I Went To Wimbledon And All I Got Was This Breast-Baring Shirt (For Your Daughter)

When I was 10, my parents forced me to go to tennis practice with my old brother for an entire summer. I played Nintendo, not sports, so I hated the whole experience, and kinda hated tennis ever since. It’s not that tennis isn’t sufficiently gay with its translucent shorts, over eager ball boys, and backhanded serves, it’s just that it lacks the raw appeal of, say, Roman-Greco wrestling or men’s synchronized diving. Nevertheless, I recently had the pleasure of visiting the Wimbledon tennis sports complex (the “Disneyland of Tennis”) — including the court grounds, gift shop, and museum — and found that perhaps there’s a lot that queer fans can appreciate about tennis, especially if they have the balls.

Pictured: The 2010 Wimbledon champions Rafael Nadal and Serena Williams.