– I know I’m super late to the twerk party hosted by bootylicious baseball player John Magnum’s incredible jelly but the accompanying Vine has disappeared, leaving us with only a series of gifs. Gifs that keep on giving.

maleficentAngelina Jolie looks terrifyingly fabulous — albeit airbrushed to within an inch of her life — as the evil queen of Sleeping Beauty’s dreams nightmares in the poster for next year’s Maleficent.

Ben Affleck‘s Batman costume will be sans nipples, giving the Batman vs. Superman movie one less reason to suck.

– Meanwhile, Justin Bieber‘s Brazilian hooker bodybuilder and part-time actress, soaking up what’s left of her quickly disappearing 15 minutes, says the pop tart is “well-endowed.” Imagine when his balls finally drop.

– Some people (me) are excited for the Murder, She Wrote remake starring Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer, while some people (Angela Lansbury) think it’s a mistake.

– New Zealanders apparently love their nude, co-ed rugby games, but it’s not really fair that the women get to keep their clothes on. It’s called equality.

– Sculptures by artist and Lady Gaga crush Jeff Koons were vandalized at the lady’s Brooklyn bash Sunday night. But, hey, it’s Brooklyn. They should be glad no one turned one of the sculptures into a crack pipe.

– Speaking of Gags, she and beligerent bobblehead Perez Hilton are still feuding.

Elizabeth Berkley (Lauren) was eliminated from Dancing with the Stars, even after doing this hot shirtless threeway salsa, thus denying us a grand finale in which she performed a one-woman version of Showgirls in under 3 minutes. Talk about missed opportunities.:

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated