There are plenty of examples of different age brackets paying less for goods and services — senior discounts at movie theaters and grocery stores, student discounts for theater or train tickets. Nobody seems to mind.
But the South Florida chapter of The Impulse Group, a non-profit that “focuses on the sexual and overall health of the gay community” by hosting and promoting swanky parties, has been accused of age discrimination following a pool party in Miami.
Party-goers under the age of 40 were welcomed free of charge to frolic poolside at the retro-chic Vagabond Hotel, while those over 40 were required to pay a $50 “donation.” It’s hard to spin that as a ‘discount,’ and many feel it more closely resembles an ‘age tax.’
“I’m amazed at the invite I just received – free admission up to 40 years of age and $50 over 40,” wrote Ed Stevens in an email to South Florida Gay News. “In addition to whether this is even legal, it’s a shocking and blatant attempt to exclude mature people and another instance of how people in our community should know better, given the discrimination and judgements we face in the mainstream world. And I was looking forward to going back to this beautifully restored landmark.”
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The practice is nothing new, though the abrupt jump from nothing to $50 seems a bit extreme. SFGN reports that it’s common for LGBT social events in South Florida to charge young people less in an effort to get them involved in the community.
Still, the pool party Facebook page lit up with angry comments:
“The distinct impression is not that they want older folks to fund the party, but that they don’t want them to attend at all. Just young, beautiful people, right? What’s next, keeping fat folks away?,” wrote Tori Bertran.
Another commentator, Scott Pluto, trolled the page by writing, “Who wants old trolls there staring at young guys. It’s a young mans group….So what if they want to charge old people.”
h/t: SFGN
Anthony Howard
And Mr Pluto will be 40+ one day. Hope she survives her narcissism!
MarionPaige
This is outrageous. The Gay Men over 30 should also have been charged.
Glücklich
What utter BS. The over-40 crowd can hang out at my place any ol’ time.
Would they be charging Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman, Anderson Cooper or anyone like that? Cut the crap and charge everyone $20. Done deal.
Jason Statham, Andrew Lincoln, Zeljko Ivanek and Ralph Fiennes (for starters) could “troll” me all day long if they were gay.
Mike Benevenstanciano
How else are you gonna get eye candy for the creepers?
F. Jay Ver
I think we have to face the ugly truth that as a community we are extremely shallow. Some more than others.
Realitycheck
Another Big News!!! Like gay bar did not reflect the age divide,
not to mentions other kinds of divide, from interest to color
to class, come to NYC and see for yourselves…………
Dieter Michaels
today’s gay communtiy is just so pathetic.
Merv
I’m offended by the implicit assumption that anyone over 40 is an ugly troll. Younger people can be ugly trolls, too. A better system would be to have a catwalk out front and distribute a smartphone app that allows attendees to rate them to determine how much they are charged to get in. That way they could ensure that nobody without a full head of hair, straight teeth, and six percent body fat will get in without paying a hefty fine.
MarionPaige
You know, maybe Russell T. Davies point with the tv series Cucumber is to get the gay community to actually see older gay men by surrounding them with young hot guys. Cucumber has a staggering number of outrageously hot guys IN THE BACKGROUND, the camera is always point directly at two ugly old gay men.
HudsonLife
While I believe charging a higher price based on age is discriminatory I find this to be absolutely hilarious! OLD TROLLS!!! ROTFLMFAO. Who do you think paved the way for you to have these parties and this freedom? I was there “back in the day” when Versace was alive and South Beach was a thing. I am delighted … thrilled that science has developed meds to prolong life and healthy living so I can watch you grow older. I lost most all of my friends, lovers and acquaintances to HIV/AIDS you little pishers. Life moves very fast have some dignity now (you’ll need it later!) XO
Cagnazzo82
@MarionPaige: If they tried to charge me for being over 30 I’d just pretend to be in my mid-20s. I still look it anyway (thanks to my genes).
I probably wouldn’t attend such a party anyway. Along with ageism, who knows what other type of discrimination the people throwing that event might find acceptable.
The next step is likely charging for noticeable effeminism while letting straight/masc in free.
Jay Tee
Isn’t this like “ladies night” at straight clubs? Granted, I think both are stupid and ridiculous but does have business benefits. In the end though, its bad PR for community already targeted for its shallowness.
Gordon
Yo! We all get old – Perhaps we should all check ourselfs! Age is just a number – Beauty is fleating and everyone should pay the same dam price!
Sukhrajah
Wait! What? There are gay men that are over 40? I thought that they go to stay at a farm upstate?
That said, I they should have reversed the pricing scheme, because in case people have yet to notice – South Florida has a healthy stock of gorgeous, mature, gay men. Keep the twinks, bring on the DILFS!
Daniepwils
Men over 40 are hotter than men under 30 😀
mastik8
What the gay community lacks in depth it more than makes up for in shallowness.
notevenwrong
@Glücklich, agreed.
Add to your list the likes of Bradley Cooper (40), Aaron Eckhart (47), Paul Rudd (46), Eric Bana (46), John Hamm (44), Gerard Butler (45), Neil Patrick Harris (41), Tom Ford (53).
Also, the idea that those of us over 50 should be able to afford a $50 cover or stay home is insulting. So the “daddies” should pay for the younger guys’ party? Is that the equality that our generation fought for so that the next generation can treat us like this? Fuck that. Are we going to have to get fake driver’s licenses again at our age?
revjshoregoss
unfortunately it should have been the other way around the pretty young twinks need the older established crowd to support them!
avesraggiana
Why anybody over forty would show up at one these parties anyway, oblivious to the reality that all they’d be doing is funding the drinking habits of a horde of ungrateful, self-absorbed, brain-less, tweaked out twinks, is beyond me. I say, stick it to the over forty set for being so stupid for showing up. They deserve it.
Middle aged and older men, gay or straight, with any kind of self-respect or dignity, would wait for the cute young twinks to come to them. And if they don’t, so what? Will their lives be any poorer for having missed the opportunity to meet a jobless, car-less, homeless, money-less, clue-less party boy using his mama’s ATM card? I think not.
Kev
Just following the rest of America in that no one can socialize with anyone outside of their immediate age group anymore. Hanging out with people who are 20 or 30 years younger/older can lead to great friendships.
avesraggiana
I myself am over fifty. With a modicum of dignity and self-respect, and some of my good looks and most of my smarts.
Paco
This isn’t surprising. What rock have some of you been hiding under to not notice this behavior in our community before? I’m sure a “fat tax” is soon to follow for these parties as well.
Bad Ass Biker
Well, it has been a long time since I have been 40, but even at my age, I have many friendsm a great sex life and I am completely uninterested in anyone under 40. Let the twinks play by themselves.
Sweet Boy
One of the many reasons why I told the “gay community” to fornicate themselves…I have some gay friends, some bi friends and some hetero friends…the gay community for me is a non-entity and will never get a single penny from me
Masc Pride
It’s a marketing move (not discrimination), and it’s actually not just gays that do it. Straight events have free admission for women all the time. The guys don’t sit around crying discrimination about it. Promoters know that hot girls get the guys there. Same with this, young guys with hot bodies get the 40+ crowd packed in. When was the last time you saw a flyer for a gay event with a 40+ model?
Paco
@Masc Pride: the difference is that “Ladies Night” includes ALL women. Not just the young hot ones. If it was set up where the older ladies had to pay, you can bet there would be some controversy.
DavidIntl
One of the sad realisations of my life was – after having gone through the significant turmoil in my life that came from coming out to be with a (signficantly younger) partner – subsequently discovering, after that relationship fell apart after a few years, that most of the gay community I had longed to openly be a part of was in fact frustratingly and shamelessly ageist. We start to overcome one flavour of hateful discrimination from outside the gay community only to face another from within it.
jantheman4903
over 40..have a LOT of money to spend..on under 40 or hotel packages…whatever is offered.
Psams6901
The only thing that surprises me is that there wasn’t also a scale at the entrance to keep the fatties out.
redcarpet30
This is why I have never even bothered with this section of gaydom. I stay as far away as possible. At least the bears don’t pull this kind of shit, not that they don’t have their problems. But as a group they don’t behave in nearly as mean-girls sort of way (at least not on the scale that seems to happen with the A-gays).
Leon Wilborn
Yeah…no.
passingthru
Who cared? If you don’t like it, then don’t go. Very simple.
Queertyreader2
He who lives by the sword shall, metaphorically die by the sword. All young pretty gay men will be old gay men. Every single one of them without exception, you will live by the rules that you create. Sadly a ageists never seem to figure that out
ISpeakOnlyTruth
This community wants acceptance but has no problem saying “F you” to it.
I’d rather put my $’s to deserving people than a group of hairless babies who think their crap doesn’t stink.
The only adults who need to be around ones that are their grandchildren ages are ones who cannot accept getting older.
The little babies will have their turn at begin shown the middle finger when they’re older, so let it go…..
And to the reference of “Troll” if that makes you feel big saying that, have at it. You’re day is coming
AtticusBennett
MANY hetero clubs/parties have “‘ladies pay no cover” nights and events. it’s how they make sure the party is not a total sausage fest.
this is merely a way to get as many young folks in as possible, if you’re over 40 and want to party with a bunch of twenty somethings, have at it and pay the fee.
i’m in my early 30s, and though i wouldn’t have to pay, i also am past that stage in my life when such parties are particularly enjoyable and would simply not choose to attend, free or not.
Chris
As someone approaching the age of senior discounts, I see the irony in price breaks for younger folk. However, a $50 price break seems, at the very least, unwarranted if not outright ageist.
Masc Pride
@Paco: It doesn’t matter the age of the women for what I’m saying: Men still have to pay where women don’t. You NEVER see str8 guys whining about it being discriminatory. It’s not necessarily a “Ladies’ Night” either. They just get in free for atmosphere, which gets the guys to come and pay. Same here. Only difference is straight events/nightlife don’t usually have 40+ trying to party with 20 and 30-somethings. lol
wpewen
@Dieter Michaels: Yes, the community is not only pathetic but has not evolved. When I was in my 20’s in SoCal I mostly broke away from it, one time I had a friend call me a troll (I was 26 and he was 23). And,he almost meant it. I came out at 19 in LA in the 70s’ and I was struck immediately by the sheer pathology of the age issue.
I’m 56, some people think I look 20 years younger. I do laugh some, I’m really glad NOT to have to interface with many young gay men now-what a fucking strange bunch of nothing. No speedos, face lifts, dance music. I’m more like my Dad than I ever was that.
Chris
@AtticusBennett: Here i disagree with you, good sir. The $50 price difference makes me gasp and clutch my pearls.
AxelDC
I have to admit that I discriminate against these parties by never going to them.
Kirk99
Scott Pluto sounds like a shallow ass. Everybody over 40 should just not go. There has to be another place to go other than this. Let the “charity” suck up the loss and see how shallow the’ll be next time when donations from the over 40 crown dry up.
miamisuchsanyway
I WOULDNT WORRY GUYS, THIS IS WHY MIAMI IS GOING DOWN, THEY HAVE NO SENSE OF COMMUNITY AT ALL, AND THE YOUNG FAGS ARE JUST A BUNCH OF BAREBACKIN DRUG ADDICTED QUEENS, SO WHO CARES?
THEY ARE ALL GOING TO END UP IN WILTON MANORS ONE DAY. AND THEY MAKE FUN OF WILTON, LOL, THATS BECAUSE THEY ARE JELOUS THAT MIAMI DOES NOT HAVE WHAT WE HAVE HERE IN LAUDDY! THE BEST NIGHTLIFE, CLEAN BEACHES, NICE PEOPLE, CHEAP DRINKS, FREE ENTRY AT MOST CLUBS AND FREE PARKING MOSTLY! SCREW MIAMI! ITS WORTH ONE THING, UM SORRY CANT THINK OF 1! LOL MIAMI PRIDE WAS A JOKE, ITS NOW A CIRCUIT PARTY FULL OF DRUGS, YEAH SOME PRIDE! ITS A TOTAL EMBARESSMENT TO GAYS AND A STRONG COMMUNITY LIKE FT LAUD, LA AND NY!
Paco
@Masc Pride: Quit trying to compare it to heterosexuals, where traditionally the man (regardless of age) does pay and the women don’t. That is a tradition that heteros have accepted and settled into for a very VERY long time. You simply cannot compare it to gay men. Expecting older gay men to pay, while everyone else gets in for free, because you want only a specific type to show up, is ridiculous.
Besides, where does it stop? Cover charge based on skin tone or body weight to insure the majority only fit into a certain demographic?
3235142779
IF THEY DISCRIMINATED ME LIKE THAT, I WOULD SUE THEM IN SMALL CLAIMS COURT IMMEDIATELY FOR AGE DISCRIMINATION AND WRITE THEM BAD REVIEWS ON VARIOUS WEBSITES, INCLUDING YELP.COM AND TRIPADVISOR.COM WHEREBY I AM AN EXECUTIVE WRITER!
Kirk99
Everyone over 40 should not offer one cent to this charity. Let’ see what happens when they lose a lot of their dupport
3235142779
@Dieter Michaels: DIETER U ARE CUTE, CALL ME 3235142779 FACEBOOK HOWARD PAUL SHORE
SteveDenver
Perhaps those with complaints should approach THE VAGABOND HOTEL.
Approach local papers about this ageist activity at THE VAGABOND HOTEL.
Leave questions as to why this activity is allowed on sites where THE VAGABOND HOTEL has presence.
Send emails to the owners and managers of THE VAGABOND HOTEL.
Start here: http://www.thevagabondhotel.com/contact-en.html
Stu Chamberlain
If you think this sort of thing is limited to Miami, think again. In California, old folks are not admitted at all. Ads for parties in NYC specify “fit men 21-35.” At the late and unlamented Studio 54, the widely-admired doorman would tell would-be customers “Go away, you’re not pretty enough.” Smart party promoters welcome anyone with the price of admission, and somehow a good time is had by all.
AtticusBennett
@Chris: oh, don’t get me wrong – i do think this is decidedly ugly for the organizers. it’s a blatant case of “if y’all old folks are gonna come we’re gonna take as much money from you as we can, because we don’t want you hear”
and let’s be real – how hard is it to get young gays to a pool party in miami, am i right?
it’s blatant that they don’t want guys over 40 there. and i think that’s decidedly unpleasant. but like i said, i’d not be attending anyway.
Low Country Boy
Young gay men should remember that one day, Goddess help them, they will also be older. Ageism is one of the worst things in the gay community, but karma is a bitch. The hottest guy in my high school class (a former friend and a major crush) used to model and was very popular when we went out. Now at almost 50, he is fat, bald and miserable to be around. To quote an old adage: “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
AtticusBennett
i suppose one could make the argument that as you get older your ideas of fun grow with you.
like i said, i don’t like what this party is doing – but i also outgrew enjoying gay pool parties like this before i reached my late twenties.
ageism is real. but it’s also something that comes up most when some guy who’s, well, “older”, wants to get with or party with the babygays.
OhHellNo
The attempted allegories to senior-citizen discounts (which mostly exist because most seniors simply can’t afford to pay the same prices on a loving budget of a few hundred bucks per month) and straight-bar ladies’ nights (which mostly exist because dangling vaginas at straight men tends to make said men spend more money on drinks for said women than said women would spend themselves in a thousand years) are Sarah-Palin level idiocy. Those two things are INclusionary on the surface (yet really about making more money) while charging the over-40 crowd for something like this without charging the under-40 bunch is definitely EXclusionary (and, strangely enough, will net LESS money – maybe the organizers are just math-stupid). I would venture to guess that, if anything, it shoud be the other way around – younger folks have on the average tons more extra money to throw around, sugar daddies notwithstanding (although I realize that prEp and Ecstacy ain’t cheap). This is just the next step in the process that turned Disney Gay Days from a day to feel included into a week to squeeze as much money out of the homos as humanly possible – the sad part is that it’s gay people doing it to gay people, which once again disproves the myth of a “gay community”. People whose only point of commonality is the gender with which they share their genitals do not, nor will they ever, make a community. Indeed, in the average bar you can easily find 30 gay people who can’t stand nearly everyone else there. The party thing is people being scumbags, and that is far more common than being gay. Besides, one would hope that by 40 people would be secure enough not to feel the need to dance around in their rhinestone jocks with people who would replace them on their friend list in a heartbeat if they died tonight.
AtticusBennett
@OhHellNo: this one thing “disproves the ‘myth’ of the gay community”?
no it doesn’t.
i’m an active member of many gay communities, and greater LGBT communities.
this is one outdoor circuit-type event party. this one party of douchebaggery in no way negates the reality of thriving, diverse and inclusive greater gay communities. i’d know. i’m a part of them.
petergm
Can one really be surprised to find diversity within any group or,”community”?
Roger Gindi
Appalling!
mrzodiac2003
Good thing I’m not into twinks anyway.
notevenwrong
@AtticusBennett: “MANY hetero clubs/parties have “‘ladies pay no cover” nights and events. it’s how they make sure the party is not a total sausage fest. this is merely a way to get as many young folks in as possible, …”
That comparison only makes sense if you accept as given that older = undesirable.
Why do people applaud their great-aunt who still puts on her dancing shoes and goes out – everyone thinks that’s just wonderful – but then turn around and stigmatize older gay men who like going out dancing as pathetic? Why is ageism okay when directed against a lively older gay man but not the lively older lady?
AtticusBennett
@notevenwrong: i’m not exactly defending it. i think it’s a decidedly ugly policy, not to mention that it’s not a difference of 10 bucks, but fifty!
when it comes to ageism i think “both sides” of the spectrum need perspective:
young folks, you’re gonna be old one day. old folks, you were young once.
i remember being hit on by much “older” guys when i was 18/19, and more than a few called me “ageist” – yeah, well, i was a teenager! as i’ve grown and gotten older, so have my tastes in men. they’ve grown with me.
as much as i don’t like what this party is doing, and i do think it smacks of ageism, there’s also a reality that often times “ageism” is unfortunately doled out when it’s …well…. an “older person” hitting on a much younger person, when the older person isn’t into guys his own age *either*
but hey, if you wanna go dance at this pool party by all means do it. it’s not pathetic to go out dancing. but even now in my early-30s, there’s a world of things i’d rather do than dance with a bunch of twinks.
J.r. Graff
If anything, the twinks should be charged double since they’re more of a liability given that most of them are reckless drunks.
ShowMeGuy
You can’t host a party as a funds raiser and target the 20-nothings and then not charge your party-goers. It’s a funds raiser….you charge everyone.
Host a party as a business to make a profit, charge 50 bucks…..then let the half naked and drunk cutie-pies in for free to provide scenery and prey…which gives incentive to the Daddies and the Gayntiques to come out and pay for the party.
The economic reality. Youth has enthusiasm and sexy bodies as currency. Age has money and wisdom.
jason smeds
Today’s gay community is like a set of segregated fetish clubs where only certain people of a certain appearance are welcome. It’s the natural result of a mindset that begins with the word “gay” and evolves into a philosophy built on a sex act.
Wil Clemens
There are communities for the elderly where the young are not allowed to live so is that discrimination ?
Brian K Johnson
How do we demand equality and then do this? No different than the $4000 fine on trans people for using their non-cis bathroom.
JodyBoy
@Kev:
Agree here, not to mention American prudishness, hypocrisy, invented crises, unnatural attitudes toward sex, cherry picked sensationalized “news” stories and a gullible population that sucks it all in as absolute unimpeachable truth. Now don’t get me started!
Tim Parker
Vegas clubs do this every night. Only letting in the young and beautiful.
Saint Law
@jason smeds: Yeah but to be fair I think you’d find any event anywhere ‘segregated’ the moment you arrived.
Derick Lindsey
That’s lame. But not surprising.
Saint Law
Like peaches stewed in piss, the young uns who squawk about ‘ugly olds’ always age very badly.
3235142779
@AtticusBennett: u are so fuckin cute, call me 3235142779 paul
siltor67
fags and their ageism
Masc Pride
@Paco: That’s a really flimsy logic. One easily could argue that older gay men traditionally pay when in relationships with younger guys (i.e. rent boys, a scenario that has also been around for a very, VERY long time). Whether gay or straight, it’s still certain people that don’t have to pay where others do. People are people. Straight guys aren’t paying for the women; they’re paying to get into the club/event. They’re only charged because they’re men. People always have the choice to go to another club or event if they don’t like it.
Troy Herman-Cordova
In 1997, Club One in Savannah Georgia charged different covers for gay and str8 folks. I’m gay and walked in with my str8 sister, they assumed we were a couple and charged us $5 more than her str8 husband who was just ahead of us with a gay friend. Man/Woman charged $20 vs Man/Man charged $15. I got 2 feet inside the club and went back. The door staff were immediately rude and indignant. “If you don’t like our prices, go somewhere else”. The look of shock that their game was caught was comeuppance enough. LOL…Personally, I’ve always preferred the older gay crowds over younger/my age (at the time) crowds. As a proud 40+, PISS OFF if you don’t want my money. Ya’all are going to be 40+ someday and the same doors that once welcomed you will slam in your face instead. Fasten those seat belts, bitches!!!
IcarusD
@Jay Tee: The laws probably vary widely by jurisdiction, but in San Francisco both straight clubs and lesbian parties have gotten in trouble for charging women less than men. One bar almost lost their liquor license permanently because of a lesbian club promoter doing that. (She’s now banned from the bar for life.) It’s also illegal to have free or reduced drink prices for women.
Some bars have gotten around age issues like this by having “college nights” where cover is waived for people with a college ID — but that puts the cutoff way lower than 40, except for re-entry students older in life, and usually it’s not a $50 cover. And often club promoters will fill their guest lists with their young, pretty friends, but you couldn’t fill the place with your guest list or you’d never make money.
IcarusD
@Stu Chamberlain: “In California, old folks are not admitted at all.” Wait, where in California does that happen? Totally illegal, and the ABC would yank a bar’s liquor license for that. Private clubs and parties can sometimes get away with things like that, but only if they don’t have a liquor license.
Doughosier
Are we all going to pretend young people aren’t prettier? That’s nature folks. We start dying at around 19 and year by year we fade. A shallow event where people are almost nakedis going to put the emphases on younger guys. Is it discrimination that porn uses younger models?
sportyguy1983
Kind of pathetic that gay guys over 40 (or even over 30) are going to these circuit party like events. Peter Pan syndrome much?
Timothy Herbert
because at 40 you’re gay-dead… our culture is the most discriminatory on the planet.
Josh447
I’m a bit surprised that I will need to make a second FAKE ID in one lifetime. Thankfully it won’t describe me as ‘Troll’ like the majority of young guys I see in the gay community. Now don’t get testie kiddies, just kidding.
Josh447
PS I’ve been to the White Party in Palm Springs twice. I found a few, maybe a minute handful of guys attractive. And most were from San Diego and LA.
dave lopes
Parties should be as exclusionary as they want.
Julian Trovada
I am a gay man and I have seen discrimination for those OVER THIRTY!!!
Richard Neely
I get all kinds of interest bc I don’t necessarily look my age. When I say I’m 46, I become invisible.
Anthony Burgos
That is disgusting. I hate sh*t like that. I never hang around gays or people that are like that. We will all get there at some point. Older folks are some of the most interesting because they have stories to tell and talk about and it’s not all gay drama and the same drunken or slutty bullsh*t.
Jeanluc Capri
Age discrimination is intolerable, especially in the LBGT community.
Glücklich
@Doughosier:
Sounds like you’re missing out on some good porn starring the sublime Adam Russo, Alan Silver, and Dirk Caber to name just a few.
callenstewart
Just rude. If no one over attends, then there would be fo way to fund the parties. Screw ’em. (Metaphorically)
Bighorner
@Anthony Howard: I’m pretty sure when he hits 40, he won’t be some creeper begging younger dudes to let him suck their d***
Manny Yoko
NO COVER at Shady Pinesâ?¼ï¸
Kelly Keigwin
What a joke. Respect your elders and those who paved the way for you, little ingrates.
Bighorner
Old people always have the same line: “you’re going to be old one day too”. It’s as though they feel vindicated by that thought. Yes, we are going to be old someday, even if that’s 20 years from now, but I can guarantee you that once we reach that age, we aren’t going to be the creeps who stand and stare at the younger crowd. We will accept that we’re old gracefully and not use the “age is nothing but a number” as a pretense to hit on younger guys.
I know I’ll be old one day…all the better to enjoy my youth now…and distance myself from you geesers as much as I can, because one day, I will be forced to mingle with you. Why would I waste my youth associating with you?
Ryan Ellis
Smh
Giancarlo85
@Bighorner: Exactly. These same creeps try to hit on teenagers and claim that they will be old one day. As if that proves anything. One creep on here is Bob McBlah… He tries to hit on younger men to try to regain his long lost youth. Lol.
Even at 29, I wouldn’t hang or date someone twenty years older or more than me. Not even ten years.
Paco
@Bighorner: “We will accept that we’re old gracefully and not use the “age is nothing but a number” as a pretense to hit on younger guys.”
Oh bless your little, naive heart. You really made me smile. Thank you for that.
Michael Martinez
Proving once again that gays can be their own worst enemies. These sorts of things serve to splinter the community and create an us and them attitude.So charge men over 40 for “allowing” them to participate in activities. When those same men turn their backs on causes the young find necessary and important, they should not be surprised or offended.
ProfessorMoriarty
@Bighorner: How fortuitous, then! Because us mature fifty-something men would never be caught dead socializing with an immature brat like you in the first place.
Giancarlo85
@ProfessorMoriarty: Funny how many so called mature men are more immature than those younger than them.
Franklin
You know, not to throw bombs here, but it’s funny. When people of color talk about being marginalized in the gay community the overall attitude towards them is very dismissive, with people often telling them to get over it. Yet when when some of these same guys start to get older and become marginalized by that same gay community, they once held in such high regard all of a sudden, it becomes in their eyes shallow and discriminatory. Count me among those that think it’s wrong to be ageist, but I do believe there is a good bit of irony here.
Rob
Wonder if some stupid dyke will threaten to burn it down.
Rob
Where’s HRC and George Takei on this REAL discrimination?
bender1955
Hello to all: I have to say I rarely comment on any of these issues on here ; because most times they end up becoming s**t slinging fests . But this one hit a sensitive cord with me. First let me say i have been around for a long time in the gay world and have seen much good and bad stuff regarding our gay community. Now when I was the age these said cute /handsome boys are now ;I was an escort for mostly businessmen . The money was very nice and afforded me my college degree. And I also was a club dancer at 2 different clubs in Boston Mass. I had the quinticential swimmers body build and the other attributes that went along with it . It is the reason I did so well back then.
Now with that being said I haven’t seen those days for many many yrs. I am now going to be 60 y/o in September of this yr and not sure if it is good family genes or just luck but as a man approaching 60 my body has been good to me. i still have all my hair with a touch of gray creeping in and my body weight has maintained right around 145 to 150 pnds and my butt isn’t hitting the sidewalk anytime soon .And I don’t do the gym rat thing either.
I also know that there have been many of these events ALL over the world that do these promotions to get people to come to them BUT to exclude a certian type of persons weather it be older,size. color or gender style is just VERY VERY wrong in my book . It is a fact of life yes we all get old . And the ones that are of younger age now are also going to be there someday as well . So I want to go Back to them of those that scorned the 40+ persons and see how they like it 20 or 30 plus yrs and the younger people that are NOW scorning them and see just how they like it .
As a gay community as a whole we should be trying to form alliances together to help us thrive as a powerful and equal community for all of our rights as equal citizens no matter who we choose to sleep/live with ;seeing as there are so many that want to repress our right to live and love the person we want to share our life with .
But as we all know ; in our gay community we are our own worst enemy ; always passing judgement on our fellow gays. I remember a time when we ALL banned together to protect each other when any of our fellow gays were threatened in any way ;and I think if we could all do that again our community could and would be stronger than ever .
and BTW if anyone thinks that i am just presenting myself on paper/word of what I DO look like for my age??? just send me your email addy and i will gladly send you a pic showing you i am not buls**ting you .
so in closing I do hope that all the bad press this is giving these so called pool party events does give them a wake up call and maybe re-think there way of doing things And I myself would not attend one of these events as well . not that i couldn’t hold my own to any of these young guys ; but i just have more interesting things in my life to do than hang out at this type of event.
Oh and to regards to someone who made reference to the young guys being the handsome ones well let me tell you there was a guy in my high school class that was the all american football jock with the drop dead good looks; well he is now bald all his hot muscles are now fat and sagging and having 3 wives later and 8 friggin kids that are the worst bratty kids.So pretty IS only skin deep it comes down to the person of what they have become in life as they mature that REALLY counts .
Mr. steve H
Cagnazzo82
@Ra Hill: They don’t care about who paved the way.
They only care about masc, no fem, under 30, no fatties, etc… blah, and so on.
Basically the gay community these days amounts to ‘if I won’t sleep with you why should I bother associating with you’.
Perhaps the people who mock ‘gay lifestyles’ might have a point to some extent.
Giancarlo85
@bender1955: What?
Maybe if you spent less time trying to convince of your hot looks, you could type something that made more sense.
Scott Deer
And we expect everyone else to except us, when we can’t and won’t except our own, we have more subcategories then any other group of people.
Ra Hill
Let’s face it… it is the promoters and stupid. WHO Do THEY Think Paved THE Way FOR THEIR SORRY Young ASSES TO HAVE FREEDOMS From DISCRIMINATION They have!?!?
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!!!
Stache99
@Giancarlo85: I think you totally missed Benders point.
Stache99
@Bighorner: What a wonderful world order of segregation and discrimination you envision for everyone. Not.
Stache99
@Giancarlo85: “I wouldn’t hang or date someone twenty years older or more than me”.
Only a true ghetto fag would say something like that. Normal people that don’t live a ghetto life have all kinds of friends.
lykeitiz
@Giancarlo85: I can see you wanting to date someone your own age……everyone is entitled to their own type, but to say you wouldn’t hang with someone older? How obnoxious & small-minded.
Pete Martinez
It’s sad we want the world to accept us but we won’t accept each other 🙁
Jonathon Rosas
It’s sad to say but the gay community is beyond shallow and arrogant now a days! We shout and scream for equality and respect but a lot of them are bullies themselves. I never usually post things but it’s saddening to see how some ppl can be especially to our older generation of gays as they had to deal with so much more
seaguy
So I guess they think that once you hit 40 you strike it rich? I would have said my donation is nothing and went anyway just to be a bitch. I hope this group never holds another party again because of the negative backlash from this ageist decision to treat anyone 40 and over like they are not worthy unless they pony up some cash.
Cobalt Blue
Who wants to be in an infested pool?
winemaker
TO SCOTT PLUTO; ARE YOU FOR REAL? WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM , MUST BE PLUTO. WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT. THIS JUST PROVES WHAT I’VE KNOWN AS LONG AS I’VE BEEN OUT, THE GAY COMMUNITY IS TERRIBLY SHALLOW AND SUPERFICIAL. UNFORTUNATELY, THESE IDIOTS HAVEN’T A CLUE ABOUT LIFE. THEY BITCH AND SCREAM ABOUT BEING DISCRIMINATED AGAINST, THEN PULL SHIT LIKE THIS. TOO BAD THIS ARTICLE DIDN’T MENTION THE NAME OF THE CHARITY! I’ WOULD’VE MADE SURE I’D NEVER CONTRIBUTE TO THEIR COFFERS NOR WOULD ANY OF MY OVER FORTY FRIENDS, WHO BY THE WAY, WOULDN’T MISS THE FIFTY BUCKS, THEY’VE PLENTY OF DISCRETIONARY FUNDS. WHY PAY FIFTY BUCKS TO GET IN ONLY TO BE GIVEN ‘ATTITUDE’ , THAT CERTAIN RUDENESS MOST OF THE GAY MEN IN SAN FRANCISCO SEEM TO HAVE LIKE SOME DISEASE SUCH A PITY THAT THIS BS GOES ON IN THIS . FYI: IF IT’S IN THE CARDS, YOU WILL GET THERE SOMEDAY IF YOU’RE VERY LUCKY. THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS WHO WEREN’T SO LUCKY AND PASSED AWAY EARLY.
JPDonahue
‘Required’ and ‘Donation’ don’t work together. ‘Donation’ means, “It would be nice if you contributed to the event.”
Sooo… If they don’t get any oldies (which I am one) to to finance this party… who would cover the expenses?
onthemark
Aside from the expenses of the party itself, and the generational bitchiness… what does this non-profit actually DO?
The Impulse Group “’focuses on the sexual and overall health of the gay community’ by hosting and promoting swanky parties,”
That’s pretty circular.
Is it like those “circuit parties” where they raise money for “HIV awareness” by doing meth and barebacking?
@winemaker: Pluto is not even a planet anymore, it’s just an ice cold ROCK with an atmosphere of TOXIC GAS!
vaughnsopinion
I just emailed a letter to the Vagabond giving them my opinion on hosting such an ageist event. No response yet. I would have sent it to The Impulse Group as well, but they have disabled the “Contact” link on their website. Tired of hearing the truth, perhaps? This is not just a gay issue; it is far too prevalent in society in general and needs to be stopped.
notevenwrong
@Giancarlo85,
You wouldn’t be friends with someone ten years older than you? What are you doing on this forum then?
I always thought you were a bit emotional but your heart was in the right place. Now I just think you are an ignorant ass.
1EqualityUSA
My older friends are treasures. I cannot conceive of excluding their minds, spirits, and experience from my life.
maxdadmark
@F. Jay Ver: As is VERY apparent by some of the appalling comments here. If these queens are this shallow now, they’re going to have a very difficult time later.
Greg Marmai
Sounds about right in our community….sad to say.
Giancarlo85
@notevenwrong: You are the ignorant ass. Grow up. Not everybody is going to think the same as you. And not everybody wants to be your friend. I hang out with people my age. If someone has an issue with that, not my problem.
@Stache99: Why? Because I wouldn’t date someone way older than me? Sorry that excludes you. Act your age please.
@lykeitiz: How is that small minded or obnoxious? I have my type when it comes to dating and I have my type when it comes to friends. People just can’t handle the reality. I am not interested in getting to know some of the fat old slobs on here.
martinbakman
@3235142779: Plus, you use all caps, so people will take notice.
To me, the planners did not put enough thought into what they were organizing. Whatever their intentions (maybe they were just trying to get a bunch or rich mature men to attend their charity event 😉 )
they have caused ill will that should have avoided when trying to raise money.
OhHellNo
@AtticusBennett: If I’d meant it was the only thing, I probably wouldn’t have typed “once again”.
Maude
@winemaker:
Hey Winemaker, no need to SHOUT
Maude
YouTube: Noel Coward and/or Bea Lilly singing….”I’ve Been To A Marvelous Party”
John
So basically they are saying those over 40 supposedly have good jobs with decent pay and will come pay the cover and buy the overpriced watered down drinks as long as there is young eye candy who drink water (or a drink, if DADDY will buy them one). So to get the over 40 crowd to come we have to entice them with silly young guys (not all are silly twinks, but the ones that show up for some reason usually are). I am tired of paying the “gay tax” in the name of supporting the “gay community” $5+ beers, $10+ drinks plus a cover…forget it. Though I do see it as a shame that so much of our culture is disappearing as we assimilate and I would prefer “gay” businesses over assimilation, it boils down to my wallet and costs. If I am going to be overcharged…forget it.
Kevin Michael McCoy
No over 40? Then who would be footing the bar bills for all the twink leeches? Seems like a failed business model to me.
Patrick Laney
Is anyone REALLY surprised this happened?
Don Michael
I guess I’d ahve to pay double.
Jim Van Matre
the over 40 crowd should just face the fact that they are not wanted in these events.
Justin Jap
“…itâ??s common for LGBT social events in South Florida to charge young people less in an effort to get them involved in the community.” Right, it’s all about getting the younger people to be involved in the community. *cue eye roll*
Mark J McWilliams
They will be older someday and because of their age obsession will be very bitter old queens!
Merv
@onthemark:
“Is it like those ‘circuit parties’ where they raise money for ‘HIV awareness’ by doing meth and barebacking?”
I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. It’s funny that we’re all concentrating on the age discrimination aspect when there are far more objectionable issues with this organization.
Jesse Munoz
Lolled so hard. Then smh. then *speechless*
Giancarlo85
@John: LOL You assume too much. I think many over the over 40s on this site don’t have jobs and live off social security checks.
James Sigmon
really
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: Cheer up, Giancarlo – your job prospects have improved:
“Starting Friday, you won’t have to be good-looking to work for Abercrombie & Fitch Co. You’ll also be able to wear eye-liner, though not necessarily a nose ring.”
onthemark
@Merv: Thanks. The article was vague about the “sexual health” part of it and what the group does. So I thought, okay, I’m sure some of our bitchy Queerty posters will be knowledgeable enough about this non-profit to explain all that, but no one has (yet).
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: Offthemark back at it… with the same old nasty stuff. I work for an public utility company (one that actually does a lot for local communities). That’s all I’ll say.
What’s your job, offthemark? I guess with your mental condition it’s difficult to hold a job.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: It’s interesting that you can never tell when someone’s joking. You are entirely humorless. That’s hilarious.
Why do you hate Social Security so much? Are you a Republican now?
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: Offthemark is way off the mark once again.
I never said I hated social security. I think it’s a good thing.
Why do you misconstrue all sorts of things? Are you a psychopath?
Stupid fucking right winger.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: “Stupid fucking right winger.”???
You routinely insult people here for (supposedly) being on Social Security. Only Republicans do that. But typically, then you backtrack and say it’s a good thing! Make up your mind.
heavylifter
When I was younger I got fed up with the lecherous oldies lurking at gay venues, so I understand the motivation to filter them out of some parties.
I appreciate any man who is in top shape and a great attitude – gay, straight, young, old. That’s the only ones I would want to party with.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: Again, that statement is pretty much the truth. I’m not insulting anyone for being on social security. I’m just stating the facts. The older people here are most likely not wealthy. I’m not wealthy either… I’m making my way up, but I’m not well off. I view such things as food stamps as important too by the way (food stamps have a 2-1 advantage economically… for every dollar spent, they create double that).
You are a far right wing loser. That’s all you are. You denigrate me constantly and you are always responding to my posts. Get a fucking life please!
Giancarlo85
BTW, social security is a good safety net in this country. Where was I insulting that? I’m just stating facts about certain people on here though. Anyways, Republicans like abusing the system (free health care for congressmen, yet none for average people?). You sound like a republican to me offthemark.
larrytopping
1. It assumes older people have more money than younger people — NOT!
2. When the under-40s were in diapers and grade school, over-40s were fighting and winning the freedoms the younger ones are and have been enjoying — and this is the thanks we get?
3. Why are we treating each other w/ discrimination? Can you imagine how it would feel if our oppressors charged LGBT an admission fee to a public event, but gave free admission to straight folks? Are we any better than our oppressors?
pjm1
the answer is rather simple.
if you are unhappy about the policy of the AIDS HEALTHCARE FOUNDATION
a national organization with a local chapter is S. Florida, BOYCOTT the AIDS
HEALTH FOUNDATION in Florida an around the nation.
in fact, if you are political, look to see if your local government is financially supporting
the Aids Healthcare Foundation. If the local government is, put pressure n them to
give financing to other more deserving organizations — the government should not
be supporting discrimination. Write you city counsel reps, mayor and others that control
the purse strings — they listen to voters and those who are politically active.
there are plenty of well run organizations, apperently, the Aids Healthcare Foundation
is not one of the well run orgs and deserves no private or public funding.
Chris
As one of the people who falls into the “must pay $50” group, I am not amused by the assumptions about my motivations for contributing to HIV-prevention and similar organizations. Over the years, I have given and raised literally thousands of dollars in memory of a younger brother who died from AIDS before over-priced medications hit the
I have gone to many events attached to my donations and fund raising to be around gay folk. I never stay beyond the PG-18 rated times; I get it, it’s not for me.
But I will never contribute to THIS particular because of its loud and clear message: we don’t want you. My response: have at it, without my support.
If you’d like to get an idea about how to be inclusive, go to Bongos Night Club behind the American Airline Arena some night. Watch the older folk dance salsa old school under the sky on the patio; while younger kids dance it electronically inside. But both groups are there, dancing salsa. I see the same thing happen during Noche Latina at many So FL gay bars: older gay men dancing old school right next to the younger men who are doing their thing. THAT is being inclusive and that is how we should do it.
So what if an older guy looks; it shows they’re alive. And if a youngster is lucky, he’ll be around to look when e’s older as well. And he will be able to do so because people my age fought to get us accepted and medical care for everyone.
Stache99
@onthemark: Ha. You’re getting Giancarlo85’s panties all in a twist. Every joke you throw at her gets thrown back with “I know you are but what am I” brilliance. Lol
Stache99
@heavylifter: “When I was younger I got fed up with the lecherous oldies lurking at gay venues, so I understand the motivation to filter them out of some parties.”
What exactly does that mean though? Were they trying to force themselves on you or was it just the fact that they were there.
Stache99
@pjm1: Yes but what’s this got to do with the story. Is this fundraising for the AHF?
Giancarlo85
@Stache99: This guy is a little nutcase. Won’t even address me directly.
Stache99
@Chris: That sounds really cool. When I hear stories like yours it gives me hope for a future of a real community.
Then you contrast it to shitheads like this who do it in the name of charity. What an insult. If this is our future then were truly fucked. Gay men need to grow the fuck up and stop making everything about sex.
Garold Bulmerr
40%% thay go,s to a sex party have hiv and aids
Matthew Wallisch
Good. So wrong!!!!
Matthew Wallisch
Gay men can be very shallow. I don’t let that in my life. Ain’t got no time for that!!
pjm1
@Stache99: the Impulse Group is funded by AHF (i realize now
that was not clear from the above article. That is Impulse Group is essentially a subsidiary of AHF.
So, if people are upset about the Impulse Group, they can set to defund AHF.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: Stache already called you a “ghetto fag” !!!!! – and still you want more.
onthemark
@pjm1: THANKS! Finally some actual info.
IzzyLuna
Younger doesn’t mean hotter, just fyi.
surreal33
First and foremost Florida is the source of hatred, racism and homophobia so why would anyone want to party in Florida? Also the gay community has accepted as the norm that your entire self-worth is your age and appearance. I cannot understand why grown, well educated, men accept the narrative that bitchy, snot-nose, young, queens are to be worshipped. While young men are beautiful, by no means is physical beautiful an achievement in life worthy of praise. The narrative must change there is nothing to be ashamed of for simply aging. Beauty comes in all ages, shapes, sizes and colors.
larrytopping
Beautiful. Thank you. Couldn’t have said it better myself.
Sansacro
@Giancarlo85: Often you espouse smart, progressive views that challenge and provoke; then you come out with some fascistic statement. Weird that you are so against republicans but have a tendency to mirror them with bullying, exclusive comments that don’t allow for disagreement, and instead of discussing an issue you disagree with, you abuse people with aspersions. “Either with me or against me” mentality. Just an observation. As for age-discordant relationships, here’s an interesting essay: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/blair-fell/dont-call-me-daddy-loving_b_7128576.html Just another viewpoint.
northparkgemini
For any of you that think discrimination is justified, just wait until you walk into a bar and there’s a sign stating, “Straight People Get In Free. Gays are $50”.
Giancarlo85
@Sansacro: My views are always left wing. That being said, your article is a bunch of bullocks. Now I normally respect Huffington Post as a slightly left of center source, but they really should have more control over what goes on their site. You have no right to call me a Republican. You Americans are all the same… You can’t handle far left wing views then you call names.
Relationships with big age gaps are often one sided and never last.
Giancarlo85
@Sansacro: And it seems some men like the one in the article need to stop trying to get with younger men. A relationship with an age gap like that won’t last. You have two different mindsets. The guy who wrote that article needs to get out of his time warp.
queertylulz
I am 34 and have been in the south fl gay scene since i was 19. Im surprised none if these comments are from south floridians. This group is a huge joke in the area… Well if you have lived in any big city that is. Ive lived in dc nyc California pretty much every gay mecca etc and ive never seen an hiv prevention group that is so shallow and hilariously inept. As others have assumed in the comments, this group is absolutely just a front to throw meth filled parties and many of the boys on the pic they use on their website (who presumably are the grouos leaders as they are earing impulse shirts) are known for barebacking and promiscuity. At least one has bareback porn scenes. To suggest this group is promoting safe sex is laughable. And the few 40+guys in this group i kniw of (realtor steve mcaleer) are the type of ‘old queens’ one would suggest this cover charge is trying to scare off. I.e. Preys on the 18-25 criwd despite being over 40 and gets his regular dose of botox before each party as he tries to pretend to be 29 for life. The few guys in thus group over 40 want the meth addict teinks for themselves so they have these silly 40$ charges. God forbid they have competition from other daddies!!!
jolsef
Show your support for this great organization by making a donation: http://www.gofundme.com/t37f8fk
charlieeod74
@HudsonLife: Thanks for that comment. I was pissed when I read that and couldn’t think of how to reply to this little shit. I’m 61 years young and still like to think that I have something to offer. I just hope that these words come back to haunt her when she gets over 40. What goes around eventually comes around.
larrytopping
Thank you, HudsonLife.
JORIAL
If they’re that ignorant about something as insignificant as age, just imagine how ignorant and misinformed they are about HIV.