Happy Endings: Madonna’s Bitch

Italy

•Italy’s current Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi will most likely face Romano Prodi in next year’s elections. Prodi has now revealed that, if elected, he would legalize same-sex marriage in a country wherein every home hangs a life-size portrait of the Pope. We might just consider moving to Milan to vote for our man Prodi. If he loses, we can always go shopping for shoes.

•Make your voice heard! Tell California’s one time gay-for-pay boy toy, um, we mean, Governor not to veto that state’s same-sex marriage bill.

Madge’s movie curse has now officially infected her husband. We thought Swept Away was bad, but critics are slamming Guy Ritchie’s new film, Revolver. This might finally force him to come to terms with the only thing we’ve ever believed him to be: Madonna’s bitch.

•Thank God. Cheeseheads get their Naked Boys Singing back.

•92% of Fortune 500 companies protect their gay and lesbian employees from discrimination. The heads of the remaining 8% are currently living in the 19th Century endorsing child labor and forcing their “coloreds” to pick cotton out on their plantation.

Is South Beach dangerous for gays? Not with our new hero Super-Shaq!