. It was also coed. I wasn’t particularly large or maybe I grew faster than the other boys, plus I was super skinny, so I WAS dangling all over the place. I felt self conscious, so I requested shorts as opposed to speedo type suits.

    The letter to the employee was written very courteously and that is what management does, quells issues. Although I have to agree also with Largetony – my BS meter is going off too. Little kids could care less how big a dick is and kids old enough to notice (and parents) already know dicks, boobs and butts come in a very wide range of sizes. Apparently this is a “huge” issue pun intended based on the fact there are SO many comments. But ultimately, if it bothers you, STOP looking. Problem solved.

  • artoir

    I say just be who you are and you have no need to be ashamed of what you got. Everyone is ashamed of something about them, no matter how hot, cute, sexy, etc. We all have issues of some sort and faults (or what we may see as a fault) is a part of what makes us human. If your job requires you to “hide”, then maybe it’s time for a different job.

  • Navalator

    My god, i wish that I had his problem. I will bet that his closeted boss envies him.

  • pscheck2

    Methinks, that he is subtle in bragging about his endowment and does a good job of portraying himself as a put-upon normal’ guy trying to maneuver through the locker rooms of everyday life! Since subsequent to this original article, he posted that he is gay and not bi is now engaged to his boyfriend who is now stretched to accommodate his oversize penis! (Lucky him -bf!).

  • Curtispsf

    Pis or it didn’t happen 2

  • Celtic

    Who knows, really? Without seeing, touching it, tasting it and riding it one is hard put to validate this commentary. As to being uncut, that is the natural c**k. Americans are obsessed with cutting off the foreskin, which is an abomination. Skin is in! I think a full nude photo op is in order. SLURP.

  • nmharleyrider

    Gee Life is rough all over

  • droptopbm8

    Lmfaooooooo… he was probably walking around the pool with a semi sticking his pelvis out!!! I just fell out!!! Ridiculous!!!

  • Daggerman

    …life is such a bitch! So he’s got a large member, what should he really do? Say to his boss I can’t do much about it, because the human race has become affected and pretentious ie: believing a big dick means your much better in every department and are completely gifted.

  • Mike999

    This happens to me all the time, even in baggy shorts or slacks. I can’t help I am huge. Get over it.

  • izzird

    It still irks me the ridiculous uproar made over the male bulge to the point where it’s nearly always censored on network and even some cable television. But the female bulges (cleavage) are always displayed without any hint of censor even on network television. The more cleavage the better. It’s reverse sexism & hypocrisy.

  • gary69mike

    Hmmm…. If you don’t like what you see, don’t look. If I’m at a public beach or at a waterpark my board shorts do a pretty good job at concealing the bulge but after my head came into contact with part of the Velcro fly and I almost jumped out of my skin, now I wear a speedo or Andrew Christian underwear underneath and it’s actually more comfortable. If I’m at an “adult” beach, it’s speedos all the way! One day at the gym I must have been in a fog because I forgot to wear underwear… I’m in good shape (worked hard to get there) but after that day I must have gained some gym cred from the muscle heads, now always fist bumping me and asking if I need a spot. Really? Closet cases! Hahahaha!!! There is one guy I’d like to give me a spot though.

  • Herman75

    Sounds contrived.
    Maybe he’d like to show Jake dark place to hide that gigantic weenus for awhile.

  • alanb32244

    I gave up worrying about it. Be upfront with any guys and explain that you are just too big for most of them and you prefer not to do anal. You will not have the same problem with women. I was always bigger than others in the locker room and I felt ver self-conscious about it. I have finally given up wondering about why they are looking. If they are jealous, they are wrong. Being big is not the fun it is cracked up to be. I know. Good luck.

  • silveroracle

    Sounds like the boss is using so called ‘parents complaints’ to make this an issue.
    Smacks of homophobia to me.

  • justyouandi

    Check out lpsg.org

  • justyouandi

    By the way lpsg.org is Large Penis Support Group

Comments are closed.