Relationship trends

More and more gay Millennials are resurrecting monogamy from the dead

This just in: Polyamory and open relationships may be on the outs. And monogamy may be making a comeback.

A new study by researchers Lanz Lowen and Blake Spears has found some surprising new relationship trends, especially among gay men ages 18-39.

In addition to being colleagues, Lowen and Spears have been a couple for over 40 years.

“We had been in a non-monogamous relationship for 36 years and were curious about the experience of others,” the pair says. “There wasn’t any roadmap and we assumed long-term couples might offer valuable perspectives and hard-earned lessons.”

Related: Are Millennials Leading Monogamy On A Slow March Towards Death?

For their latest study, they wanted to find out how younger gay men viewed monogamy, non-monogamy and marriage.

The recruited a range of men, both single and in relationships. 42% of the respondents were single, the other 58% were in relationships.

Of the men who were in relatuonships, 632 identified as monogamous, 152 identified as “monogamish”, and 48 identified as non-monogamous.

The Good Men Project reports:

One of the big surprises: Ninety percent of the responding singles stated they were seeking monogamous relationships, and 92 percent of them expect to marry. Also, half of the men identified as being in long-term monogamous relationships, while other previous research that up to two-thirds of couples who have been together for five years or more are non-monogamous.

In other words: More guys are either identifying as being in monogamous relationships or wanting to be in monogamous relationships than before.

In fact, monogamy was equated with marriage by 58% of all respondents, while only 31% viewed non-monogamy as an option for a married couple, with 11% being unsure. In other words, the majority of interviewed younger men in monogamous relationships considered monogamy to be the norm.

That attitude seemed to extreme across most age groups as well. 89% of singles 25 and under said they were seeking monogamous relationships. For singles 26-30, 93% said they wanted monogamous relationships. And among those aged 31-40, 92% were said they sought monogamous relationships.

Older respondents, however, reported being more open to non-monogamy.

When it came to the overall health of their relationships, both monogamous and non-monogamous couples said they viewed their relationships as healthy and stable (98% and 92%), satisfying (98% and 91%), and likely to continue for the next five years (98% and 86%).

Related: 30 Percent Of Queerty Readers Believe Marriage Is Not About Monogamy


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