HOLY ROLLER

“I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Hooker”

ted-haggardNothing like a sex scandal to get the day started!

Evangelical preacher Ted Haggard (pictured) of Colorado Springs has found himself in a bit of a sticky situation. The virulently anti-gay head of the massive New Life Church allegedly had a three-year relationship with a male prostitute. Terrible, no?

The hooker in question, Mike Jones, took his story to a local news station two months ago, but didn’t come out about the matter publicly until yesterday morning. He says:

People may look at me and think what I’ve done is immoral, but I think I had to do the moral thing in my mind and that is expose someone who is preaching one thing and doing the opposite behind everybody’s back.

That’s what we like: a street walker with a conscience.

Not surprisingly, Haggard denies having slept with Jones – or any man, in fact – and says this is just a political move aimed at tarnishing his homo-hating image. He is, however, having his church look into the matter. You know, because they’ll be entirely impartial.

Also, can we just say that while we don’t personally know Haggard, he sure does look gay.