A man has shared the message he received from his grandparents after they found out, via a newspaper story, that he’s gay.
Simon Crowther, 28, is a British civil engineer who specializes in water and flooding. The Nottingham-based entrepreneur founded his own company, Flood Protection Solutions, while still at university in 2012. In 2018 he was featured in a ‘Forbes Under 30’ feature of entrepreneurs to watch. The latest issue of gay magazine Attitude highlighted Crowther as a rising name in the LGBTQ engineering and tech world.
Crowther was out to most people in his life, including immediate family, but not his grandparents. However, his inclusion in Attitude list of 101 trailblazers was picked up by a local newspaper in his hometown of Nottingham, which ran a story about Crowther’s achievements.
Crowther’s uncle commented about the article to his grandparents, Jill and Bill, prompting this adorable message from them.
“Hello Simon, We learned from John R when he came round with Grandpa’s birthday present, that there was an excellent article recently, about you and how you built your business, in a Nottingham Evening Post Magazine.
“Apparently, you reported that you had ‘Come Out’ as being gay to your family when you were 21. Obviously, it was decided to keep it from us for if it upset us. Don’t worry, we are not upset.
“In fact, I had already worked it out for myself (Gran), but Grandpa didn’t know. Don’t worry. You are still the same Simon to us this news alters nothing. We want you to know that you are still our grandson and we love you just the same.
“We have not mentioned this to Mum or Jenny, so this message will be as big a surprise to them when you tell them, as it will be to you. I am so glad we now know. Enjoy your life.
“You are making a pretty good job of it up to now. And…..we would still love to see the article mentioned above. Can you e-mail it to us? With all our love and support,
“Gran and Grandpa.”
Related: Tom Daley just shared “Grandma Rose and Grandad Dink” stunned reaction to his coming out
Crowther shared the message to Twitter, adding the caption, “My 89 year old grandparents win the award for most adorable email ever 🥰🥰🥰 Feeling blessed”
My 89 year old grandparents win the award for most adorable email ever 🥰🥰🥰
Feeling blessed pic.twitter.com/aM6yNPIuTk— Simon Crowther (@SCcrowther) January 12, 2022
At the time of writing, the tweet has had over 44k likes and hundreds of comments. Here are just a few of the replies.
I’ve not come out to my grandparents. I was too scared that it would ruin our relationship because I can’t tell where they stand on those topics.
I missed my chance to tell both my grandads, but I’m still too nervous to tell my Nan 😔
— Neokuro 🏴🏳️🌈 (@NeoKuroTV) January 13, 2022
2/2 to knoabout gay people in 1940s onwards etc. he just shrugged and said “he was a nice man” no judgment, no assumptions,” my dad was amazing and the kindest non judgemental man I ever met. This story is about you but I wanted to share a little of my dad x hope you don’t mind.
— Sandra Smith (@SandraS79616167) January 13, 2022
And this is why we need to push back on the “excuse old people for bigotry” line. They don’t need to be. The world is better when they’re actually good people, no matter how old.
— Janet McKenna Lowry (@JanetMcKennaLow) January 13, 2022
That’s just wonderful! People misjudge how older people will react to things. My Mum spent her last 2 years in a care home. One of her favourite carers was a gay man. He once showed Mum a pic of new partner. Mum’s reaction? “He’s far too old for you, you need a younger man” 🤷♀️
— 🕷 Gill Lewis 🕷 (@Gill_666) January 13, 2022
I remember my Irish gran calling me when the vote for same sex marriage was taken in Ireland. “Ye have won the vote” she said. I asked if she had voted, and got “of course I fekkin voted for it, why wouldn’t I”.
She is now 90 years old and going strong.— Mark M (@MorganMarkF) January 13, 2022
The biggest surprise for me here is that 89 year old grandparents are bossing the technology to send an email 😂😂
— Simon Hall (@stickofrock) January 13, 2022
😂 love that you picked up on that. She always does
— Simon Crowther (@SCcrowther) January 12, 2022
Aww. I can just see them by the computer deliberating over what to say. They’re adorable pic.twitter.com/AdKbRjCgMa
— Simon Crowther (@SCcrowther) January 12, 2022
Related: Anita Bryant’s granddaughter wonders: should I invite my homophobic grandma to my wedding?
hotdogla
Having support like this can be the difference between life and death, success and failure. Go grandpa and grandma.
BuddyinCA
Hey my friend! I completely agree! Miss you!
Buddy–
McSteve
I know the excuses for not coming out to only certain, selected people and that’s exactly what they are…excuses.
“They wouldn’t understand” – how do you know what they understand, (and if they love you, isn’t there a chance that they will try?)
“They wouldn’t accept it” – it is unfair to them to make a decision on their behalf because you have determined the outcome. You don’t think enough of them to believe that they might rise to the occasion.
“They’ve never brought it up.” – Of course they haven’t, they are waiting for you to!
Not coming out means that YOU are holding them at arm’s length, YOU are preventing them from being close to you.
Of course it is different if you are young and still dependent, and yes the reaction may not be what you want. BUT that may only be for a while. It took a lot of us a long time to come to full self-acceptance, we need to allow the ones we love to have the same time and space to process it and come to their level of acceptance.
Openminded
I generally agree with your comment. However, there are many people who know with a high degree of certainty that their coming out will not be accepted with open arms and support, so for those people, not coming out may be the best decision. Ultimately, I strongly encourage everyone to come out in their own time and not let other’s push you into it. It is your life and your decision.
CaptainChaos
It’s true that we don’t give old people enough credit. Often, they’ve stopped caring about a lot of things they used to judge, exactly because they have grown older. In my own case, one of the last things my paternal grandmother asked my dad on her deathbed was if I’d gotten back together with my boyfriend of the time yet. That was the first conversation anyone in the family had about my gayness, because no one thought she could handle it. What a waste! On my maternal grandparents side, when my deeply religious grandparents were confronted by the church they were higher ups in about my being gay, they told that church in no uncertain terms that I was their most beloved grandchild, and should they force a choice, I would always win, hands down. They further treated that same boyfriend as one of their own much loved grandchildren, and were always thrilled to see him. I realize this doesn’t happen for everyone, but it can. In my case, this was 30 years ago!
storm45701
I hope he helps grandpa with his hair. Girl, no. I know it’s a wig, but still.
JClark
That’s all you got out of this heartwarming article?
Neoprene
Does Simon selectively withhold information from business clients as well?
dbmcvey
Wow. You are truly an AH.
Jack Meoff
Love everything about this story.
Winsocki
My Mom is 92yrs old. She knows about me and all our gay relatives… she does not care about any gender issues as long as a person is happy. She supports women’s issues regarding their reproduction and freedom. She hates Trump vehemently I try and say ‘not so loud’ in public when she disses Trump, I say a Trumpster might shoot us.