A 38-year-old woman isn’t sure what to make of her 45-year-old husband constantly texting with guys on Grindr, so she’s seeking help from advice columnist Deidre Sanders.
The couple has been together for eight years. It’s her second marriage… and his fourth.
“I saw on a phone bill he left lying around that he had joined Grindr and asked him if he is bisexual,” the woman explains. “He said ‘No’ and that the texting was just a laugh when he was drunk.”
To make matters worse, her husband is away all week for work, creating a deeper chasm between the two of them. And when he’s home on the weekends, he’s drunk the entire time.
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“He gets nasty when he is home at weekends as he drinks too much,” she writes. “I have told him he needs to cut down.”
“He says he will but it never happens because he doesn’t think he has a problem.”
Clearly, there’s a lot to unpack with this one. A lot.
In her response, Deidre tells the woman flat out, “I think I can see why he may be on his fourth marriage.”
She goes on to say that many people are attracted to members of the same sex. And while she understands why the woman may be upset about this, “it’s your husband’s drinking that needs tackling first.”
“Tell him your weekends together have to change if your marriage is to last,” Deidre advises. “Plan outings you can enjoy together but be firm that you’re over if he’s nasty to you again.”
Hmmm. We hate to sound cynical, but this doesn’t sound like a marriage that’s going to last, no matter what the woman tries.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments section below…
Cam
“”“He gets nasty when he is home at weekends as he drinks too much,” she writes. “I have told him he needs to cut down.””
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He isn’t nasty because he drinks, he drinks because he doesn’t want to be with a woman and is missing whomever he is hooking up with on Grindr. Therefore he resents her and is taking it out on her.
She needs to file and get outta there.
curiobi
Yes. This is the advice she SHOULD have been given, what is all this plan outings crap? Outings to the divorce lawyer yes, other than that no. They both need to move on, that is obvious.
Josh447
Call a divorce lawyer.
Saps48
Maybe he needs that dating service that is always spamming here
GourmetGuy
It can take some people a long, long time to “come out.” Make that most people! But from the sound of things, that’s what’s going to happen, in due course.
stevep
I completely agree with Saps48 . How annoying!
gavo92
He’s just horny
bonbon
But not for anything she’s got on the menu.
piriblue
He is testing the waters. As soon as he finds what he likes he will dumps his wife. I have met so many straight guys whose legs go up in the air when they are seduced. I don’t think there is so much of a difference. Sex is sex many a straight guy has knocked on my door when no one is watching.
BuddyinCA
He’s making the choice for what he really desires by way of his behavior and action. Not to mention. the lack of action between him and his wife. It’s not that hard to figure out the solution to the equation in this problem. I always wonder how legit these stories are.
joeboyle49
YES SHE NEEDS TO FILE FOR DIVORCE AND LET HIM FIND THE MAN THAT HE WANTS BECAUSE THATS WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN! YES IVE HAD MANY A STRAIGHT MEN COME TO ME AND RAISE HIS LEGS UP! HE JUST NEEDS TO COME ON OUT OF THAT CLOSET!
Kangol2
Divorce lawyer on line 1….
Davidsas
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Grandolphrz
I think this story is bogus. The wife saw on the phone bill that he left lying around that he joined Grindr? Do people still get paper phone bills? The phone bill doesn’t list what sites you join.
1898
i was thinking the same thing. i’ve never had apps show up on my phone bill, even when i still had paper billing. it doesn’t make sense.